to tell snotface doctor to fannythefanny off!

[BullyBeefBadgers]

at appointment yesterday to discuss completely unrelated problem the (male) doctor looked at me and said "I am concerned that after 5 months and at your age that you haven't snapped back yet" My response: .

I promptly picked up DD, stood up, told him that I was appalled and stalked out. I really wanted to shove his stethoscope where the sun don't shine. I am not even overweight. I have put on 1 stone since pregnancy which hasn't gone yet but I am not massive! Clinically, medically, scientifically and technically I am not overweight! Yes I am 21 and many women at my age ping back after childbirth without any problems but I was ill with appendicitus 3 weeks after having DD and so haven't been as active as some.

Please tell me that hes an utter wankstain or have I got this totally wrong!?

Also... the doctor had ample backpedal room to say "Goodness me no, I was worried you had extremely-obscure-disease-itis", instead of "Typical teenagers".

Doctors are not immune to foot-in-mouth syndrome, but usually notice when they've done it.

A bit like the locum who saw and diagnosed DS, saying 'Don't worry, most babies survive this... er, no, em...'
Me: 'Do you mean, most babies recover without treatment?'
Dr: 'Um, yes, that's the one'

i think yabu because instead of asking him what he meant by the comment you stormed off... i mean would he really notice if you'd put weight on or not?? drs see so many patients unless you are there constantly he wouldnt know surely???

I think you're being oversensitive. He's a doctor - it's his business to pay attention to your wellbeing. It might have been a bit abrupt for your liking, but GPs don't always have a perfect bedside manner. People are far too critical of the NHS!

Try putting the complaint in writing and see how it reads back.

I think making another appt to discuss what he meant last time is wasting the Doctors time when he could be seeing sick patients
I mean no one treats Paramedics in such a rude way !!!
Well apart from the drunks etc

As a GP, I find the OP a little difficult to believe.

GPs are constantly battling against the clock with only 10 minutes per appointment. It's a nightmare. The very last thing in the world that any GP would want to do is start a random argument with the patient about something completely off-topic. And - though I have heard plenty of doctors be tactless and some even rude - I have never ever in 20 years in healthcare heard any doctor use the expression "snapped back" about a post-pregnancy tummy. "Snapped back" just doesn't make sense in medically.

I don't think the OP has given us the whole story.

Or perhaps Anyone she has given it, but from her POV. She has a young baby and has health issues and is worried about her DP, so she isnt very well placed to see what could have meant in a lighthearted way to enquire about her health.

The GP may well agree that he said it but his view of the situation could be very different. I think that the OP is under immense stress and pressure atm, she would be with just the baby never mind her other issues, and we should cut her some slack.

Perhaps a visit to the GP to discuss what he said and how she reacted to it would be helpful as it may help her to realise that she might need a little help herself.

I don't believe that he said it. In fact I think the whole OP is unlikely to be true. Sorry, but there it is. (NB I can easily believe a doctor could be rude, I just don't believe that any doctor would have done what the OP is claiming for the reasons I gave above).

I think the OP is a projection of the poster's own body image anxieties and it isn't particularly helpful to be stoking her anxiety by getting outraged on her behalf and telling her to complain.

I dont think she should complain, not at all. But I do think that she should see someone at her practice about whether her reaction (assuming what she posted is true, I always take what is written as read) was an appropriate one or not. Given her personal circumstances, it wouldnt be surprising to find she had PND for example.

Or it could be bullshit, I am not a doctor so I dont know whether the medical info she gave was correct. But with a post like this, as I am sure you know in your professional capacity, accusing someone of being a troll or a liar could be very damaging if it turns out to be what a troubled person believes to be a true interpretation of events.

using someone of being a troll or a liar could be very damaging if it turns out to be what a troubled person believes to be a true interpretation of events.

Less damaging than feeding a fantasy, if that's what it is.

I see what you are saying, but I have had PND and being accused of being a liar or a drama queen would have been the final nail. If a person is a fantasist then the mental damage would be less if they were found out, than a genuine PND sufferer (if thats what it is) being called a liar, wouldnt it? It would have been for me, and I was lucky that it only happened once and it was mild (didnt feel mild at the time but I see now that it was).
Not arguing for the sake of it, just curious as to how you came to that conclusion.

I think leaving rather than calling him a ranker to his face was exactly the right think to do. Sorry but Drs are human they do notice their female patients figures and they do open their mouths without engaging brain.

Your over-emotional response to this is why we, as a nation, are overweight.

YABU.

And YABU to a lot of others here too.

Would you prefer a polite, charming doctor who wasn't honest?

On what you say, how is it relevant that you were there to discuss your partner's problems? You are also his patient. Your partner's wellbeing affects your wellbeing and vice versa, so it seems quite in order to raise medical issues that affect you.

To my mind, doctors are too concerned with being polite so as to avoid complaints. When that stops them from being honest and direct, as it inevitably must, it is bad for everyone's health.

