To be sick of hearing how wonderful it it to have baby Harper after 3 boys

[oliandjoesmum]

Beckham at it again today. Know am being petty, and sure will be told I shouldn't care, but as a Mum of 3 boys do hate this constant insistence in the Western World that girls rule and boys are devils spawn. It makes me feel sorry for the Beckham boys, like they have been sidelined. Feeling a bit personal about this one at the moment, sister having girl to provide my Mum with first granddaughter after 4 grandsons. Really quite fed up with conversations about how amazing it will be compared to having noisy/ never sit still/ crap clothes wearing/non ballet dancing/ non horse riding/ dirty/ raucous boys(mothers words - not mine!)

And FWIW I would say that society shows a MASSIVE preference for boys at every stage thorughout their lives.

I agree MIFLAW, earlier OP who mentioned nutcracker, why coudn't you take a boy. And if he doesn't like it, pick something else.
A girl may not like the nutcracker either;I never did.

Well said MIFLAW.

And - whatever kind of baby / family you have, there will be a queue of people to make inane meaningless comments.

Ignore them.

Oli I absolutely agree; have 4 boys. Yes I wanted a girl if I could ahve chosen but only becuase we have a condition in the family that's more common in boys than girls: otherwise nah.

As it is ds4 is a he and I adore him and he has th same disorder it would seem (ASD) and I find my patience thins with people who care about gender when I;d give my eye teeth for the boys to be NT regardless of gender (I am not usually bitter but have my moments!)

A few hours or days post scan / birth I an understand of course, but expecting me to care beyond that- bog off.

I dod supect it's same other way round though- Dad had 3 girls and my Aunt phoned a day ebfore ds1 arrived to say make sure you give him a boy (WTF? Damn woman cursed me ) as if having ahd girls wasn't enough (though she and dad come from a family of 8 of weach where emals were nto a given so you'd think......)

Am laughing at my DH...
We have 1 DS and 11 weeks preg with second DC...

He says, "my nan would be over the moon if we had a girl, she had all sons (4), who had all sons (1, 1, 2) who have had all sons so far (BIL has one, DH has DS)"

I say "so if bump is a boy, do we try again for a girl?"

DH looks panicked and says "NO!"

I don't think society shows a massive perference for boys at all, and that is a subjective view, not my view as a mother of boys.

Lockets, would you have another to even it out? 5 is such an odd number, as is the three I have apparently

I think that some women want a daughter in case they become the MIL from hell don´t get on with their DIL(s)

I have one of each, dd is wonderful, I love having my little girl but jesus christ is she high maintainance, give me another ds anyday, he's positively angelic

And this is why people feel guilty for admitting any sort of feelings over having a girl or a boy. Check out the pregnancy boad if you want to see how unhappy people are when they get flamed for stating their legitimate feelings. I think it is very sad that so many people want there to be no difference at all between boys and girls. I was also a tomboy growing up, hated Barbie, refused to wear pink, loved getting muddy and playing football with the boys but there were some things where it was just me and my mum and they are still special memories years down the line.

I could take DS to see the Nutcracker and I probably will. I won't be dressing him up in a frilly dress though :o

DH was thinking of football, DIY etc. because that's what he likes doing and would appreciate doing it with his son. Of course he could do all those things with a daughter too but he was brought up in a very traditional West Indian home where girls (4 sisters) just didn't do that kind of thing and it wouldn't be the first thing that would pop into his head.

I read that as 3 months and 4 months

MIFLAW has it right. A child is just a child. I didn't have any brothers but DC2 was a boy and I just treated him as a baby / child in the same way that DD was.

DS is autistic so not "boyish-boisterous", in general, would use the computer for forty-eight twelve hours straight if left, but can be very hard work when frustrated / scared / confused, which happens regularly.

My dear old Granny had 7 boys!

I wonder if she got all that crap, imagine her being asked 'ooh are you going to try for a girl next'?

I haven't read the whole thread, so not sure if it is Beckham's comments or someone else's. However, having had 3 boys then a girl, I can guarantee it is more likely to be everyone else that is SO bothered about it, than the Beckhams themselves.

I do not go a day without someone commenting about how lovely it must be to have a girl finally, how I can stop now I have got my girl, what would you have done if it had been another boy? (Obviously taken him down to the river and drowned him a birth)

I didn't expect to have a girl - I don't think you possibly could after having 3 of the same sex. It is lovely, but only in the way it is lovely to have a new addition to the family, boy or girl. And I agree the comments would have been the same if it had been the other way round, however there is definitely a bias in society towards girls - boys are just seen as trouble and hard work, whereas girls prance around in princess costumes and sit down to concentrate on drawing (honestly!)

Flaming annoys me too.Even more annoying is the suggestion that "her brothers will be protective" how patronising.I had a girl after 3 boys and everyone said "oh she wont be able to have aboyfriend with 3 big brothers\2 I used to reply "i will be raising her to make her own decisions thankyou" Bloody cheek.

Chocolathaud, I used a similar comment in Sainsburys when I had my 3rd boy. After what seemed like 100th time someone said to me 'oooh, is it another boy, poor you, you have your hands full, are you going to try again etc etc' I replied 'don't worry, we are going to get him adopted next week and carry on trying for a girl'. Pathetic I know, but it does get on your t**s after a bit

AFAIK whatever gender or number of children you have your family will always be totally unique as far as personalities and relationships are concerned.

whatever you have your children are meant to be yours and yours alone

[gavel]

Oh and ds3 is a ballet dancer

I have 3 boys and one girl, I am delighted to have my daughter. I can't deny it, I am sure I'd feel the same the other way round

"I don't think society shows a massive perference for boys at all, and that is a subjective view, not my view as a mother of boys." Society LOVES little girls, it's true - as ornaments and dolls and accessories. I think it still expects boys to be the ones who grow up to DO stuff, though.