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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel disappointed that religious songs and stories are being introduced to this toddler group?

460 replies

neolara · 05/10/2011 18:40

OK. I'll come clean and admit it's a toddler group that is run in a church, headed up by the vicar's wife and staffed by volunteers from the church community. It is a completely fantastic toddler group. It's wildly popular, very friendly, lovely, lovely volunteers who make cups of tea and hand out biscuits and chat to all the mums. Really, IMO you couldn't ask for anything more from a toddler group. However, today they sang a couple of religious songs in amongst twinkle twinkle and started telling stories about Jesus. This is a new development and looks like a clear change of policy.

Up until today this toddler group was not obviously a "christian group" with no mention of Jesus or God, although families attending the group were invited along to child services and there was always information about the many and various activities the church organizes. I'm pretty convinced that the vast majority of families who go to the group are not attached to the church - they are just a random cross section of the people in our city. They go because it's a great group.

Now obviously, it is a church group, run by Christians and they are perfectly entitled to run it in whatever way they want. The running of the group has recently been taken over by someone new. She is extremely nice and seems very welcoming.

But as a non-believer, I felt very uncomfortable when the singing and stories are happening. I think this is partly because I just think the whole thing is nonsense (sorry to those who do believe, but I just do), partly because I see it as "indoctrinating" (I know this is only because I don't believe - if I agreed with the views I wouldn't see it in this way) and also because it makes me feel that if I don't believe then maybe I shouldn't be attending. I think that as the kids are so young, realistically they won't understand the stories or songs, so the fact that they are now happening is basically a way of signalling to the parents that this is now a religious group. Obviously, I can choose not to attend and this is something I may end up doing. All of which makes me sad because it has been such a fantastic, inclusive, toddler group in the past. I've been going to it for the past 7 years and it's been pretty great for all of that time.

Do you think it is worth mentioning to the (lovely) woman who runs the group the effect of introducing the religious element to the group? (I'd obviously leave out the bit about thinking Jesus is nonsense!) I wonder if she's even aware that by including religious songs / stories it can make it seem actively unwelcoming to those of other / or no faiths. Of course, this may be the effect that they are trying to achieve, which is obviously OK, (if sad for me!)

OP posts:
Fixture · 10/10/2011 22:25

Have you thought of taking your interest in debating religion to another level SGB? Theology degree perhaps? You'll be able to get into all sorts of scraps discussions and be surrounded by experts who have detailed arguments at their fingertips. Must be frustrating for you to keep talking on here and never find satisfactory answers to your questions. Come back and let us know if when you "see the light" too! :o

solidgoldbrass · 11/10/2011 09:47

Actually I would quite like to do a theology degree as I find comparative mytholgy interesting. But I have neither the money nor the time to do one.

madhairday · 11/10/2011 13:05

Himalaya I really don't think they would have minded, they wouldn't have seen it like that ie as an opportunity to tempt you via custard creams and friendliness into church. They'd have been happy if you'd have wanted to go along to anything and just as happy if you hadn't - our toddler group was the same - and as I have said it was first and foremost about getting together with other parents and having some downtime while the babies and toddlers were happy. There was no agenda, honestly - I think from this side we see it as much an expression of Jesus' love to befriend the lonely and simply be nice to people, create community etc as it is to help people take steps in faith. One doesn't have to lead to the other.

Grin
Himalaya · 11/10/2011 13:33

Madhairday -

I don't think they minded, but they were disappointed. They definitely saw it as missionary outreach, and wanted to change lives. I just wanted somewhere nice to hang out with my toddler.

I have been to church toddler groups that were like yours, somewhere for parents to get together. I'm not saying either approach is right or wrong, they are just different.

solidgoldbrass · 12/10/2011 08:03

How about this for ...well, something. Words almost fail me at the demented arrogance.

Oblomov · 12/10/2011 08:57

Has Op listed the songs they actually sing ? Did I miss that bit ?
They sing ....... what ?
Baa baa black sheep
Wheels on the bus
Twinkle twinkle
5 cheeky monkeys bouncing on the bed
and then they sing ...... ?
Kumbaya My Lord ?

Followed by ..... ?
One, two, buckle, my shoe ?

GrimmaTheNome · 12/10/2011 11:33

SBG - the thought does occur that 'ween' is rarely used now except in its compound 'overweening' : to be conceited or arrogant. Grin

But then again, kids who go demanding candy with menaces are fair game for whatever the householder decides to donate. If you want a good splutter, what do you reckon to Gideon Bibles in a council-run youth activity centre?

Himalaya · 12/10/2011 12:06

I was thinking about giving out mini tubes of toothpaste Grin

GrimmaTheNome · 12/10/2011 12:19

Grin Maybe sugarfree gum for the big kids wouldn't go amiss though!

solidgoldbrass · 12/10/2011 13:43

Depending on the area, I would have thought a packet of three and a Bacardi Breezer appropriate...

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