to buy my friend's fish a tank?

[AbyIsl]

My friend won a goldfish at the fair a couple of weeks ago. I REALLY don't like the whole fish as prizes thing, but that's besides the point.

On Thurs I went over and saw the fish for the first time. He (she?) is being kept in a small mixing bowl and doesn't have enough space. He's jumped out (a sign of needing more oxygen - too little water surface) and was gasping and sitting on the bottom of the bowl. He's also lost a lot of scales. They said they'd get a tank etc. Today they still hadn't bought one (we have a big Pets at Home near us). In fact they'd walked past two at a car boot sale this morning and still didn't buy one. They thought they might have one spare in a house they rented out, but still hadn't called the tenant to check and hadn't done anything about collecting it.

I've been worried about the fish. He's clearly not going to survive for much longer.

So, was I unreasonable to go to Pets at Home and buy a starter tank (with a bit of gravel and a small ornament thing? It's just a basic, 19 litre tank?

My friend was annoyed when I turned up with it and said her DH would be offended. I said it was just a gift and that there was nothing to be any annoyed about.

Was I unreasonable and rude?

YANBU OP. So its 'only a fish'? Great! And when their DC wants a pet? Oh well its only a hamster/ guinea pig/ rabbit/ kitten/ puppy, why bother getting the proper food and gear for it, just let it suffer and when it dies, get another one. Lovely attitude some people have!

Oh em geeee......I have just read this back and I am laughing my head off.

OP - yes, your friends are lazy slobs. They don't give a fuck about that fish. They are arseholes...but YOU...YOU are scary!
You are STALKING their goldfish!!

Jeezo, I've just read some of this thread out to dh....you could not make it up.
Thank you xx

Wow!! Look!

fishstalker.com/

Pictish you and your DH are easily amused, aren't you?

Yeah, a fish stalker site. "Wow!! Look!"

I think you're right, Mibby. If these adults can't take care of a goldfish there's not much hope for any animal the DS is going to want to 'look after'. What a mess. The OP's better off without them as friends, the uncaring, ungrateful sods.

Truly this has tickled me no end today.
I shall endeavour to get out and about tomorrow, I swear.

OP - your good intentions were unwelcome. It was nice of you to buy the tank....but when you sensed annoyance, you should've just stfu and left it there. Kindness is nice, persisting is irritating.

Pictish stop being such a wanker will you

OP, you were concerned and you panicked and did something that while it would have made you feel more in control, made them feel insulted.

Basically their pride couldn't take it. They needed an approach that would have allowed them to save face. I can't think what that would have been. I don't think I'd have known what to do either though.

I would think this is now unsalvageable sadly, but I think I'd be asking for my tank back in any case, if they said they weren't using it.

Or ignore them completely. that's the best chance you have of them actually using it after all.

Good luck. Sorry you took such a ridiculous flaming and I understand where you were coming from. I think it just came across like you were insulting them/being patronising when of course that was less important to you than the life of the fish and quite rightly so, but the friendship has had to be sacrificed, so let it go.

pictish, grow up

Hey - it's not me who would rather stalk a goldfish than have a friend! Lol!!

Lunacy.

yeah pictish grow up :P

i still think btw the the op WAS unreasonable to BUY them a friggin tank!! very generous of her, infact TOO generous and not her place to do so, thats the problem!

You did the right thing! I won fish as a kid at the fair, Lennon and McCartney. Lennon died after a week but McCartney lived for nearly 4 years. Good times.