AIBU to think that children should be reading when they start school?

[horribledinners]

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, I started having kids 20+ years ago, but I, and all my brothers and sisters were taught to read and write by my parents before we started primary school. I taught my two older kids to read and begin to learn to write letters in time for them starting primary education, and would be ashamed if ds3 couldn't recognise letters and be able to read by the time he starts school.

I completely understand that there have been many confusing 'experiments' in education since then, the abandonment of phonics was a tragedy in my opinion; but do parents really think its the schools job to teach kids to read and write and do they not even give an introduction to reading and writing anymore?

I would love to know if this is a generational thing. I know for certain its not a class thing as we were very poor growing up and my Mum would take us out to the bus-stop and make us read out the notices!

novice, I have also done all those things with our dds, but have never felt that I needed to sit down and 'teach' them to read, in the same way that I don't feel I have sit and 'teach' them to draw. Neither of them could read before they started school, dd1 is on an average reading age at the beginning of year 1, and really enjoys reading time, dd2 has just started reception, and hasn't bought home any books yet, just sounding out letters, again she is really enjoying school, which is great. I read to ds (15 months) but we stick with very basic picture books, with simple pictures and words, as this is what his SALT recommends (he has developmental delays).

My parents taught me to read before i started school, and when I started I was the only one who could read, I remember feeling very different from the other children (but I was a bit odd!), and struggling, because they were all learning ITA, which was confusing to someone who already knew how to read.

haven't read the whole thread but yabvu and totally missing the point. Children should 'learn' what is developmentaly appropriate and 2-5 yrs is prime time for social and emotional development. It's crucial that they can share, negotiate play, wait for a turn, understand each others needs and wants etc etc and like many life skills we need to help them 'learn' this. Their cogntive development blossoms a bit later and there is no need for them to be able to read/write at 4.

My yanbu to OP should have had a caveat in that I don't see anything wrong with "teaching" to read but I don't see what there is to get judgey or superior about if your child can read as everyone catches up within a year or two anyway.

wordfactory, I do enjoy it as do the dc. I started doing books with dd at 4 months because it was a nice thing to do with her when I came in from work before I fed her. Prolonged our time together at the end of the day and now doing the same with dc2.

pag, hazy, if they don't learn to read even though I have done those things with them then its no loss. I think reading this thread its easy to get the impression that I would be regarded as a bad parent for teaching my child to read so my point is that its not that much of a crime!

I agree with your caveat for sure, noviceoftheday.
I will have to look for posts suggesting that teaching a child who is ready is a crime. I have not noticed those. And I could read before I went to school -how crap am I ?

I have said repeatedly that if you child wants to and is ready to then great.

My objection is to the op saying one should teach and indeed it is shameful not to - and then others supporting that.

If you want to start a thread asking "my child wants to learn letters. Aibu to teach her?" I will support you with gusto. But that is not this thread.

pags have a thread in education,would value your input.

as you were.

At the end of a 12 page thread, nobody seems to have answered the question:

Does it matter either way?

Does it matter whether your child learns to read on their 4th birthday or when they are 4 1/2?

Surely 4.0 is not some magic cut-off date for learning to read?

If children regularly started school aged 5 (as they used to do in this country 30 years ago) would you still consider it vital that they had learnt to read before our current school starting age of 4?

Otherwise, what is the significance of learning "before they start school?"

I learnt to read before I started school, dd didn't. But then she started 2 years earlier than me, so this possibly doesn't have any significance at all. Neither of us was held back, we learnt at much the same age.

I wouldn't say it matters hugely. Studies done in the 60's showed that children who started reading before school had an average IQ of 1 point higher than children who didn't, but that is hardly earth-shattering. Far more important IMO is that a child is taught to love to read, which can easily be squashed out of them by pushing them to read when they aren't ready or by poor teachers who don't stretch children who arrive at school already reading.

Pag I completely agree with your last post. I didn't express myself well first time but what prompted me to post was that some posts from some posters have come across (probably in response to the tone of the OPs post) that it is not a good thing to teach young children to read so the point I was/am trying to give a softer perspective. Clearly didn't come across as that!

