to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

YANBU to be annoyed but 'don't let the buggers drag you down'! (I mean that just in a phrasey way-not calling actual posters a bugger!). I am a happy SAHM and they don't bother me, I just assume they (the slaters of SAHM) are jealous (subconsciously maybe for some) or worried they are doing the wrong thing. Why else would they do it? I just think that straight away or feel sorry that they are sucked in by the more shallow things in life and not what really matters. I was the same when i was working. Thinking of a better house, car etc. Nothing wrong with that of course but it doesn't matter to me so much now all that stuff. Usually of course it just went on bills and boring stuff. Difficult life events made me want to spend all the time possible with my kids. Think about it, why do they see something wrong with someone doing that makes them happy and what makes sense for their family? Why would they want you to pay someone else to look after your kids for a large part of the day when you are willing and able to do it yourself? Is it because they don't want to be the only ones doing that? Is it because they wouldn't feel so bad if nobody was at sports day etc. or collected their child from school? It makes me wonder..

Personally I think this is a perception thing I have been both a WOHM and a SAHM and whichever one I have been I have felt judged for doing so. Basically both WOHM and SAHM get flack.

I also think the media dont help. I have a theory that they have a dirty great load of slow news day tapes in a back office marked:

. Working mums are the bomb!
. Working mums are selfish booooo
. SAHMs have the right idea and are clever to have stayed at home, tick V G!
. SAHMs need to work or thier brains go all mushy boooo.

And they just eny meny miny mo..... stick that one on :)

Also I think they have lots of these on the BF vs FF fed debate :)

We all make our decisions/plans based on what is best for our families, its a shame there is so much bashing (in RL to). But I think its just one of those things, people feel they can comment on.

Whether you work your arse off or slob about at home or do what most of us do which is somewhere in the middle some fucker will moan about it .

Fuck em , ignore !

The end !

Sigh

Maisie that was in direct response Fabby's question.

Yes, some people do actually choose to work and that is their right is it not?

I don't see how me looking around the school and noticing that some of the little mites are exhausted by it, has anything to do with me apparently criticising anyone's choices.

It's simply a fact as I see it and that applies to the heavily cared for kids of all parents whether they 'choose' to work or whether they 'have' to.

But take it out of context if you like...as I said I genuinely don't give a shiny shite about the opinions of internet strangers.

exactly, sometimes you do see a poor "mite" who doesn't cope well with child care (as many love it!), but you're just as likely to see a poor "mite" that has a barking mad SAHM that does her darndest to socially cripple her "little friend" (and then see some who have an amazing time with their mum's at home to facilitate lots of play dates etc)

as someone who thinks ALL children are better off with the same home set up as you Worra, then are you not exactly the kind of person the OP was complaining about here?

Fabby.....Why bother posting on a thread where most are saying do whatever suits you?

How utterly sad that some people chose to ignore how good it is for children to have their mums around when they finish school.

How sad that some people feel that the only way to find some selfworth is through work

Op - who cares what some people say about sahm? It doesn't matter what they think - your children benefit fro
You being around and that's all that matters

I agree with everything you said there grumple apart from the last part.

I genuinely think parents should do what is right for them and their own families and stop worrying about what other's think of their choices.

Wildhairrunning. I am around for my dd when she finishes school. Every night I am there. The only difference is that she finishes at 5ish rather than 3.15.

Worra do you want to be in my new piss farters quiche

You're only allowed in if you absolutely refuse to validate yourself in any shape or form what so ever

Oh and she has been most deprived in those 2 hours - playing board games with friends, climbing on the play equipment, rollerskating in the playground, making up dance routines.

Honey I'm not even sure I can validate myself to me...so yeah ok then

Well, I usually collect my DC at 4.30pm, sometimes 5.30pm.

Including before school drop off, it's at least 2 hours a day less that I spend with my DC. Ten hours a week. Also, I miss the whole playground thing where you get to meet the mums of the DC in your child's class, and arrange play dates. I hate missing out on all that.

Been both over the years. In my experience SAHM is less stressful - so all I can think is that people are jealous when they post 'anti' comments.
Especially of SAHM with school age DC.

Worral I genuinely think parents should do what is right for them and their own families and stop worrying about what other's think of their choices.
Trouble is, many don't have a choice... My being SAHM was a million times better for all of us... But had to go back to work for ££, otherwise there would be no home to err.. stay at home in anyway.

I meant to add, that's where resentment and jealousy comes in!

Don't get cross. Both sides are as bad at mud-slinging as the other. People react to the words and it further polarises things.

In RL people don't give a toss.

I am a sahm, and I think that anti WOHM threads are equally offensive, if not more.

And to be honest, more than often sahm/wohm debates make me wish I worked out of the home 60 hrs a week.

I have been a part time working mum and am currently a SAHM. I justified the choices I made when working, DD is getting socialisation, I am earning and can contribute to the household expenses, my career is not stagnating (it was though as I took a much lower grade job because it was part-time). I am doing an important job etc etc. I felt guilty every time I dropped DD off at the childminders and wondered what it had come to when another woman was looking after my child and what the hell my own mum would have thought.

Job came to an end, no more money to fund the post (NHS).

Now I am a SAHM, I think I am doing the most important job and its the hardest job I have ever done. I worry about money, I worry about how I will ever get back into the workplace (DC 2 due in five weeks) especially in the current economic climate. I miss having my own money to contribute though i do have savings and we have dipped into them considerably. But, I reason, its only a small chunk out of my life, plenty of time to work when DCs are at school.

This are our choices. I have friends who work full time and their DC are in full time care. Their lives, their choices. Not for me to judge and it really pisses me off when I see it on here, anonymous voices , how I need to exercise my brain, need to do more than push a buggy, etc etc. Or the other way round, why have kids if you don't look after them yourself etc etc.
Would anybody do it to another mum's face??

Kitty, I too have done both, and yes, my life as a SAHM is infinitely better and less stressful than when I was working. TBH I don't think our marriage could've managed the stress much longer either, so we're all happier as a result. We're lucky as can afford to do this-and I DO count myself lucky. DH does too, as has a happy wife, and DC love happy mummy.

I do still have a toddler at home, but will not go back to former job, as too stressful, so will volunteer at school etc no doubt.

However, all this endless arguing on here over it, and all the gloaty "oh my brain needs to do something etc" ha ha ha. You have no idea of the immensity of the fucks I do not give :o

I think the main issue here is lack of understanding on both sides. People make choices which are right for their family. Some want to work or have to work for whatever reason. Other sahm through choice or for other reasons.
Why can't people accept other choices and stop criticising?

Oh FFS... I get pissed off reading all the utter shit spouted about working mothers fucking everywhere. And it's all aimed at mothers, not parents. Just the same as the stuff about SAHMs. Not much said about SAHDs.

So, YABU to think SAHM's are being unfairly treated.

my AIBU was not whether I think they are fairly treated.