to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

Just like sneering 'precious moments' is putting those things in a belittling box, because to admit that you really may miss out (but feel perfectly happy with what you gain in return) then you lose.

and my common sense tells me youre way off the mark,dr crane

but you see i didnt coin precious moments it was the housewifes at postnatal gp,doing the face and omg. i naturally leapt on it,as great descriptor

I think scottishmummy is right, you don't get people saying this stuff in real life because they'd never be brave enough, whereas on MN you can say contentious things and not worry about your friends hating you for it.

I don't work, I have two preschoolers of 4 and 1. I didn't go back to work after my second child and I'm delighted to be at home with them now. Once they're in school I will look to go back to work, hopefully retrain, but I can see why other women don't. I don't believe work has an intrinsic moral value, regardless of the job.

i havent missed anything
i had this planned.nursery booked 12wk pg
this is what we both planned and agreed

Yeah but that makes them twats, doesn't it? To use it to belittle someone's choice either way is fucking awful.

I don't give a shit if anyone feels they are missing out or not. Meh to that. I don't like the precious moments mama" stuff though because it just seems like rudeness played out on the screen because it would be impolite to say in public and its pretty dismissive of motherhood. Don't we all have "precious moments" with our kids, regardless of what we spend our days doing? There's no need for scorn.

I don't think it in RL. Have so many friends with great, interesting careers or not and I do not think about any of them shit you are missing out.

But comments on here are more likely to provoke.

Must be the effect of suspending the use of my brain for all these years while raising my kids then

not belittling straight social observation and verbatim account
no more belittling than people laughing at alpha mums at school gates on mn

off to bed

sm - will find out what you do yet

Lame defence, SM. As lame as some of those ducks that you are missing out on feeding. So, no precious moments for you, then?

It comes in waves, if it is upsetting you, best to just hide it.

Personally I rather enjoy them. I am very happy with my life and don't mind saying so. This upsets the sort of people who seem to want me to be bored, unfulfilled and brain dead.

I have done both SAHM is easier, much much easier. So I do that.

Again, never heard in RL of people anguishing about missing out on precious moments.
We all have precious moments with our children. And to be honest, I can't remember the first time baby walked, laughed etc .

I remember someone at baby group saying "i didn't have kids just to leave them with someone else" when I said I was going back to work.

I was shocked as that was exactly why I had the kids. DH and I sat down and discussed how concerned we were about whether out local nursery had enough work and took it from there.

This way I get to contribute to the economy twice. Tis

Porto because I have observed that insecure and envious people tend to criticise others more than most - but maybe Pag is right and they're just stupid.

the nursery staff keep diary and tell me of precious moments
i dont need to see every burp or wiggle

xenia-put a fucking sock in it cos you are really starting to get on my tits. Dearie.

gosh no one could come back from that searing précis
are you a writer?

If this is referencing the previous (full) sahm/wohm thread, then I can only say that some wohm (me :) ) thought it started off in a promising spirit of openess before descending into the usual bunfight

And as a wohm that thinks she might like to be a sahm and can see both sides of the debate clearly, I really don't get the point of all of this. As others have said, far more succinctly than I can after half a bottle of , different strokes for diff'rent folks, and all that.

Or, as I'm finding, different strokes at different times. I've been happily wohm for years, yet am suddenly (3 dcs in) rethinking it all. I'm just not sure any more.

But (critically) its not that I'm not sure what a bunch of MNetters think. I'm actually just not sure:

• What is best for dcs
• What is best for dh
• What is best for me
• What is best for our family
• What is best for our long term sanity
• How we balance all the conflicting demands and requirements

All this sniping is just noise.

I'm adding Kladdkaka and Morloth to my 'Wise Women of MN To Whom We Should Listen* and am off to hoick my bosom....

scottishmummy-who rattled your cage? was comment addressed to you-eh no? I simply cannot abide xenia and her we all have a moral obligation to work shite. Who the fuck is she to critisise my choices? couldnt give a flying feck about her high flying career or zillions in the bank. Butt the fuck out of other peoples lives.

youre funny in a really inarticulate way
are you being ironic

That's a really strange thing to write, sm! Nursery staff keep a diary? Well, erm, yes.. so do my nursery staff.. tends to say things like "2 soiled, 1 wet". The EYFS gives a bit more detail,, good for a gawk at the end of the year.. but I would presume you still manage to have moments with your kids that are precious to you outside of the essential info transmitted by nursery? No?

I have worked since dd was 5 months old. I am not lacking precious moments. My dd's teacher - who is fab - has much more influence over her than me at the mo. And that wouldn't be any different if I stayed home for the 5 years before hand or not.

scottishmummy-again why so nasty? my comments were not addressed to you. I am sure xenia is more than capable of speaking uo for herself. I am glad you find me amusing.