Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell snotface doctor to fannythefanny off!

125 replies

BullyBeefBadgers · 29/09/2011 14:03

at appointment yesterday to discuss completely unrelated problem the (male) doctor looked at me and said "I am concerned that after 5 months and at your age that you haven't snapped back yet" My response: ShockShockShock.

I promptly picked up DD, stood up, told him that I was appalled and stalked out. I really wanted to shove his stethoscope where the sun don't shine. I am not even overweight. I have put on 1 stone since pregnancy which hasn't gone yet but I am not massive! Clinically, medically, scientifically and technically I am not overweight! Yes I am 21 and many women at my age ping back after childbirth without any problems but I was ill with appendicitus 3 weeks after having DD and so haven't been as active as some.

Please tell me that hes an utter wankstain or have I got this totally wrong!?

OP posts:
MuthaInsuperior · 29/09/2011 14:05

Were you discussing your weight with him at the time?

HandMini · 29/09/2011 14:06

You should have asked him (tersely) what his "concern" is, since you are not overweight.

Don't walk out on comments like that, you need to tackle them!

Congratulations on your small baby, mine is 4 months, and I certainly haven't "snapped" anywhere since!

worraliberty · 29/09/2011 14:06

You've got it totally wrong

He's a medical professional and if has concerns, you should listen to them instead of putting vanity first.

5littleducks · 29/09/2011 14:06

I think you were possibly being a little OTT in your reaction. If you are not overweight, BMI in healthy range etc then don't worry about it. Is it possible that it was relevant in a roundabout kind of way? eg. I could see that it would be relevant to PND for instance.

CombineArvester · 29/09/2011 14:07

Was the completely unrelated problem to do with your abdomen in any way at all?

Original poster
BullyBeefBadgers · 29/09/2011 14:08

No MI I was discussing my partner's eating disorder so hugely insensitive and really unrelated. He just turned around in his chair and said it!

OP posts:
worraliberty · 29/09/2011 14:08

And anyway, 'snapping back' has nothing to do with weight.

You could still be overweight but snapped back completely.

MiseryBusiness · 29/09/2011 14:08

YANBU! Shock

I was 20 when I had DD1 and I put on 4 stone! Took me 1 1/2 years to get back into a size 8.
I still have a stomach like an elephants backside.

Took even longer to 'snap back' after DD2

That Doctor would have got the back of my hand or maybe I would have just cried

worraliberty · 29/09/2011 14:11

Would you feel the same way if you were discussing something different and he said he thinks you may have a cancerous mole? Confused

CombineArvester · 29/09/2011 14:12

Odd thing for him to say then. Love your very mature 'I am appalled' response. At 21 I would have sat there blushing then cried all the way home. Now I would become enraged and swear and get myself banned from the doctors

becstarsky · 29/09/2011 14:14

If he knows that you had abdominal surgery for appendicitis after childbirth, and you're not overweight, and he thought that your abdomen was protruding, then his concerns are reasonable, surely?

Perhaps during a conversation about partner's eating disorder was hardly best time to mention it, but he wouldn't have mentioned for any reason other than towards your medical care. He's not thinking of dating you, he has no interest in what you look like, he's just interested in whether you're ill or not. And a protruding abdomen is worth checking out, especially if as you say, you're not overweight.

worraliberty · 29/09/2011 14:18

You could be suffering from Diastasis Recti (abdominal separation) or any one of a number of post pregnancy conditions.

minouminou · 29/09/2011 14:22

It may be diastasis rectii, which is when your abdominal muscles separate to accommodate the bump and don't knit back together properly. It can affect your core strength and back muscles long term. This is without the appendectomy, which might affect muscles lower down (I think....don't quote me).

Swallow your pride and go and face the tactless but well-meaning guy again - he could be doing you a massive favour.

helpmabob · 29/09/2011 14:26

hi can someone explain a bit more about Diastasis Recti. How would you know if you have it and can it/should it be fixed?

AbbyAbsinthe · 29/09/2011 14:29

I think this is completely insensitive. I can't believe how many people are saying that he was reasonable to say this to you Shock

Some years ago, I went to my GP a few months after the birth of ds, with PND. He told me that I was depressed because I was too fat. Ds was 10lb 5, and it was 3 months after his birth... I was so upset, I can still remember it now, 7 years later.

I changed practices because of it.

worraliberty · 29/09/2011 14:33

He's a Dr for goodness sake, how is he being insensitive by doing his job?

He has a medical concern about one of his patients...what was he supposed to do, dress it up with candles and soft music? Confused

helpmabob there's quite a bit of info on Google, I don't know too much about it I'm afraid.

MerryMagdalene · 29/09/2011 14:35

What did he mean? You should go back and ask him what his concerns' are.

hmc · 29/09/2011 14:36

YABU!

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 29/09/2011 14:36

For some reason I thought you were referring to your pelvic floor Shock

hmc · 29/09/2011 14:36

Sorry! i meant YANBU

Original poster
BullyBeefBadgers · 29/09/2011 14:40

I never had surgery for the appendicitus, it was felt it was too soon after having a baby to operate and it eventually turned out to be a severe infection. Which is now gone. I don't have Diastasis Recti - they checked for that when I went in for my follow up at hospital 2 weeks ago to keep a check on infection etc. He has all the notes about this so knows that I don't have it. i am still a size ten, look slim, just have a bit of a tummy. Its not what you would call protruding just not flat as a sheet. TBH his tone of voice was not excactly proffesional either and he's always been a bit odd.

OP posts:
minouminou · 29/09/2011 14:40

That's awful, AbbyA, but OP has said she's not overweight - we're trying to work out if he thinks there's a problem other than her weight that can be helped by physiotherapy etc.

We're reading between the lines here, and may be miles off, but we can only work with the info we've got and likely scenarios.

gaaagh · 29/09/2011 14:41

He's a medical professional and if has concerns, you should listen to them instead of putting vanity first.

Christ. Pouting about how "apalled" you are doesn't exempt him from having to raise concerns with you. He could have been talking about muscle problems after your DC, or referring to some other medically sound concern. Hence why he's being paid to ensure that your health is looked after and anything that makes him uncomfortable is flagged as worthy of discussion.

He has no interest in what you look like, ffs.

I'm the first to admit that some medical staff cross the line when it comes to what's appropriate, or sensitive, but in this case I see nothing that would warrent such a childish (yes, childish - you should have stayed to query his concerns to find out if they had any foundation) reaction.

gaaagh · 29/09/2011 14:42

don't have Diastasis Recti - they checked for that
TBH his tone of voice was not excactly proffesional either
he's always been a bit odd.

None of which was in OP.

minouminou · 29/09/2011 14:43

OK, BBB, fair enough. Is it your lower abs that are not as flat as they used to be? Might still be worth going to see him again and see if he's got an exercise plan for you.

He does sound like he's got foot-in-gob syndrome, but he's trying to help.