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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't have been in the girls changing rooms at swimming.

121 replies

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 28/09/2011 20:49

No, its not what you think. I have argued on threads that children up to the age of about 8 or 9 should be allowed in opposite sex changing rooms but this was astounding.

Ds has a swimming lesson in a secondary school pool. The changing rooms are completeley communal with no cubicles as are many school pools.

A little girl was in there with her nan and GRANDAD both helping her to get changed.

Usually the teacher of the little ones is in there at that time as her classes finish for the night then but tonight she stayed doing stuff by the pool (she gets in the pool with the little ones) still there were children form the age of about 10-13 getting changed.

What was he thinking - and why did none of us mums challenge him? Too wuss I guess.

OP posts:
Inertia · 28/09/2011 21:04

Squeaky, it's not an issue of accusing him of anything. They were probably GPs helping out who didn't know the changing room layout. But adolescent girls would generally not feel comfortable changing in front of any adult male stranger.

borderslass · 28/09/2011 21:05

We only have one changing room in our pool although it also has a communal male and female room, family room and 2 disabled changing rooms.

pigletmania · 28/09/2011 21:05

YANBU at all. The grandad should not have been in a female changing room.

VelvetSnow · 28/09/2011 21:05

Ok, so you took ds into the female changing room (assuming your ds is under 8 yrs old?)

Agree with Birdsgottafly re GM needing help, it's not an ideal situation, I'm not sure whether I'd say something but I certainly would not be nasty.

kelly2000 · 28/09/2011 21:06

littlemiss,
he was out of line being in the girls changing room. Tell the school you are not happy with this, and ask if they could make sure parents realise that people of the opposite sex cannot go into the other changing rooms.

IreneHeron · 28/09/2011 21:06

No, he shouldn't have been there. It isn't fair on girls that age, they can be very sensitive about their bodies.

griphook · 28/09/2011 21:06

After reading last post yanbu at all, Grandad shouldn't have been in there, and I think that next time if someone should gently ask him to leave, but offer to support nan if needed

Original poster
LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 28/09/2011 21:06

Ds is 7 so was allowed in there. His grandaughter was aged about 5 or 6 so he could have taken her in the boys changing rooms if he needed to be the one to help but it seemed like nan was doing all the work and he was just chatting to them.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 28/09/2011 21:06

So you would all happily have your 13 year old DD strip, infront of a man that you didn't know?

Think about it and stop trying to be all 'right on'.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 28/09/2011 21:06

Oh, OK - if he was in the female communal changing room then I would not have been particularly happy. Did they think it was a family changing room perhaps?

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/09/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSnow · 28/09/2011 21:07

I would feel uncomfortable changing in front of anyone, school mate, teacher, anyone tbh.

Even now I wouldn't use a pool with a communal changing room.

chicletteeth · 28/09/2011 21:08

So he was in the female changing rooms then?

But little kids (she could have been eight) are allowed a parent in there to help them change?

What if it had been her dad? What would your reaction have been then?

ENormaSnob · 28/09/2011 21:08

Yanbu

pigletmania · 28/09/2011 21:08

They should have found a family room, or a cubicle or a disabled changing room if the grandma needed help.

pigletmania · 28/09/2011 21:09

The dad would have taken the girl to the mens changing rooms

squeakytoy · 28/09/2011 21:09

I agree, but I did think the OP meant communal as in "mixed".. which I know some pools have for schools.

I also think if we were talking about young children, ie under 8 or 9 it shouldnt be an issue, but I do agree that older girls, who will be mid-puberty do deserve some privacy, even from their peers if they wish for it too. I absolutely detested showers after PE at school when I was 12, as I had started my periods, had pubic hair, and was much more developed than most of my peers. I really did feel uncomfortable and felt it was an invasion of privacy to have to shower naked with a group of other girls. Maybe that was partly because I was an only child, but it really was something that upset me.

Allboxedin · 28/09/2011 21:09

Well if he was in a female changing area he shouldn't have been there.
Thanks for clarifying OP.
Naughty old man

PrincessScrumpy · 28/09/2011 21:10

Oh no a grandad caring for his granddaughter - shocking. he'd probably be embarrassed seeing a 12yo's boobs. this is if the communal changing rooms are mixed - if it's single sex then that is odd.

pigletmania · 28/09/2011 21:12

It is a single sex changing rooms that are what the op describes as communal meaning open plan, no private cubicles.

ginmakesitallok · 28/09/2011 21:12

YANBU at all - a grown man should NOT be in the female changing rooms. I would have asked him to leave to be honest

Ephiny · 28/09/2011 21:13

If it was designated a women's/girl's changing room then of course he shouldn't have been there. Could they have got confused and thought it was a mixed-gender area for children (maybe if they used to go to a different pool where that was the case?).

I think it would have been reasonable for someone to say something. Not to accuse him of any sinister motives, but to point out that he was in the wrong room!

TurkeyBurgerThing · 28/09/2011 21:13

Did he have a newspaper with eye holes cut in it? What about a beard and a bow tie? ALL paedos have beards and bow ties. I'd call the police right now if I were you! Disgusting behaviour.

MumblingRagDoll · 28/09/2011 21:13

I would have asked him to leave. So should you.

Original poster
LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 28/09/2011 21:14

I personally would never use a pool mnyself that didn't have cubicles but I do accept at a school (and it is the school the dc will go to) that changing facilities are different.

There are 3 different levels of lesson going on at any one time (Pool roped into sections ) so age of chilren changing starts at littles from about 3-6 years thought to about 12-13 years. There is a girl who looks older who I guess is not as advanced as her lesson is with the younger ones.

And as I said usually the toddlers teacher is changing at that time.

OP posts: