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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask neighbours to go halves

72 replies

AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 21:37

We live in a semi with non-existent appalling soundproofing. We'd like to get soundproofing, but it's quite expensive. Next door (the other way, not the ones we're attached to) have had theirs done, and it's made a huge difference to them. However, it's also made a huge difference to the people they are attached to. So, it would seem that if you're the house to have soundproofing put in, not only does it benefit you, it also benefits your neighbours without them having soundproofed their walls. My question is, would IBU to ask our neighbours to contribute half the cost, which I think would be about £750? I suppose I feel like I don't want us to fork out for something that's going to make life quieter for our neighbours when they're the problem in the first place. Or is that just petty?? Exciting question for a Friday night, I know ;)

OP posts:
lec0rnsillk · 30/09/2011 21:39

why are they the problem?

AgentZigzag · 30/09/2011 21:40

It'd depend on how much their noise bothers you.

You could ask them, but have to be prepared for them to say no (which I probably would because we're not bothered by any noise ours make).

Are you possibly the noiser of the two is the other question I suppose Grin

You're more likely to get the cash if you're noisy for a couple of weeks before you ask?

theITgirl · 30/09/2011 21:40

Who is being noisy - you or them?
What time is the noise, e.g you are doing nights and they are making noise in the day-time (or vice versa)?

But I think it is unlikely they will pay half.

Beamur · 30/09/2011 21:40

How well do you get on with them?
I don't think they would have any obligation to share the cost - but I think you know that already.
I reckon if I was on good terms with my neighbours and they asked me to share the cost, I might consider contributing - maybe not half though.

worraliberty · 30/09/2011 21:42

Totally depends on the noise you're saying they make.

If it's band practice at 3am then YANBU

If it's day to day living then YABU

AgentZigzag · 30/09/2011 21:42

Also, are there any farm yard animal noises coming from their bedroom? (a hideous problem from another noisy neighbour thread Grin)

kaumana · 30/09/2011 21:42

Hmm, I've got a problem with this too. What do they do to soundproof the walls?

Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 21:43

Well, they've got 2 boys who are about 19 and 21, really loud, guitar-playing, often have mates round till pretty late. They can no doubt hear us, but at least our kids are asleep and quite by 8pm at the latest! One's at uni now, the other's just finished, so it's one or the other of them. It's the layout of the houses and lack of soundproofing that are the real problem, but I think if you live in a semi, it's probably more bearable if you're at the same life stages IYSWIM!

OP posts:
lec0rnsillk · 30/09/2011 21:45

how late are they playing the guitars?

AuntiePickleBottom · 30/09/2011 21:46

The problem is that you could move and the next people may remove, meaning they have wasted there money.

Also they are investing, but if you sell then it would add value to your home only

lisad123 · 30/09/2011 21:47

But the work will be done in your house and your the one with problem, yes yabu.

AgentZigzag · 30/09/2011 21:48

You say yours are in bed by 8, but I bet they're up earlier disturbing guitar playing teenagers who stay up til all hours

Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 21:49

God, I'm such a slow typer, there was only one reply when I posted for the second time! So, to answer...
I know there's no obligation for them to pay. Fortunately we get on quite well - we all accept it's the design of the houses that's at fault, it's just exacerbated by the fact that the boys are really loud in pretty much everything they do! No farmyard animal noises - there was an "enthusiastic" girlfriend, but we had a word and that seemed to do the trick!
Kaumana, I'm not entirely sure what the soundproofing is - I think a bit of extra wall with foam-type stuff inbetween the walls? apparently v effective, just pricey.

OP posts:
fizzyelderflower · 30/09/2011 21:52

I agree totally with the life-stages thing Avon. Our neighbours are a group of sharers and they're noisy when we're quiet. We also tend to hear everything because we're so used to listening out for DCs.

We've often considered sound-proofing but never sure whether it would make a difference. It's good to know that it does.

I know the landlord of our neighbours would never contribute because it's not his problem but perhaps your neighbours will if you have a good relationship with them.

purples · 30/09/2011 21:52

Thats the problem with alot of new housing, they look good when built but just aren't very good to live in: thin walls, lack of storage space, small rooms etc. But if you have thin wall then the only way to stop noise is sound proofing. I don't know if you've discussed the problem with your neighbours before, are they reasonable people? If you haven't talked to them, then how do you know they don't have the same problem with you? You could talk to them, but do it carefully, some people get very upset by suggesting they are problem neighbours.
I reckon at the end of the day, you will probably have to pay for it yourself, after all your the one making it an issue of the noise. You've got to decide if its worth upseting your neighbours?

TastyMuffins · 30/09/2011 21:53

Would you pay half to have their house soundproofed? They are more likely to agree to that.

Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 21:56

lisad123, yes the work would be done in our house, but it would also benefit our neighbours cos they wouldn't be able to hear us any more. Not sure if that bothers them, though.
agentZigzag, yes, our two are definitely up earlier than next door, but I'm not sure noise at 7am is as disruptive? WHo knows. Like I said, it'd be easier if it was the same stage family next door. I'm particularly disgruntled now, cos I think they're past the teenage stage and the one who's finished uni should have scooted out by now. I never went to live back at home after uni, perish the thought!

OP posts:
Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 21:59

TastyMuffins, tbh, no we wouldn't pay for them to have their house soundproofed. When we come to sell I think it'll be better for us to have had it done. THe general consensus seems to be that I couldn't expect them to pay - but WIBU to ask them?

OP posts:
kaumana · 30/09/2011 22:00

I've got the same problem with different ages of kids leading to varying noise levels at varying times. Quiet on my side for the mo but no doubt will change in time. We live in a Victorian building so it's not just new builds that have the problem, it's pretty bad when you can hear every creak and moan....

ChippingIn · 30/09/2011 22:04

YANBU to ask them to consider making a contribution towards it... but I think 50/50 is unfair as it's you that's bothered enough about the noise to want a solution to it and more importantly you are the one who would benefit when it comes to selling your house.

LOL @ not sure noise at 7am is disruptive Grin Really depends which side of your joint wall you live I think!!

Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 22:09

Yeah, swings and roundabouts re how disruptive 7am noise is Wink I think, to be fair, they may be a teensy bit more laid back than me!! The ideal solution would be to move, obv, but that's not going to happen any time soon sadly so this could be an interim fix.

OP posts:
chillikate · 30/09/2011 22:12

In direct answer to your question:

YANBU to ASK neighbours if they want to go halves.

YABU to EXPECT them to.

Recently our lettings agency said some painting needed doing on the outside and they said they asked the neighbours if they wanted to go halves on having theirs done too cos it would reduce the cost. I was a bit Shock and then heard that the neighbours were really happy because they'd wanted it done too.

IrmaLittleteapot · 30/09/2011 22:12

When we come to sell I think it'll be better for us to have had it done.

Based on that YABU and you should not ask. I am thinking you have quite some brass neck! Grin

Original poster
AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/09/2011 22:15

Really Irma? That's not brass neck, it's just stating a fact Confused

OP posts:
proudfoot · 30/09/2011 22:30

YABU

If you by your own admission would not be willing to pay half for them to have it done, why do you think they would pay for yours, when you are the one who wants it for your quiet and the value of your house?! Mind boggling Confused

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