to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

I think if you have the stomach for being a full time mum they its neat and you should stay at home until they go to school.

I couldn't do it and become brain dead after a year so returned to work, with my second I was back full time after 5 weeks working. I didn't want to just be someone who pushed a push chair, I needed brain food.

I don't however understand these parents who never work when their children go to school. Don't they want to be something more than a mother?

I know what you mean slackers, got enraged by a comment from Xenia earlier.

YABU there are ignorant posts about SAHM and WOHM. I've seen posts saying SAHM are lazy but equally I've seen posts saying WOHM shouldn't bother to have kids if they're not going to spend any time with them.

Mothers seemed to be damned whatever they choose to do.

I don't care what other mothers do tbh

Jealous?

Um, no, not at all.

I couldn't care less what people think. I did what I needed to do. For years it was at home with tinies now it's working to bring in much needed cash. Most people are just trying to play the cards they have been dealt as well as possible.

are sahms actually just "someone who pushed a pushchair" though? Thats exceedingly narrow mnded and unsisterly unnecessary though.
I'm sure everyone does whats best for them at that time with these circumstances in life.
So why the need to snipe at others' choices?

Although the brain argument irritates me slightly (ie: I'm to clever to be at home)

Xenia is just a force of nature. I look forward to her posts now

I don't however understand these parents who never work when their children go to school. Don't they want to be something more than a mother?

Everyone is something more than a mother.

Do you only define that by employment?

Either way, why would anyone want their kids going to a child minder's home after school and all through the holidays instead of their own family home, if they didn't want or need them to?

I look around the school and some of the little mites are exhausted from breakfast club, followed by 6 hours of school and then after school club or the house of someone their parents have paid to feed and look after them.

Some parents choose this for their kids, some parents don't and some have no choice in the matter at all.

meh, there's about an equal amount of posts in each direction!

TBH I'm just sick of being accused of being jealous if I say that I think being a SAHM would be cr@p for everyone in my family, especially my child, I'm not jealous - I used to be a SAHM and it WAS CR@P! I'm sure it works for some, but I don't think its the best option for a lot of families, I'm really not just saying that because I'm secretly unhappy, I'm not I'm delighted to be back at work and DS is thriving so much more in this dynamic!

it annoying that any working mum's opinions about work/life/family balances are instantly invalidated and labelled jealousy rather than a valid contribution to the discussion! I don't mind so much if someone says "I wouldn't be a working mum because of X,Y &Z" - that's just an interesting insight into their views! the ones shouting "jealousy" really need to learn to form more interesting arguements for their side of the discussion!

usualsuspect Fri 23-Sep-11 19:49:42

I don't care what other mothers do tbh

Me neither

Iv'e been a SAHM and a WOHM

worra you have hit the nail on the head

please put this on the other thread

I just think anyone who comes on here and has such strong opinions (read prejudice) about someone else decision on child care really has more of an issue with self (and their own decisions) than with the person they are generalising about.

We all face different circumstances, have different priorities and really if it works for you and you are happy then so be it.

Just ignore - there is a hide button and this topic does have the whole 'red button' feel to it ...

I'm planning on getting a job when youngest is at school, or even at preschool if I find something that fits round pick-ups and drop-offs. We're pretty rural so local jobs will be limited money and I don't see the point of working to hand 3/4 of my wages over to the after-school club or a CM. I've never been a 'career' person, have only ever wanted a job that I find interesting and where the people are nice - otherwise you dread going in and life is miserable. Yes, I'm lucky in that we have that choice, but we are pretty skint most months and regularly limp towards payday (and don't get me started on what will happen when they cut child benefit!) - I probably could get a job now and we'd be slightly better off, but at the moment it's not a swap I want to make.

Anyway, this probably belongs on a different thread but I sort of agree that there are a few MNers that seem to take great pleasure in putting down SAHMs for whatever reason. They can fuck off in my opinion.

Lol I lost the will to live so early on in that thread floosie I can't be bothered to even read it

to be honest... i'm new to MN but have found that there is little support on this website... i have had some horrid responses to genuine questions and confusions.

Come on parents stick together and support one another instead

You also need to remember that as a damn you are in the minority so opinion may seem unbalanced. Especially if DC are at school, cos that us quite rare.

And those who question why anyone would subject their little mites to childcare induced exhaustion can fuck off in my opinion.

See? 2-way traffic - SAHMs can dish out the emotive criticism just as readily. Let's not be in any doubt of that.

Cheer up OP.

I'm a full time working mum and I think SAHMs do a great job. It's a wonderful thing to bring up your kids!

Equally, I think I do a decent job of bringing up my kid while working full time but it's just different. I do it a different way.

I have friends who are SAHM and sometimes I feel jealous of them when they are getting that amazing quality time when their kid is not tired and grouchy. And they feel jealous that I get to go to the loo on my own without a baby and I get to do lots of interesting adult things.

If I didn't financially need to work (and I am lucky to have a very interesting job) then I could quite easily have been an SAHM. I loved my job being taking care of my DS; it was hard but rewarding. And I might well be a SAHM in future if life works out that way.

So not everyone has a negative perception of SAHMs at all. As a friend of mine always says: I get to work for a boss I really love - how many people can say that?

If that was aimed at me Maisie you probably need to read it again as that was not what I said

While I have sometimes seen anti-WOHM sentiments in replies to posts, I can't remember ever seeing a thread specifically started to slag off WOHMs. Whereas anti-SAHM threads seem to be fair game these days!

The comments I hate are the 'I need to use my brain', 'I couldn't sing wheels on the bus all day', 'I wanted to make a contribution to society' etc ad nauseum.

Having just gone back to work part time I know how hard it is to find a job that fits in with family life, that pays enough for childcare etc. And how much harder it is to sort out childcare when you have no family around.

And this idea about going back to work when they are in school... I am already dreading DD1 starting school next year as I have no idea how we are going to cover school holidays. Plus, jobs for women in their late 30s who haven't worked for 5 years... Yeah, they're easy to come by these days! There was an admin job going at DD's preschool recently and there was practically a bunfight between an ex-accountant and an ex-solicitor to get it! Says it all really...

I applaud every SAHM who stays at home because they want to and really sympathise with those struggling to get back into work. It's really tough.

I don't see a lot of SAHM bashing. Do see a lot of "well why have kids if you don't want to raise them yourself" stuff though.

It's interesting how we're all reading the same threads but 'seeing' different comments.

Perhaps it's just the ones that touch a nerve or annoy us that stay in our heads? And they'll be different for everyone according to their situation?

Yes, that was aimed at you Worra

"I look around the school and some of the little mites are exhausted from breakfast club, followed by 6 hours of school and then after school club or the house of someone their parents have paid to feed and look after them"

Preceded by

"Either way, why would anyone want their kids going to a child minder's home after school and all through the holidays instead of their own family home, if they didn't want or need them to?"

Of course, you do then go onto say that whilst some people don't have any choice, some - horror - actually choose this for the child.

Fairly emotive stuff there

Sorry. A sahm!