I don't really understand the importance placed on reading by some.

3 year olds have so much to learn. You're pretty much always teaching them something.

Mine can't read (although she thinks she can :o) but she can draw people and horses and people on horses and chairs and she knows how to mix paints to make different colours. And she is really good at climbing. And she makes up her own songs and wants to be in a band.

She loves stories and books and is interested in letters and how they make words. When she does learn to read it is going to blow her mind how cool it is.

But what is the rush?

Ds2 could read before he started school. He taught himself 'cos he was desperate to use his older siblings nintendo DS's. I bought him his own just before he was 4 and can remember him coming to me with snippets he had read in the instruction manual re the wifi connection

I don't think any of my others could TBH, I have memories of ORT key words hell that seemed to go on for YEARS.

Befroe my dc started school they tried to learn to read and I had to hide all the books and larrup their hides.

Oh yes, I tried to beat any booklearnin' nonsense out of my kids. Ridiculous, why on earth would they need to read...or learn a brass instrument. I mean FFS. I live in a semi detached house and the sound of pages turning might upset the neighbours.

Yabvu.

Ds taught himself to read before school and I was ok with that. He also taught himself to write which was not such a good idea, as he then spent 2 years having to unlearn it and learn how to form his letters properly.

Lots of tears over this.

Yabu. If they cant well, they'll learn. School innit? If they can, marvellous.

Bet this thread would have disintegrated without that insightful input.

I have to say and agree with other posters that being read to from a young age does not necessarily make a child love reading, this certainly was the case with my ds.

ds being my first was read too A LOT. He loved it too as I did and I felt quite smug about it thinking oh he's so going to be top of his class with his love of books when he goes to school.

Now aged 11 he hates reading with a passion, he's always struggled with literacy and his spelling is terrible.

Ive backed of with the dd's, although they have been read to and all of them like their books its done on thier terms and now dd1 is very literate and can read very well. dd2 has just started reception and is doing well too

I never learnt until I was 7 (I had a slight learning delay) but it didnt stop me catching up very quickly and now have an English Lit degree.

Most schools would rather you left the teaching to them anyway.

YABU. We were very poor growing up and I could hardly talk, let alone read when I started school at age 4. I have more than made up for it now!

How does being poor affect your speech?

I started school aged four and able to read, as my dad taught us. I have not become an "intellectual giant" by any stretch of the imagination. However, I am definitely into books.

I intend to teach my daughter if she seems willing.

Not sure about the "ashamed" part though?

Being poor and unable to talk much may have been coincidental RIZZO. I didn't mean them to come across as linked.

I don't think its very important at all neither 1 or my 3 sisters could read or write at age 5 when we went to school, however, we could dress ourselves go to toilet alone and fasten our own coats and shoes ( no velcro then ) sit still and follow instructions; which apparently my primary school teacher was much more helpful in teaching a class than the fact that johnny can write johnny but can't do the above ( i am not talking about SN here)

I and 2 of my sisters learnt to read and write very quickly my youngest sister seemed to really struggle by the time she was 6 still hardly reading at all then something clicked and by age 7 had finished the complete reading scheme and she still reads about 4 books a week. I do not think it is any indicator of educational attainment, we all love reading and read huge numbers of books

I do think that children being exposed to varied vocabulary through being read to and having books around and people talking to them and having conversations with them makes a huge difference. I do not have much intention of teaching ym 22 month old DD to read before school though if very interested i would not hold her back either at the moment she is training to be a mechanic as she knows and remebers how every appliance in house works and whats to dismantle it and then reassemble

I bet the op has girls?

I have nothing to back this up and it is purely my opinion so forgive me if I'm wrong.

If a child goes to school knowing nothing or very very little at all, they may feel intimidated and deflated when presented with the huge challenge that learning to read, write and count is. So a little bit of the basics is a good thing.

On the other hand if a child knows everything that they are supposed to learn in a year before the first day of school he/she may get bored, demotivated or feel like they don't belong in school and can't get anything out of it. It is important to leave somethings to be learnt at school with a little bit of basics coming from home.

YABVU.

It's not a class thing. Nor is it a generational thing. It's a smugness and judgey thing.