i'm losing my looks and i can't deal with it

[haventstillgotit]

i am nearly 32 with 2 dc

recently i have been looking in the mirror and hating what i see, i am starting to get wrinkles and am just looking generally shit and tired all the time despite having a healthy diet and luckily getting lots of sleep

sorry to sound big headed but i was very attractive in my 20's, i was a gawky teenager but when i got into my 20's i don't know what happened but i suddenly got a lot of male attention and people said i was pretty etc. i got with my dh when i was 26 and he used to get jealous because men would stare at me all the time, that doesnt happen now.

i'm thin and look ok-ish in clothes but shit without them but my ageing face lets me down anyway

i try my best to look nice but sometimes i think whats the point as i still look shit. feel pretty much invisible. my boobs are heading south and i have saggy skin and stretchmarks from the dc

thats it really. i know its only going to get worse and worse and there's nothing i can do.

Baby you're right - I was very attractive (apparently) when young but very shy and certainly quite unconfident too.

Was not til my 30s that i decided not to give a shit and got more confident.

I have never been gorgeous so feel I have an advantage over you in life OP. I have always 100% had to rely on my personality and people have liked me because of that! My wrinkles are not a problem, as no one judges me on my smooth skin!

I am fine as I am!

I completely agree with Flying Pirates

Everyone is more than what they look like !

What are you worried about on a deeper level? What do your looks signify that you are so scared of losing?

Youth? Attention? Love?

I'd figure that out as a starting point?

Also, plainer people usually have more developed personalities because they haven't been able to rely on looks to get them places in life, which attractive people often do, even though it's not intentional..

This made me laugh, probably too much! Was I plain? Was I attractive? Haven't a bloody clue, most people surely fall into the OK category - not stunning but not a face for radio either! I certainly was not a stunner and I feel I relied on my personality more than my looks but as time has gone by, I look around at others my age (nearly twice the age of the OP) and think I look damn good! For instance, I feel I look 20 years younger than one of my NDN's who is almost exactly the same age as me, she's almost shuffling around not caring.

I can't get over how some people (men included) let themselves go once they get to a certain age, slobbing around on the sofa watching telly, eating crap, blaming age for their midldle aged spread etc. I love Gogglebox but blimey a lot of them look like couch potatoes.

Yes, it is harder to keep fit or slim, I can't get over how the weight hangs around on me whatever I do and I really have to make myself do exercise, I just keep slogging away at it. I have a Fitbug that measures the steps I take so I can keep an eye on myself. Yes, I have days where I've been too inactive but it means I keep a check on myself over the week and make up for it on another day

Little details matter when you get older. My nails always look nice, I have my eyebrows threaded, I have my hair trimmed every 6 weeks and coloured when it needs it, I slap the moisturiser on all the time. Having DCs later in life means I have no choice but to keep at it, they wouldn't allow me to let myself go!

Sympathies.

I'm 34 and for the last couple of years my face has gone so thin! It really doesn't suit me. I'm doing ok on the wrinkle front, but the whole shape of my features has changed and I don't like how I look.

I comfort myself with thinking in 20 years I'll look back and wish I still looked like this!

I mourned my skin for a bit after a year of new baby sleeplessness.

Then I realised his skin is utterly perfect and when he's with me everyone is looking at him instead anyway

Pressed too soon!

So I realised I do have perfect skin to enjoy, it's just not on my body.

And if your husband thinks you're hot shit, who else is there to worry about?

I was incredibly gorgeous before I was pregnant with my DD.
My life is a hundred, million, billion times better now, and I am so much happier, more confident, and comfortable in my own skin.
I count my blessings every single day, and attractiveness (or not!) is not one of them.
I do things that make me feel good about myself - go for a run, head out to the woods with littlun - usually for me some form of movement cheers me up and puts me back in touch with my body.
And I realise that I spent my hottest years a mess of insecurity and never thinking I was good enough! I was bloody gorgeous and in 10 years time I'll look back at my now-self and think I was bloody gorgeous - can't change it either way anyway so I'm just enjoying it while it lasts, without using it as a measure of my self-worth.
I wouldn't go back to my really beautiful days if you paid me a billion quid. Happiness is worth so much more.

Your demeanour has a much larger bearing on how people perceive you than looks. There are plenty of attractive 20 somethings who repel people because of their bad attidtudes, sour grapes etc.