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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he shouldn't have been in the girls changing rooms at swimming.

121 replies

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 28/09/2011 20:49

No, its not what you think. I have argued on threads that children up to the age of about 8 or 9 should be allowed in opposite sex changing rooms but this was astounding.

Ds has a swimming lesson in a secondary school pool. The changing rooms are completeley communal with no cubicles as are many school pools.

A little girl was in there with her nan and GRANDAD both helping her to get changed.

Usually the teacher of the little ones is in there at that time as her classes finish for the night then but tonight she stayed doing stuff by the pool (she gets in the pool with the little ones) still there were children form the age of about 10-13 getting changed.

What was he thinking - and why did none of us mums challenge him? Too wuss I guess.

OP posts:
Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 20:52

Depends if he was minding his own innocent business or looking around etc....probably harmless really.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 28/09/2011 20:52

The changing rooms are communal and you were worried because an adult male was in there? Not sure what the problem is, as clearly the changing room was full of adult females (mums) just because he's a man doesnt mean he is a sex pest.

JLK2 · 28/09/2011 20:53

Were they the only adults in there?

marykat2004 · 28/09/2011 20:55

please clarify, the grandad was in the women's changing room? Surely that isn't right.

At our local pool, opposite sex children go in the changing room of the parent they are with. I haven't seen the men's changing room, but DH has told me they have a separate area for the fathers with daughters, because obviously daughters don't want to see naked men and vice versa.

Likewise boys up to age 8 use the women's changing area with the mums.

StrandedBear · 28/09/2011 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSnow · 28/09/2011 20:56

By communal do you mean, for both sexes? If so YABVU.

Poor grandad. Not everyone is a sex offender.

kelly2000 · 28/09/2011 20:57

When you say cmmunal do you mean single sex and communal or mixed sex, it is just that you say DS and then talk about a little girl. If it is single sex changing rooms then he should not be there, I would be pissed off if I was in a communal changing room and some guy walked in.
I would tell the school you are not happy with men being in the girls changing rooms.

VelvetSnow · 28/09/2011 20:57

I don't understand what you mean by communal, sorry.

Surely the changing rooms are one for females and one for males?

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 28/09/2011 20:57

Was he in the female communal changing room?

Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 20:57

Its a secondary school pool, why would it be the womens changing room?

NoCarbsBeforeMarbs · 28/09/2011 20:58

DD is 12 (with boobs and periods) and would be mortified to be changing in front of a man.

Pest or not, he shouldn't have been there imo, girls are entitled to privacy when changing.

griphook · 28/09/2011 20:58

I've read this three times and don't understand the problem, if communal, then he had as much right as you.

you could be a sex offender, just as much as he could.

squeakytoy · 28/09/2011 20:58

ffs... he was helping his grandchild get changed, so unless he was gawping at everyone else, then what are you trying to accuse him of?

kelly2000 · 28/09/2011 20:59

So when we have single sex changing rooms what this means is men can go into the female changing rooms so long as they are not sex offenders. Right.

Inertia · 28/09/2011 21:00

Communal for everyone, or communal for females?

Of course he shouldn't have been in the female changing room. Wouldn't need an aggressive challenge though - just a smile and explanation along the lines of sorry, he's obviously misunderstood how the changing rooms work here, but this is female changing not family changing.

NoCarbsBeforeMarbs · 28/09/2011 21:00

I don't understand the communal bit actually. Surely there is a female and male bit?

Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 21:00

girls are entitled to privacy when changing. - then so are boys and grandads

Birdsgottafly · 28/09/2011 21:01

Ideally he shouldn't have been in there, but perhaps the GM had arthritic fingers and couldn't do buttons etc?

If i was in there with my 13 year old i would have told him to leave, tbh.

I would blame the lack of family changing rooms, though, not individuals, so would be polite. It obviously didn't bother anyone that much.

griphook · 28/09/2011 21:02

the op said completely communal changing room, ie both gender using them. So op was bu,

If single sex them of course he shouldn't have been in there, grandad was bvu, and someone should have asked him to leave.

Depends on the word completetly communal

Birdsgottafly · 28/09/2011 21:02

I think the OP means communal, as in, open plan, but still same gender.

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 28/09/2011 21:02

School pool - two changing rooms one for girls one for boys children up the age of 8 years allowed in opposite sex changing room with a parent.

Grandad was in trhe girls changing room - when I say communal I mean no cubicles just benches and pegs not mixed sex (sorry I used the wrong term) i

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 28/09/2011 21:03

squekytoy, she is accusing him of being a man in the girls changing rooms (I assumed it was all female communal) I think. Are you happy being naked in front of strange men in the female changing room, or is it just children who have to put up with being naked in front of strangers of the opposite sex.
When they have a female sign at loos and changing rooms, they do not mean female and non-sex offenders.

Hulababy · 28/09/2011 21:03

I assume you mean a communal female changing room. If so, then yanbu. The grandad should not have been in the female changing room.

As you say there are no cubicles then I assume you definitely aren't refeering to communal changing facilities for all genders.

chicletteeth · 28/09/2011 21:03

A man was in communal dressing room...have I got that right?

I don't get it (if I have in fact got that right)

squeakytoy · 28/09/2011 21:03

At 13 I would have been mortified at getting changed in front of anyone, regardless of their age. Surely there are some private facilities too for those who want them?