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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be sick of hearing how wonderful it it to have baby Harper after 3 boys

144 replies

oliandjoesmum · 28/09/2011 13:39

Beckham at it again today. Know am being petty, and sure will be told I shouldn't care, but as a Mum of 3 boys do hate this constant insistence in the Western World that girls rule and boys are devils spawn. It makes me feel sorry for the Beckham boys, like they have been sidelined. Feeling a bit personal about this one at the moment, sister having girl to provide my Mum with first granddaughter after 4 grandsons. Really quite fed up with conversations about how amazing it will be compared to having noisy/ never sit still/ crap clothes wearing/non ballet dancing/ non horse riding/ dirty/ raucous boys(mothers words - not mine!)

OP posts:

AuntiePickleBottom · 29/09/2011 23:56

I get sick and tired at the comments that I was lucky to have a dd and a ds, yes I am lucky that I have 2 children...... There gender did matter when I was having dd but only because I wanted another boy due to fear I wouldn't be able to connect with a daughter As I am a Tom boy at heart

midlandsmumof4 · 30/09/2011 00:20

I was very sad to be commisserated on the birth of my 4th boy-didn't matter to me -he was 10lb & very healthy. DH would have loved a girl though-that is not going to happen. We have two lovely grandsons tho.

itisnearlysummer · 30/09/2011 06:25

I have one of each. My DS is wonderful and I love him to bits but I was overjoyed when I was having a girl precisely because I now have one of each.

We don't treat them any differently - we provide similar opportunities for them both and they pursue those they are interested in. They have quite differing interests but DS has always been interested in sitting quietly and drawing, DD is far more interested in digging in the garden and kicking a ball around. But now I get to plait hair and I didn't do that before.

I would have been happy to have 2 boys or 2 girls, but I'm most happy to have one of each.

I don't think it matters.

Kayzr · 30/09/2011 07:09

I was talking to a friend about this who has 3 girls and a boy. She said she got more congratulations with her son than the girls. She says she is tempted to have a 5th so people stop saying she only had her 4th to get a boy.

4madboys · 30/09/2011 08:03

midlandsmum i got comiserations at my 4th son and indeed some family member said they were 'disapointed' when i had ds3 and then ds4!

i think if you have the opposite sex after having a few of the other you are going to get more congrats whatever way round it is, its just life tbh. doesnt make it any less irritating tho. i have been told i should try for another girl so dd isnt so outnumbered! i am done at 5 thanks very much and that would still be the case had she been boy no 5!

girlsyearapart · 30/09/2011 08:23

Yes it is most definitely the same the other way around!
I'm 30 weeks pg with dc4 my girls have just turned 4,3 and 14 months.
I have always said I wanted to have four and this is most definitely the last one.

Yet people have not stopped saying 'are you going to stop at 4 even if it's another girl?' WTF?
Like my lovely girls are a dress rehearsal for a boy?

'your husband must be desperate for a boy' err no actually.

I like the post about the person who felt like having a 5th just to show they hadn't been aiming for the opposite sex. I know exactly where she's coming from!

In all honesty I would prefer another girl if I had to choose.

lockets · 30/09/2011 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayzr · 30/09/2011 23:13

I have always wanted 4 and I think we will definitely stop at 4 even if I do have another 2 boys.

sweetkitty · 30/09/2011 23:22

I have 3 girls then a boy and get this all the time about how I can stop now I have got my boy. I had a mc before DD3 and nearly lost her too so she is my extra special one but the number of people who were so disappointed for me was shocking. DD2 is a boy anyway so I say I have 2 boys and 2 girls! I must admit now he's here I love having a boy he's just so different.

sweetkitty · 30/09/2011 23:23

Can I just say I am not tempted to have a fifth just to prove people wrong, sorry lockets I won't be copying you.

chipmonkey · 02/10/2011 22:12

I might have had a sixth, not to get another girl but because it's a nice even number!
However, I am too old and in any event, ended up with a hysterectomy this time so we are deffo done!

lockets · 02/10/2011 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 02/10/2011 22:17

i haven'[t heard anything but thats becuase i don't watch telly or read shite maazines

theres your answer

manicinsomniac · 02/10/2011 22:31

I also think it would be the same the other way around.

My friend has just had a 4th baby - first boy after 3 girls. When his 3rd was born he was gutted that it was another girl. Not because he doesn't love his girls but because he wanted both. Obviously he loves her to pieces now but when his wife got pregnant with number 4 both he and everybody we work with was delighted and excited to hear he was going to get his boy at last. If you're having multiple children I think it's totally natural to want both.

I also think it's ok to have a strong preference either way. Personally, I never intended to have children at all. I have 2 girls and, if either of them had been boys, I genuinely don't know if I'd have coped. That's nothing against boys at all, just that for me personally, given that I was already struggling with the idea of having a baby and how to relate to children at all, I despeately wanted girls - for reasons of familiarity, being a single mum and having very girly interests myself I think.

Henrythehappyhelicopter · 02/10/2011 22:47

It is the same the other way around. I thought boys were prized more highly because of the carrying on of the name.

I was delighted to experience a boy after my girls, and would have felt the same if I had had all boys and then a girl.

HalfTermHero · 02/10/2011 22:54

I just find it all a non story tbh. I have 3 girls and am expecting my fourth child. All I want is a healthy baby, delivered safely. I don't care less beyond that. I don't think that VB has really thought through the impact that her witterings about harper will have on her boys. I hope that they don't feel less valued, wanted or loved as a result of all the attention that the baby girl is getting.

40Weeks · 02/10/2011 23:09

I had my 3rd boy 7mo ago and the first thing my neighbour said to me was, "I bet you're disappointed you didn't get a girl aren't you" WTF, he was a few days old! How dare the old bag suggest I was disappointed with a beautiful healthy baby! People just don't think. My BF is expecting her first and is desperate for a girl and says she doesn't know what she'll do if it's a boy....er, why? WHATS WRONG WITH BOYS? Huff over

chipmonkey · 03/10/2011 21:59

I do wonder whether VB really witters on as much as the mags say she does, though. When interviewed, she seems pretty sensible and they do seem to be excellent parents.

jellybeans · 03/10/2011 23:16

'Though I feel very very content with two girls (we both are) and don't want to try for a boy. I guess this means I favour girls over boys slightly. Just being honest.'

I felt like that after my first 2. In part because people were so negative about boys (my parents-who had no sons), friends with boys-all 'desperate' for a girl. Also, I had really enjoyed my first two. I am (very)ashamed to say that I in a way felt 'sorry' for those with just boys. I guess I was a SMOG of sorts. I didn't care what gender my babies were but had no desire really for a boy. So I think for alot of SMOGs they just don't know what they would be 'missing' (not to say those without boys/girls miss out).

Fast forward several years, I also have 3 boys! am so glad I had them as I had no idea they were every bit as nice and enjoyable as girls. People who had been so negative shouldn't have been. I am often in hysterics with them and their crazy antics. I even love buying cute boys clothes and toys.

My other half was always very happy with our DDs but he did admit he was over the moon with a son and had secretly always hoped for one. Quite a few people used to make negative comments about him being desperate for a son or having low sperm count! (wtf?) It's been lovely for my parents, too, to see the joy in boys as much as girls.

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