Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Alex James should be drowned in a vat of Spudsworth Melting Cubes?

241 replies

MrsLadywoman · 30/09/2011 12:21

Here's Alex James, friend of Cameron and Clarkson and fellow member of the Chipping Norton set, coining it in by flogging cheese to the plebs at Asda.

Surely 'bread-shaped cheese blankets' are just cheese slices. And Spudsworth? Chop up a small quantity of 4 cheeses and put them in a bag. Bingo, a brand new product.

Can we all just stop this collective madness and stop buying any old shit, just because it's sold by a celeb?

OP posts:
MinesaBottle · 30/09/2011 16:44

Perhaps it's like Guinevere, the younger DS in the Viz Modern Parents strip - he is actually a boy but they named him that because they wanted to stick to fingers up at gender and convention.

The only one of those names that doesn't sound like it's come out of a mental vortex of gender confusion, pretentiousness and ignorance is Beatrix. It's a lovely name but unusual these days - I wonder how she feels about having the 'normal' name?

DontCallMeBaby My aunt had a cat called Sable - don't think she was that keen on cheese though (the cat)

queenrollo · 30/09/2011 17:18

www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/eastmidlands/series6/lincolnshire_peace_community_conscientious_objector.shtml

a bit off topic but Damon's Grandfather was a conscientious objector during the war and part of an interesting farming community in Lincolnshire.....

just making a cheese/farming mental connection in my brain.

BootyMum · 30/09/2011 17:47

It blew his mind that they put melted cheese on baked potatos in France...

They aren't just cubes of cheese, they are clever cubes

Erm, alrighty then.

I think the Asda video is a spoof. It's a big joke, it has to be. No-one can be that smug and pompous [except DC his great mate]

otherwise it would seem that AJ thinks the plebs are mighty stupid and will believe that his melted cheese is the epitome of, what was that he called it, microwave gastronomy

Jesus and Grin Grin Grin

iklboo · 30/09/2011 18:00

I saw the 'blankets' in Asda tonight. In the reduced section. Grin

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 30/09/2011 18:03

don't think I could bring myself to eat a "cheese blanket" - sounds like something from Viz's Profanisaurus

GetOrfMo1Land · 30/09/2011 18:09

I loathed him in Blur's heyday and I loathe him now, the floppy haired fool.

HATED the way he played his bass with a fag hanging out.

Plus he was a crap musician compared to the others (this mattered to me when I was 15).

The ghastly cotswold dwelling bastard.

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:10

I don't care about the smug cheese. I would marry him in a heartbeat. He's all gangly and laconic. And a route into Damon.

Alouiseg · 30/09/2011 18:17

I'm waiting for Alex's special knob cheese to appear in Ann Summers.

CristinadellaPizza · 30/09/2011 18:28

alistron, he's gangly and thick, honest. Damon however is very clever. The pair of them were complete slaaaaaaaaaaaaaags in Blur's heydey though, whoever mentioned that

Alouiseg · 30/09/2011 18:31

Except that Justine (from Elastica, not Lady Mumsnet) his ex girl friend was quoted as saying (except I'm paraphrasing) he had the lowest sex drive of any man she's ever cum come across.

Alouiseg · 30/09/2011 18:32

(Justine was Damon's ex not Alex's.)

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:33

I saw blur live in '91 during their 'there's no other way' heyday. They defined my expectations of boyfriend material until today for years.

Don't care if he's thick, we wouldn't be talking proust together.

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:35

Yes, the doomed romance of Justine and Damon that spawned the epic Beetlebum. I do actually rate Blur, and seeing as I'm a Led Zep fan my opinion should carry some weight around here

Alouiseg · 30/09/2011 18:37

I believe you Alistron1

Bearcrumble · 30/09/2011 18:40

His wife makes huge financial demands on him - shitloads of horses, million kids etc. etc. so he has to whore himself out in this way to get enough money to keep her happy. He's a bellend.

BootyMum · 30/09/2011 18:48

Who is his wife?

How do you know she makes huge financial demands on him Bearcrumble?

Do you know them?

Are they as awful as I imagine - smug and pretentious, self promoting wallies?

said · 30/09/2011 18:49

Oh, thank god for this thread! Thought I was alone in my hatred of Alex James. Did you know that he is the first person to have ever made cheese? Yes, he is.

LeBOF · 30/09/2011 18:49

I have read an extremely unsavoury sex story about him on a groupie site. It did not involve cheese though.

Alouiseg · 30/09/2011 18:51

Do tell LeBof if you're worried about libel I accept pm's :o

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:54

LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE MIGHT HAVE INVENTED SMUG CHEESE BUT HE IS LOUCHE.

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:55

Oh yes, pm me about the sex thing!!!

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 18:56

Also, he can really WEAR a suit. He WEARS them. And he has floppy hair. I could forgive him anything. Even the cheese.

LeBOF · 30/09/2011 18:58

I couldn't possibly repeat such a scurrilous rumour, and have no idea of its veracity, but google is your friend...

said · 30/09/2011 19:01

I thought his farm was in financial trouble? Hope so, then he might go away. Remember him on the conductor programme as well - he was shit and boring on that as well. Feel so happy that his target market hate him. Grin

alistron1 · 30/09/2011 19:01

I am not googling, am going to continue with my love for Alex. Might start a campaign TBH. You are all very cruel, and he's a sensitive, cheese making, floppy haired musician.

Who can really WEAR a suit.