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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy my friend's fish a tank?

160 replies

AbyIsl · 02/10/2011 12:32

My friend won a goldfish at the fair a couple of weeks ago. I REALLY don't like the whole fish as prizes thing, but that's besides the point.

On Thurs I went over and saw the fish for the first time. He (she?) is being kept in a small mixing bowl and doesn't have enough space. He's jumped out (a sign of needing more oxygen - too little water surface) and was gasping and sitting on the bottom of the bowl. He's also lost a lot of scales. They said they'd get a tank etc. Today they still hadn't bought one (we have a big Pets at Home near us). In fact they'd walked past two at a car boot sale this morning and still didn't buy one. They thought they might have one spare in a house they rented out, but still hadn't called the tenant to check and hadn't done anything about collecting it.

I've been worried about the fish. He's clearly not going to survive for much longer.

So, was I unreasonable to go to Pets at Home and buy a starter tank (with a bit of gravel and a small ornament thing? It's just a basic, 19 litre tank?

My friend was annoyed when I turned up with it and said her DH would be offended. I said it was just a gift and that there was nothing to be any annoyed about.

Was I unreasonable and rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
AbyIsl · 03/10/2011 13:26

...and actually they've ended the friendship.

OP posts:
MissQue · 03/10/2011 13:39

I'd ask for the fish tank and stuff back and buy a fish for yourself :D

BluddyMoFo · 03/10/2011 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 13:44

Fairground fish don't last anyway.

millimurphy · 03/10/2011 13:45

Poor fish. I wouldn't want to be friends with these people either. Not 'benign' maltreatment either PictishHmm, it is animal abuse.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 13:50

Goldfish only have a 2 second memory so it won't remember being 'abused'.

4madboys · 03/10/2011 13:56

tbh i think you were unreasonable for buying them a fish tank, they are quite capable of doing that themselves if they want to. its strikes me as being busybody and intefering, regardless of how you meant it.

its their fish and its a fairground prize so will probably not live long anyway.

SockMunkee · 03/10/2011 14:08

You must have nothing else to worry about. Lucky you

Original poster
AbyIsl · 03/10/2011 14:12

I do have a lot to worry about and a lot on my plate at the moment. Thanks.

OP posts:
pictish · 03/10/2011 14:21

Clearly.

Thumbwitch · 03/10/2011 14:26

Go and get your fishtank back at least - and ask them to give you the fish as they're clearly just waiting for it to die. It's not like you want to stay friends with them any more anyway now, so no problem in risking offending them.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 14:29

Wait until they are all asleep....put on a disguise, break in and liberate the fish. Pop him/her in the nearest pond.

NadiaWadia · 03/10/2011 14:41

Your 'friends' are twats. So they are letting a living creature suffocate to death slowly because they think you are interfering. Great.

You did all you could, OP. Could you demand your tank back (and the fish with it?)

pictish · 03/10/2011 14:42

Do what Thumbwitch suggests....go round, demand the tank back and ask for the fish as well.
You won't come over like an eccentric stickybeak at all, and they definitely won't entertain other people talking about you at dinner parties.
Go for it. Grin

ZeldaUpNorth · 03/10/2011 14:42

Goldfish remember longer than 2 seconds

NadiaWadia · 03/10/2011 14:45

So you think their behaviour is acceptable, pictish?

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 14:48

Hahahahahaaa some one ACTUALLY went to the trouble of checking facts about a fish memory!! Brilliant :D

Original poster
AbyIsl · 03/10/2011 15:06

Pictish everyone I've spoken to about this has said they'd have done the same, so it'll be a pointless dinner party anecdote.

By "Clearly" do you mean that I don't have enough to worry about? My best friend has HIV and I worry night and day. Thanks for checking though.

OP posts:
iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:10

Why on EARTH would you bring an illness like HIV into the debate? That is a shameful way to garner favor.

MissQue · 03/10/2011 15:14

I hardly think your friend would appreciate being dragged into a discussion about a fish just because they have HIV, it's completely irrelevant apart from anything else.

pictish · 03/10/2011 15:17

Indeed. You won't score points like that - you just look manipulative.

Look - you stuck your nose in where it wasn't wanted ok? The couple concerned have made it quite clear they aren't interested in your tank, OR your interference. They, like me, most likely think you're a bit of an oddball, and wish you would butt out bothering them about something that is not only not interesting to them, but absolutely none of your business.

Your mate having HIV is nothing to do with it.

NadiaWadia · 03/10/2011 15:17

There are a lot of mean-spirited people on this thread who are only interested in point-scoring.

I'd suggest the OP ignores them.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:20

I'm sorry Nadia I was under the impression that the OP was asking if she was BU??? So to not agree with the OP is to be mean-spirited and point scoring? How ridiculous.

NadiaWadia · 03/10/2011 15:22

You've just reinforced my point.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:22

Priceless.

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