to be totally fucked off with the antisahm comments on here?

[slackers]

Wtaf are you only a good role model to your DC if you are in paid employment?
Why does someone only be valid in society if they earn?
Why should I work only to pay someone else do a job to look after my DC? wtaf is the logic in that?
ffs

mmmmmmm I like cake. I made some today Lemon drizzle cake.................I will have a slice later.

so have you got any spare wine for a fellow ,bottom of the food chain, poor, thicko?

I could always pop to the shops as I have time on my hands.......red or white?

Isnt it lovely to have time to have wine and cake in the afternoon

oh I'm not fussy

I will get both then, after all if the takeaway is bought we ain't got nuffin else to do.

Plenty of wine here :)

Oh, look. It's rush hour outside. I don't miss that much, either.

You mean you have already watched jeremy vile AND bought sausage rolls. My god you are good, you know if you tried really really hard, one day you might even get a job

I have only managed to pissfart

I can hear traffic in the far distance, but watching the children play is very nice.

Job?

Why would you want to do that? It would only cut into your pissfarting time.

Xenia dose not caught up in rush hour.......she lands on the top of her house in her helicopter..........cause she earns £200,000 a year and has an island......

A highflyer then, non?

I do attend my place of employment for 16 hours a week to have a socialize.

lets hope she visits her island soon

sHE PROBABLY DOES NOT HAVE THE TIME......................now I have plenty of time.

I have too much time. I have just made a Babybel bee for DD2.

I think one of the main problems with the eternal WOHM/SAHM debate is that there are a lot of people who can't tell the difference between a positive statement about someone's own circumstances and an attack on theirs.

So if I say "DS loves nursery and I think it has been good for his social development" some people don't hear "MY child loves HIS nursery and it has been good for HIM", they hear "No-one whose child does not attend nursery can possibly be socialised". And if a SAHM says "DD enjoys being with me and we have a close relationship" some people hear "Your relationship is rubbish and your child hates you".

And unfortunately when some people feel attacked they resort to ever greater hyperbole. So we finish up with the "won't someone think of the children" and "SAHMs don't have 2 braincells to rub together" nonsense. There is also then a tendency for people to react to extreme comments from one poster by indiscriminately attacking everyone else on that "side" of the debate. So if Xenia says that housewives have a low IQ, the rest of us WOHMS finish up on the receiving end of an emotive onslaught of "poor mites" type rhetoric. And if Iliketherain hits back by criticising the mothering skills of WOHMS, all the rest of the SAHMs are subjected to put-downs and sneering about their ambition and education.

If people would read what was actually written and respond to the person who wrote it, and not perform intricate mental gymnastics to extract an insult we would probably avoid a lot of the arguments.

A lot. Not all. Because unfortunately, while the vast majority of people genuinely don't give a monkeys what other people do with their children, there are a few zealots on both "sides". There is also a small but vocal minority who are clearly just spiteful and use whatever weapon they can to belittle others.

Good post, Kungfu. While we're harping on about Xenia, I seem to recall she mentioned the plan of her DH being a SAHP had been mooted at one stage, although this didn't happen.
Does this mean he'd have joined the bottom-feeding pond-dwellers - or does this only apply if the SAHP is female and not married to Xenia?

(I'm about to get in a car supposedly being sent for me to record a TV thing I think if they turn up; I don't think I've ever said what I earn and this thing is unpaid)

I'm making dinner whilst supervising DD2's homework. She's not paying me either. Could I have a bit of shock and awe too, please.

I should make it clear that I agree with some of Xenia's views on work ethic etc. What I don't agree with at all is her tendency to make derogatory sweeping statements about SAHMs. I am not even entirely sure she believes them herself - I don't think there is a great deal of difference in terms of intent or level of debate between Xenia saying SAHMs have a low IQ and one of the delibatory inflammatory anti-WOHM posters talking about baby farming or day orphanages.

It's just white noise on both sides and it unfortunately drowns out any reasoned discussion and any prospect of one side hearing what the other side is actually saying.

I agree kungfu.

In many respects I love hearing that there are women out there who work hard, are successful in their field and are parents. It's hugely important to have that perspective in the public realm. Xenia is great for this.

But I wish she wouldn't say SAHPs have low IQs. She must know this is just daft. And it takes away from what is often an otherwise highly positive message for working women.

You're spot on kungfu. WOHM/SAHM isn't the issue, it's the extreme views posted, from both sides, that cause the problems.

The extremists on both sides need to stop and realise that neither view is the correct one, and what suits one family, or child, will not suit another.

Also, it is perfectly possible to have a work ethic whilst being at home. I may not work, but in the past year I have bought (paid for myself) a 5 bedroom house and renovated it on my own. I don't actually sit around doing nothing all day.

i agree with xenia a lot,also think shes a sharp wind up merchant,and knows which lines to deliver to evoke a response

I actually think this is one of those issues where very few people actually believe the more extreme views they pedal. Particularly when they are clearly nonsense!

I am unlikely to be able to afford to return to work for the forseeable future after DS2 arrives. I have a couple of other ideas about what I might do but there are no guarantees they will work out. It may well be that I finish up a SAHM by default rather than choice. Does this mean my 2 degrees and professional qualifications evaporate? Does my IQ suddenly plummet? Or do I remain exactly the same person, intellectually, as I always was?

Hmm, let me think really hard about that one....