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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy my friend's fish a tank?

160 replies

AbyIsl · 02/10/2011 12:32

My friend won a goldfish at the fair a couple of weeks ago. I REALLY don't like the whole fish as prizes thing, but that's besides the point.

On Thurs I went over and saw the fish for the first time. He (she?) is being kept in a small mixing bowl and doesn't have enough space. He's jumped out (a sign of needing more oxygen - too little water surface) and was gasping and sitting on the bottom of the bowl. He's also lost a lot of scales. They said they'd get a tank etc. Today they still hadn't bought one (we have a big Pets at Home near us). In fact they'd walked past two at a car boot sale this morning and still didn't buy one. They thought they might have one spare in a house they rented out, but still hadn't called the tenant to check and hadn't done anything about collecting it.

I've been worried about the fish. He's clearly not going to survive for much longer.

So, was I unreasonable to go to Pets at Home and buy a starter tank (with a bit of gravel and a small ornament thing? It's just a basic, 19 litre tank?

My friend was annoyed when I turned up with it and said her DH would be offended. I said it was just a gift and that there was nothing to be any annoyed about.

Was I unreasonable and rude?

OP posts:
NadiaWadia · 03/10/2011 15:23

I can't be bothered anymore. Don't you have anything more useful to do?

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:24

Hahaaaa! Cliche bingo!!

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:27

Oh actually I have. School run! Bye!

MissQue · 03/10/2011 15:31

If you ask a question, then you should be aware that not everyone will have the same POV surely?

EauRouge · 03/10/2011 15:44

Most people probably don't care much about fish but on the off-chance that someone does, goldfish get massive and live for years and this is why funfair fish don't live very long.

Right, there's too much natural daylight in here, I'm going back to fishnet

HerdOfTinyElephants · 03/10/2011 15:45

What the hell is "benign maltreatment"?

complexnumber · 03/10/2011 15:51

We bought our DDs some fish a few years ago. We tried to do the right thing; buying a big tank, air pump and everything else that was recommended.

But it was awful. We started with 5 fish, every morning we found another one dead.

We don't get too upset though, we have bigger fish to fry.

Original poster
AbyIsl · 03/10/2011 15:51

Pictish I don't need to mention that to garner favour. My point of view is already the favourite, clearly.

I did need to mention it to people like you who think that people who care about animals suffering have "nothing better to worry about". You look a fool, not me. Embarrassed? You should be.

Back to the fish now, please.

Don't you realise that their treatment of the fish is illegal? It's illegal for a very good reason.

OP posts:
MysteriousHamster · 03/10/2011 15:53

It was implied more than once that the OP couldn't possibly be stressed if she was worrying about the fish, which is why she finally mentioned her friend, iveweedabit, or at least that how it appeared to me.

FWIW I think you did a well-meaning thing, OP and they were a bit silly to take offence. What's more, if they're not going to use the tank, they should offer to return it to you (please get it back if they don't). Poor little fish :(

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 15:57

Trust me AbyIsl....Pictish doesn't look the fool :D

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 03/10/2011 15:59

complexnumber - that's a common experience, and it happened because no-one explained to you that you have to "cycle" the tank before putting fish in it - that is, allow the growth of "good" bacteria in the filter which eat up the bad chemicals in the water and poison the fish. People either cycle the tank by using a few hardy fish, or like I did, by putting regulated amounts of ammonia in the water before you put the fish in (so-called Fishless Cycling). If you don't cycle the tank you just poison the first few fish.

No, I don't have anything better to worry about

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 03/10/2011 15:59

and even if I did, am I not allowed to care about animals as well?

pictish · 03/10/2011 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

HerdOfTinyElephants · 03/10/2011 16:10

When "what they are told" is "stop mistreating that animal, because it is clearly in distress and dying" then I don't think it's unreasonable to expect them to do as they are told.

ShoutyHamster · 03/10/2011 16:15

OP, phone RSPCA and see what they say?

Or send that text - shame the nasty buggers.

pictish · 03/10/2011 16:23

Yes OP - phone the RSPCA, because they've got all the time in world for this nonsense, AND continue to harrass this couple about the goldfish, via text. Excellent suggestion!

pictish · 03/10/2011 16:24

I love this thread! Grin

PerkyPonk · 03/10/2011 16:26

YA DEFINITELY NBU!

How thick those people must be, to A) think it ok to win a fish at a fairgound and B) to treat a goldfish like that. As someone said, they are easy things to look after after all!

The pricks on this thread who suggest that the OP has nothing to worry about, and then backpedal like mad when it looks as though she has a lot on - you are coming across as complete twats.

Well done, OP! Good on you for doing the right thing. As someone said, it's not just immoral but it's illegal to treat a fish so badly.

FreckledLeopard · 03/10/2011 16:26

Well done OP - I'd have done exactly the same as you. If you have animals as pets, you have a responsibity to them. End of.

We have some friends who have a very different view of animals. They get rabbits, rabbits escape, they replace them, then let them go loose.....I've told them that if they get any further animals I'll have no qualms in calling the RSPCA and reporting them. Am hoping the message sinks in.

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 16:33

Me too!!!!!

iveweedabit · 03/10/2011 16:34

Love this thread I mean :D

PerkyPonk · 03/10/2011 16:39

Glutton for punishment, iweed. You're coming across as completely mindless.

GandTiceandaslice · 03/10/2011 16:45

The RSPCA won't give a shit. They don't care when it's a cat/dog. Let alone a bloody goldfish.

I hate fish. Creepy bastards. Coat it in breadcrumbs, where they belong! Grin

EricNorthmansMistress · 03/10/2011 16:50

Why do people think that animal cruelty is fine just because the animal in question is small and a bit thick? Would it be ok to take a pet hamster and shut it in a tupperware box until it suffocated? Because that is exactly what they are doing. So OP says 'hey, that hamster is going to suffocate in there, how about you use this hamster cage I bought' - I think opinions on that scenario would be 'why the hell didn't you just take the hamster away from these horrible people?' Not 'why do you care'

YANBU OP, but there isn't much you can do.

I do wonder though, how many of the posters on this thread eat fish? Lots of them meet their death through rather unpleasant methods, including suffocation.

MRSMONEYPENNY73 · 03/10/2011 16:50

Falling out over a fucking goldfish!!! dear me how pathetic!

Perhaps this couple had every intention of buying a bigger tank but have more important things to deal with first?