To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

Ninky

I identified a bit with you there! All jobs make me laugh. I work full time, and it's insane just how important things/people are perceived to be all the time. (I work as a graphic designer) At the end of the day, it's just stuff. And it's just ink of paper. And people still need shit, no matter how importantly they think of themselves. It's bizarre if you take a step back. You know?

Oh for heaven's sake, the op only asked a question! She wasn't rude , superior or insulting, so there is really no need to insult her. We all make our choices, but it's not a crime to wonder about other people's...not everything needs to be unpleasant folks!!

Poor people, what do they do all day?

Disabled people, what do they do all day?

Sorry, just asking an innocent question like the OP.

Ok I'm home now (so am now doing my SAHM bit for the afternoon - when my DC are here to appreciate it, see? ). I don't want to trawl through eleven pages, but had a quick skim and wanted to make a couple of points before I sign off.

Firstly, my question was about SAHMs who were at home without any children. I completely understand why anybody who is a full time carer needs to be at home - so why anybody feels the need to justify that on here, I don't understand. I also understand that not everyone can work even if they want to, for various reasons. All I was asking was what people do when they are at home all day once their children are at school, and why do they choose not to work.

I find it genuinely sad that some posters on here (can't remember names) think they're being boastful and 'smug' by saying that their husbands wouldn't want them to work, and that their job is to enable their husbands to do so! Personally I would find being a stepford wife nothing to brag about. Or have I walked into a timewarp?

Am leaving the thread now so feel free to bicker away - but be sure to get hubby's dinner on soon!

I think if you partake in conversations about washing up liquid it is probably a reflection of how interesting you are.

And if your job is the most interesting thing about you then you have my sympathy.

Each to their own. If we were all chasing 'school hours' jobs, many of us would be disappointed. Good luck to any SAHMs, I'm sure plenty have lots of things to keep them happy and sane.

Ah - there you go Auntie Monica - 'timewarp'

Full house now.

You must have misread.

Those of us with the husbands we support have the cleaners and gardeners so we can outsource the Stepfordness .

Ah drat, spiderslegs, I was just behind you with " Stepford wife*.

FT carers still have their kids at school- qualifies as 36 hours a week.

It's the bloody add ons that get it!

And the tiredness.

And yes Dh likes me being at home but he was fine when I worked as well (charity manager). But we used to fight a lot as we both ahd competing demands and palces to be, and shift systems and it was really quite horrid. And YY to making dinner too: he can't cook, except a really crap chilli anyway, and he washes up. Am OK with that balance!

What's the big deal? Plenty of people live in a way that doesn't make sense to otehr people- I can't get city living or horse ownership or... well lots of things. But if it's not actively harming me then- ?

PS Tesco now stock blackerry scented washing up liquid. Hmm, fruity fresh

spiders

and a Brucie Bonus for the 'Stepford Wife' reference!

This is the first thread I've read with people saying why they enjoy being a SAHM - so very encouraging as my contract has recently reduced from 20 to 5 hrs/week working in a school. Thanks to pagwatch for being so honest and saying that at first it did feel like a lack of something but when you decided to embrace it it felt fine (to paraphrase - on p.5) Also interesting to read posters saying how much less stressful it is compared to paid employment, how your children and family benefit, and all the interesting things you find to do - hadn't thought about shagging the gardener

I do have a pinny.
I wear it on Christmas .

I am pseudo Stepford.

I don't care how interesting your job is (and I have 2 PT, very well paid ones that I LOVE), I would not bother my arse if I didn't have to. I could find PLENTY to do.

Can't be bothered to enter this discussion yet again (very happy SAHM with school age child) but I often wonder how people like the OP will cope when they retire - do they see their self worth totally bound up with their earning capacity?

Totally agree re: volunteering - there are thousands of volunteers in this country - many of them organising activities for children of working parents .

What I find hard to imagine is how with an empty day in front of you how some people couldn't find a million and one ways to fill it.

I have so many plans of things I'll finally be able to do when the children are all at school but I know even then there just won't be enough time in those precious six hours a day.

I'm having lunch with friends at the weekend, arse most of them work FT. I had no idea they would find my endless fairy liquid monologues tedious. What will I talk about now? I have a stubborn stain on the carpet that I just can't shift, I wonder if that is stimulating enough?

Badtasteflump - I'm not cooking tonight, we're getting a take away.
Gay40 - are you so boring you have nothing better to do than to listen to other people's conversations?
FabbyChic - Yawn...

Excellent Auntie & Jilly we can all go to Pags gardener orgy to celebrate, I will bring mine but he will most certainly be assigned to the drawer of the short straw.

I find it genuinely sad that some posters on here (can't remember names) think they're being boastful and 'smug' by saying that their husbands wouldn't want them to work, and that their job is to enable their husbands to do so! Personally I would find being a stepford wife nothing to brag about. Or have I walked into a timewarp?

To me that says it all really. You seem to think that having a job defines you or makes you worthy. It really doesn't I'm afraid.

I know I'm a good person, I know I contribute to this world, my family and my community I just don't need a cheque at the end of each month with my name on it to remind me, Why should I?

I only read about half the thread, but I'm going to post anyway.

When I have children I would love to be a SAHM but unless we win the lottery I wont have that opportunity and if I think about it too much it upsets me.

The world needs all sorts of people doing all sorts of things to make it go round. As long as it's a mutual decision and the whole family are happy, I think it's a lovely thing to do.

Yes, to the women who are so proud that they are contributing to the home and would never be subservient to their husband - is your boss male or female?