to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

franca my girlfriends work full time, part time, freelance and everyhting in between. As do DC's friend's parents.

And the DC all look happy and healthy and rounded to me. Not too much for anyone to start beating their breast over.

orm I think you'll find my paradigm is superior. Indeed anyone who doesn't follow it has unhappy and inferior children.

In fact I should franchise it...

catgirl yup, that's me too!

Xenia, some people think it's best for children to have a father that lives with them.

Guess it's a good job what's best for one kid won;t be best for another, eh?

:) piss isn't it a happy life not worrying about everyone else! :)

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a bit abnormal actually catgirl!

I don't feel guilty as a mother that I'm failing in some way.
I don't feel guilty as a wife that I should be out topping up the coffers.
I don't feel guilty when someone asks me what I do, I just say, " Oh gosh, I don't work!" and then laugh.
I don't care a jot if a friend works or doesn't work or works a bit or works all the time.
I am perfectly happy with my choices so I naively expect everyone else to be but sadly, a quick trawl on Mn of an evening disproves that theory rather rapidly!

Xenia's been on telly - yawn - Xenia used to write patronising shite in a shite paper - yawn - Xenia will ignore you if your children weren't educated at schools she approves of - yawn - Xenia thinks we are all thick as pigshit if you we earn less than £100K - yawn, she riles and antagonises perfectly intelligent and normal women who are doing their best whether they work, or stay at home (will any of us ever forget the 'bottom of the food chain' comment?)...seriously,why do we even acknowledge this troll? Because that is what she is. Why she hasn't been reported for insulting behaviour is beyond me.

I find it's the mums that work who are the ones that come up with sneaky comments like....'oooh you washed the bathmats today? You really must get a job'.....why?? Because I put my bathmats in the wash???

I'm happy at home, happy to look after my kids and have never given a hoot about anyone's opinion on this matter:)

Pissfart sounds like she's protesting too much!!

There is something wrong here piss :)

I work and yet - I don't mind in the slightest that you don't work - in fact I don't think it is any of my business at all if you work or not! And I don't think either one of us is right or better than the other! :)

Should we not be scratching each others eyes out and trading insults? :) As far as I can tell from mumsnet, we appear to be on different "sides" or something and it is meant to matter?

Perhaps we are both unwell to be so content with our own lives and unaffected by the lives of others? It can't be healthy

Eh?

I have all my kids at school and was a well paid professional.
If I didn't like not working, I'd get a job.

I genuinely don't get so much of the mother hand wringing and one upmanship on here. I think the pushy gene has passed me by.

Indeed catgirl.

My previous post was to callmemrs by the way!

oh good :) was worried for a minute you had mis-read my tone :)

Adaptability is what its about. I agree with Donhatme's post which said how illogical and daft it is to be anti SAH or work, because all it shows is an inability to adapt and be happy if life takes an unexpected turn. If a WOHM cant bear the idea of being home, then she's going to be miserable if something happens which prevents her working. And if a SAHM hates the idea of work (and a few posts on here have been of the 'work ? good grief no, my idea of hell on earth' ilk, then shes going to be miserable if life throw a curve ball and she needs to earn. These days people need to be far more flexible anyway, jobs for life don't exist much any more, men and women have more inter-changeable roles and the economy has gone to pot. I work and enjoy it, but am confident I would enjoy being home if things went pear-shape . So all the people who are defending their position to the hilt and saying that what others do is their idea of hell are not being so clever really

Riven, I thought her views on SAHMs and state schools were bad enough but that remark about SNs children is disgusting.

I have been earning my own money, either pt or ft for 26 years! In that time I have had about 1 year off (umemployed/ML). I still have another 22 years to go (unless they change retirement age soon - that will never happen ) I feel a bit knackered and resentful "having it all". But then I am sure DH would agree with that sentiment too.

But hey, DD is happy and wants to be a vet or a rock star when she grows up. No way has she been harmed in the making of our lives.

Your post provides a healthy dollop of realism Porto. The reality is, most people unless they are very moneyed (which itself can bring its problems) will NEED to have long working lives. I have a daughter and a son so both sides of this are important to me. I don't want my boy growing up believing his duty is to work full time for 50 years in a high enough earning job to keep a wife, kids, mortgage, bills. And neither do I want my girl to grow up feeling entitled to be kept by someone else working. Apart from anything else, both of them are quite clever and aspirational so they are likely to achieve similarl levels career wise.

And as you say portofino, families with working parents raise perfectly happy healthy children.

I am thick and dull.

Jesus Xenia, could you be more offensively up your own arse?

Children also do best statistically when they live with two parents but you always seem to ignore those particular facts.

Hmmmmm I smell shite!

You can be clever but also very dull and ignorant

Xenia......I thought in RL you had something to do with human rights, do you save your morality just for your work?

Disgusting, vile and offensive woman. (And hugely uninformed)

I now take back any respect I may have misguidedly put your way.

You have equated being a parent of a child with SN as a dull conversationalist, that makes you a wanker.

Xenia, you continually say that women who SAH are vulnerable and end up poor on divorce.

Your ex husband wasn't left very vulnerable when you had to give him a £900K divorce settlement, was he?

And that info was three clicks away. Xenia likes to tart herself and her views round the media.

I like to have a debate like anyone else.

But Xenias remarks about SN children have appalled me.

Is there anyway you can post a poster on ignore here so so cannot read their rubbish.?

pissfart.....and not forgetting he took all the savings as well.......She did all the HARD work and I bet he is laughing.

Yes but the vast majority of women don't have husbands who are top flight lawyers do they?

Whatever you think about Xenia, the fact remains that upon divorce and seperation women are very often left in difficult positions both financially and in terms of no longer having any child care or help from their ex. The stats back this up. Every divorce lawyer in the country will back it up. The CSA will back it up. Hell, go to the relationships section of MN for back up.

A few people who have done nicely out of divorce do not buck this trend.

Women upon divorce or seperation usually find themselves with insufficient funds to run a home and look after their children. They look for work, but if they have insufficient skills and no current or recent relevant work experience they find themselves in low paid work or unemployed. This was one of the primary driving factors for the introduction of the first family tax credit system.

Now we could talk about feckless men playing their part etc...but the fact remains.