I'll start by saying I haven't read most of the thread so apologies if I'm repeating anything that's already been said. My view, for what it's worth, is the whole 'working sets a good example' argument is a bit flawed IMO. My own mum was at home raising me and my DB until I started high school. I took for granted her presence at home when I was growing up, just because she was always there, so never really gave it a thought. Until she went out to work. That's when I noticed what she gave me growing up. After that, home was not the same place, and I hated the time between coming home from school, and her coming home from work. That's my personal experience, and not one that everyone else will have had.
Fast forward 20-odd years, and I have my own DD. I've not had the choice to stay at home but have been able to work part time since she was almost 9 mths old. I've tried to give her a good balance of time with me, and time with a lovely childminder while I work. At the age she is now (6) she has no understanding or appreciation that me working is setting any kind of example. All she knows is that she wants to be with me when I'm at work. All she knows is my presence is missing, when she wants it. I've explained how things work i.e. you work to earn money to pay bills, buy food, and all the nice things she has. She would still rather spend time with me, than me be at work. Maybe she'll learn to appreciate what I do more as she gets older. Maybe not. I don't honestly think the argument that working sets a good example holds much weight when your child just doesn't get it. I know my mum went out to work when she'd had enough of being at home, and also because we, as a family, needed the money. But, it didn't alter my feelings that the home without her there was not the same - it was a pretty miserable, bleak place at times, with my dad getting me to do all the cooking/cleaning and endless arguments with my brother. My mum was the difference and to me, what she brought me in my early years, was priceless.
The 'work setting a good example' argument for me, doesn't hold much weight as my mum didn't work for nearly 12 years, yet I've had a good 'work ethic' since well before I left school. I worked from aged 16, Left school at 18 and I've only ever had 3 weeks of unemployment at aged 18. I had the 'work ethic' instilled in me despite my mum being at home. What I think spurred me on was the good education I had (state not private), and the ambition I developed while gaining my education. I wasn't even that encouraged by my parents (have no real memory of that) but I just had a thirst for knowledge, and from that followed the ambition that's pushed me throughout my working life. I'm not a graduate, just worked from leaving school and worked my way up into a well paid job, so I've had 20 years working, apart from the 9 mths I had off on maternity.
My DD is thriving in the life I give her, despite the fact I went out to work when she was almost 9 mths. She's not always been happy with that but she's still had a good chunk of my time because I worked part time. Given that I'm also a single parent, I have always tried to maintain that balance for her benefit as I do feel it's important that we get lots of quality time together. I don't agree with the 'working sets a good example' argument that I guess is the reason for this thread. I think it's a far more complicated issue for children, and how they develop a good work ethic for their adulthood, than to simply say if you work, they'll 'get it' and want to work too. I didn't get my work ethic from that example from my mum, 'cos she didn't work for a large part of my childhood.