to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

SAHM/WOHM is one of the Great MN Divides, both sides are as bad as each other, ignore.

Don't worry, be happy :)

whats so great about flogging yourself to death trying to do a job, bring up kids, run a home, walk the dogs etc etc

at the end of the day at least the SAHM knows her kids are well cared for. If you palm them off as much as poss, you cant possibly know that

OK, fair point. YANBU to be fucked off.

Fuck off with your " at least they're well cared for". You don't know that working parents' children aren't well cared for nor do you know that every SAHM is a great parent.

OP, out of interest is your child at school full time? Don't worry you're not opening yourself up to a stream of abuse (well not from me anyway), but surely the SAHM 'issue' is different depending on the age of your child.
Personally working when my kids 'work' is the option I have chosen and to be honest my career no longer exists. I consider myself a SAHM as I'm there when they are.

It's the insecure ones who are nastiest.

If you're truly confident that you're doing what is best for you and your family, be that returning to work or quitting a good career to stay at home, then you're unlikely to feel the urge to smother any doubts by criticising those who have chosen to do something gasp different to yourself.

I tell myself that every time my MIL decides to take offence that I'm not following every little piece of advice she gives me. "Oh, you're doing X,Y,Z are you? I didn't do that, and DH turned out fine. You married him." Sigh.

People are unique. Therefore families are unique. Obvious? Yes! So why then, is it so hard for some people to grasp that just because they feel their choices are best for their family, that it doesn't follow those same choices will be right for everyone else?

why don't you just post on the ot?

from what i read the discussion seemed balanced

Cheers BDSM.
I think i said what i feel upthere^. I really believe that everyone is doing what they think is right for their own circs.

I will apologise for being a bit selfish in my title and OP (i have now calmed down abit enough to realise it's not just my own situation that's being commented negatively on) - I should've said fucked off with all the negative comments over parenting choices. I try not to judge other's decision what right have they got to criticise mine?

I hate that people lack the imagination to see that other people have different lives and that their choices are just as valid.

And i hate that people spite shite at each other.

These are the only threads on which I tend to really lose my temper. I can't believe the criticisms from both sides. There are some really cruel things said.

FWIW, I'd be a crap SAHM - I find it really hard work - but the assumption that I palm my child off and that she is not well cared for is insulting.

Not to speak of shiting spite!

she spites shite shit at the sea shore

Not aimed at slackers.

I third that it's the insecure people who are nastiest - they want to validate their own decision by putting down yours.
I'm a SAHM. I don't give two hoots what other people do. All parents, bar the abusive, do what they feel is best for their kids given their circumstances.

There is a woman who usually posts on these threads who says that SAHMs are always miserable and so are their kids. I posted saying that I wasn't miserable and neither were my children and was told I was lying to myself! It didn't bother me I just found it amusing.

I think actually it's considered fine to accuse WOHMs of being jealous and insecure. Not the other way round. We are very clearly considered Unwomanly and Unmotherly.

Pagwatch wrote what I was trying to say, but more eloquently!

People are unique. Therefore families are unique. Therefore we make different choices. QED.

Oh look, I just solved the SAHM vs WOHM debate! Everyone all over the world can stop arguing. Hurrah!

If you're happy with your choices different views should not bother you. However if you're riled it's probably b ecause you've realised you could do better by your children if you pursued a proper career. In that case mumsnet is working and you are appreciating the moral and political wrong in opting out of paid work. Thus is my work done and I smile contented and go to my bed.

Spiting shite kind of works

I am a twat. I was a twat as a wohm and remain a twat as a sahm