to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

As in my case and my mum's case, I/we had to/have to work in order to put food on the table but if money wasn't an issue, I definitely wouldn't go "out" to work for anyone else.

In the world of an 8 year old child the sandwich on the table and my mum being there (amongst other bonuses) when I got home from school was a big deal for me at the time, just one of the small things that stick in my mind about my schooldays. but probably because my sisters buggered off and did their own thing when they got home from school because they were that much older than me. If my mum didn't work however, we probably wouldn't have had holidays/nice Xmas presents etc. That would have probably stuck in my mind more.

You do what's best for your family, it's nobody else's business.

So shall we just change the thread title to Working mums are selfish, jealous bitches?

Why does it have to descend into this? If SAHMs feel disrespecetd or dismissed on MN what the hell are (some) of them doing viciously attacking or ridiculing other women for their choices.

Iliketherain - it is realy low to say you feel sorry for this mother's children.

No it is not is it my opinion......................A diary for gods sake I am truly sad about this comment and the way it was wrote in such a flippant way.

strictlovingmum nail on head! This thread make me :(

SAHM/WOHM niether is wrong and niether is more/less of a mum than the other ffs were all mums and were all doing what we think is best - its part of the job description of mother!

I just don't recognise most of this. I know only about two sahm and about two who work full time. Almost all the parents at DC school work and the playground is full of mums, dads, some grandparents every night, plays are attended by someone who lives the child and children all seem very happy. No problem!

Its not the SAHM bashing that gets me, I don't often see it. Its the single SAHMs that are the scum of the universe on this site, and even if they work, they get slated for putting there kids in childcare whilst they work. The only time I have seen SAHMs get a bashing is when they're having a pop at single SAHMs,and that's only because the single mums have to have benefits, instead of a husband to live off.

And don't get me started on the poor special needs bashing that goes on here!!!

I can't say I get upset at sweeping statements and generalisations, neither do I give a tiny rats ass if someone assumes what I do because of some pigeon hole title.

It does bug me that there's not enough of a live and let live attitude around, that gets me down a little. If other people's choices do not impact on your own, do not cost you anything, don't affect your life in any way I really don't understand the venom.

I've seen ALL kinds of mum be blasted on here and other sites. I've seen some real nastiness directed at working mums, just as I've seen it directed at SAHMs.... if you're confident you're doing what's best for you and yours, then MEH to what anyone else spouts.

IMO, you are not less of a woman, mother, person, being in either situation, lot of my friends and me have been in both of these scenarios, and appreciate how hard it can get in either one of them.
Less of a hard time given to each other on the subject and more support and understanding perhaps, would be a better thing all around.

I view having the option to stay at home as a luxury not a necessity.

I have worked out of home with kids, the kids were fine, it isn't that big a deal IMO.

A large reason I stay at home is that it is easier for me, but then I don't buy into the idea that women shouldn't do things for themselves sometimes. If I thought it was better all round for me to work then I would do that.

My friends encompass every variation from people like myself, swanning about to the gym and lunch etc to people who have really exciting and busy careers who work really long hours, and everything in between. All of the kids seem pretty happy, because they are loved and supported and looked after by people who care and have clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs.

We are different people with different lives with different kids in different homes in different countries with different wants and different needs. One arrangement is not going to work for all those variables.

That's what I always find morloth.

The kids are all fine. I'd better my bottom dollar that Xenia's kids are all lovely.
My DS's best bud has two working parents and is looked after by a nanny. He's a great kid and happy as larry. He is being raised differently to my DC but I wouldn't be arrogant enough to say it was inferior.

And what I would say is that his Mum is a leading surgeon at a leading children's hospital...so we should all be feckin' grateful that she is prepared to continue working and to have children.

Spot on Morloth.

i so dont get the vitriol spewed on this thread and the other one about sahm.

i just do what works for MY family, which is at the moment to stay at home, (three at school, two at home) my dp's job is shift work based and he has long, unpredictable hours, that would be impossible for me to work.

we decided when having children that one would stay at home, as i bfed that was me, my dp enjoys his work and i enjoy making sure the home/family life runs smoothly so he can work without having to worry about me and the kids. we each contribute in our own way to the family household. it is what works for us at the moment. when the kids are older (youngest 9mths) i may work, either part time or full time and dp would look to reduce his hours, or be a sahd.

in the meantime i am enjoying looking after my kids and when i get free time when the littlest starts pre-school i will be helping out more at the school, doing some volunteer work etc, i dont see that as any 'less' than going out to work. they both have their benefits and you just do what works for your own family?

i have friends who are sahm and friends that work either full time or part time, we dont scorn each others choices or make out that we are doing it 'right' we are all simply doing what works for our OWN families. its only in mn that i see all this sahm/wohm bashing (and in the press) the reality is that most of us dont care what other people do, as long as they are happy and it works for them!

Ilketherain - stop being disingenuous. You said it was the 'funniest' comment on here, now you are deeply sorry for the children? Make your mind up.
I think what is genuinely sad is women undermining and attacking each other in this unhelpful and spiteful way.

Funniest was said very much tongue in cheek.

sad I still stand by.

When her/his children are 30 and she/he tells them she read about their day to day life in diary form do you honestly think that is good parenting.

Mind you by the time they are 30 they will prob be long gone.

How the fuck do you know that?

I'm leaving this because you obviously have your own issues otherwise you would not make such hurtful, misinformed and vicious comments. Shame on you.

Just an opinion...................

iliketherain - you are totally out of order.

Sorry my mistake I thought it was a forum that we were allowed to discuss things on and if someone made a comment we could reply.

Iliketherain
I am a sahm and I find your attitude embarrassing.

I suspect that an adult reviewing his childhood at nursery will probably reflect far better on that than an adult realising that he spent his childhood with a judgemental and unpleasant parent

I agree Pagwatch.

So do tell me...........do you find reading about your childs life good parenting?

Surely I am not the only one who finds this sad and strange.

And if I am I would be amazed.

jesus iliketherain i am guessing that parents that use nurseries do ALSO spend time parenting their children, i know i did when ds1 went to nursery so i could finish my degree! YES i read what they wrote in his diary (it was very sweet actually with photos etc and i have put it with his baby book as a keepsake) but i still looked after him outside nursery hours, still bfed him, cuddled him to sleep, and did all the other things that parents do.

just because a child goes to nursery, even IF it is full time does not mean that you dont parent, and it most certainly is NOT bad parenting ffs.

oh and my ds1 is 12 and loves having his little nursery diary, he finds it hilarious that it lists the times of nappy changes and whether he had just weed or pooed etc it also talks about the children he played with, toys he liked etc etc and is a nice record of some of his baby/toddler moments.

Iliketherain

Unless you know the minutiae of someones life how can you possibly know how their time at nursery fits into the overall context of a childs life?

It is entirely possible for a child to be at nursery and be brought up in a home where they are surrounded with love and attention and entirely possible for a child to be at home all day and be broadly ignored.
Physical presence is not the onky indicator of an involved and loving parent.
To suggest that it is is crass