Jesus, Worra, what is your problem? Do you realise how rude and aggressive you come over?

OP
Yanbu, it was rude of the doctor. If he was concerned about any health issues of yours, then he should have waited until you had finished talking about your partner before raising them.

Perhaps he did mean that he was worried that, considering your age and general fitness, your abdomen was still slightly swollen.

(See what I did there?)

HengshanRoad - really? REALLY?!

That's a heck of a responsibility to hang round the neck of a 21yo mum who isn't even overweight

Oh dear lord

OP, IMO YANBU. As with other opinions here, I think he should have addressed your concerns about your partner first since thats what you were there for in the first place...and then if he had any concerns about your health, addressed them in a professional manner,

'snapping back'?? what does that mean to someone who, by my standards, sounds quite slim anyway. Not exactly medical terminology is it. To be honest, its no good being too thin with a new baby because you need the energy especially if you're BF and even if you're not sometimes you just don't have time to eat properly when you're a new mum.

I wouldn't bother complaining, just see a different doctor next time you go or change clinics? Take care.

Oh dear lord. Have just checked this thread and am amazed that this is being flagged as a troll thread! Really? So just because something happened that some of you think is far fetched that means it didn't happen? As for those that think they don't have the full story I shall make sure you do:

I had a complication free pregnancy. I went into labour ten days before due date. labour lasted less than ten hours, I used only gas and air, DD was born without me tearing at all and I was sent home 7 hours later. After 4 weeks I was back in shape although compared to my pre-pregnancy weight I was 1 stone heavier. this is not a stomach thing but distributed evenly everywhere, arms, face, legs, bum and tum SLIGHTLY bigger. but I still look very thin. I don't have a bulging stomach. to the doctor or anyone else they wouldn't say I looked any bigger. I have been told by family, neighbours etc that it doesn't look like I've had a baby. The doctor sees me every few weeks. he sent me for a checkup at hospital 2 weeks ago where they took blood, did an internal examination, smear tests, felt my stomach, checked muscles in abdomen and my back and did a general weight, height and bloodpressure check. The doctor rang me last week and said that all results were back and that I was fine in every area, that my BMI was fine - everything fine. he then asked me to book an appoitment to discuss my partners eating problems - (long story short DP doesn't think he has a problem, doctor agreed to monitor but not intervene to put my mind at rest).

I went in for appointment and he asked for an update on DP. I ran through this and that was when he looked at my stomach (which isn't even visible when Im sitting down) and said the sentence mentioned in OP. As already described i didn't storm but calmly said I thought it was appalling that he didn't word any concerns he might have more appropriately. He rolled his eyes, turned to his PC and said "Typical teenagers". As already mentioned I then calmly left. If anyone thinks this is untrue then I feel a little sorry that they have such a naive view of the world. As other posters have mentioned there are arseholes in every proffesion. Anyone who thinks he meant in a medical way has clearly not understood that 2 weeks previous I had a detailed and incredibly thorough health check with particular attention paid to checking for any post pregnancy complications. I also would like to state that I do not have PND.

I hope this clears up any of the questions and judgemental remarks made by those of you who cry troll whenever you read something you disagree with. To those who have been supportive or who have disagreed in a non insulting and mature manner thanks very much!!

Your GP seems to have some conflicting issues there BBB - if he had asked you in to discuss your partner's eating issues, and had previously seen your results and that they were all fine, what on earth was he commenting on? Strange man. Do send a note in, not a complaint as such, more an awareness thing, that he shouldn't be so dismissively patronising to younger patients as it's poor professional practice.

Anyway - do you have to see him again re. your partner or is there another GP you can see instead?

Ya still nbu. As per usual people cry troll instead of reporting to hq If they think there's a prob. With all the people commenting on their own gp foot in mouth syndrome you'd think your story was just as believable as everyone elses. I wouldn't complain but id go see a different gp about your partners problems.

Thumbwitch: I rang the practice this morning, explained that I'd had a misuderstanding - please note readers not offensive, stroppy etc - with my usual GP and that he was monitoring a quite serious issue. she is getting one of the senior doctors to ring me back about the possibility of his taking over our family's healthcare and the DP issue.

also would like to say that having re-read I'm really sorry that so many ladies have had horrible experiences with GPs. x

BBB - that sounds better, hope you get some useful help for your DP out of it. :)

This thread is nuts! The GP was tactless. You could shrug it off as yet another doctor with no bedside manner and forget about it. You could change GP. No big deal really.

I have struggled with my weight and you have to get used to dealing with it. Every arsehole thinks they are entitled to put you down.

Thanks for your description of events bullybeef, but something does not make sense.
If you are thin and have no visible stomach then he cannot possibly have been talking about your stomach so you are out of order presuming he was.
Also "snapping back" is not a term I have ever heard in medicine ever and I am a Doctor.
I would presume it would refer to the general situation in the family or you misunderstood and should have clarified.
Because it just doesn't make sense.