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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are lying

181 replies

Fairyloo · 20/09/2011 09:38

Just read article about being a busy working mum (on back of new SJP film) won't in article are saying that they haven't had a uninterruped phonecall for years? And not had full nights sleep for years nor a bath!

Now I'm busy and tired but still manage a bath a full night sleep and an uninterrupted phone call.

Do you? Or is it really that busy

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 23/09/2011 14:42

That's why I only have 2, MrsBlarney. And why there is a 7 year age gap between them.

I have no idea of 4 under 8, nor do I want to - the idea fills me with horror.

WineOhWhy · 23/09/2011 16:11

Interesting debate.
I have a smilar kind of full on job as (I suspect) the writer of the article in the OP/the SJP character in the film AND I have regularly had a full night's sleep most nights since my youngest was about 6 months AND I can usually take a bath when I want ( we have a bit of a ritual on a Sunday evening where DC and I have a bath together then they get and and leave me to top up the tub with hot water and read my book) AND I can usually do a phonecall (including a work phone call) from home without interruption if I need to.
HOWEVER:

  1. I only have 2 DC who are very close in age (6 and 7.5)
  2. They have both always been extreme sleepers (probably genetic in that I like a good sleep myself as does DH)
  3. I have a nanny (when I am working from home in the day) and an extremely hands on DH both of whom are perfectly capable of distracting the DCs for long enough for me to have a bath or take a call.
  4. If I could not take a work phonecall from home I would probably have to spend more time in the office which would not be in anyone's interests. Hence, I have probably made more effort to get the DC to understand that I need to be able to close the door of my study at home from time to time than I would have done if my lifestyle was different.
  5. Neither DC has special needs.

overall, therefore, I don't really "get" the sentiment of the person in the article in the OP. However, if any of the above factors were different (e.g if my kids were a bigger spread of ages or were bad sleepers or one had SNs or I did not have some childcare or a supportive DC), I can see that it would be an entirely different kettle of fish. Hence, I would not judge anyone who did "get" the sentiment of the person in the OP.

lljkk · 23/09/2011 18:29

It's your lack of empathy that's upsetting, Abbey. I suspect your sister feels the same about you (nothing in common any more, too).

MrsBlarney · 23/09/2011 19:11

Well Abby you've been very honest there.

Wine has managed to put the same point across as I believe other posters may have been trying to make but in a very different manner - ie, without being condescending, patronising, dismissive or rude.

For which I am massively appreciative. It shows how it can and should be done.

discrete · 23/09/2011 19:52

I think childcare is a bit like housework.

Some of us have old, rambling and shambling 5 bedroom farmhouses full of nooks and crannies and that people are constantly tramping in and out of. Others have modern, hard floored two bedroom flats that are empty most of the day.

The former would probably say that keeping the house clean is incredibly hard work. The latter would say it's easy. Neither would be lying.

Yes, I could make my farmhouse easier to clean by removing some of the dust traps original features. But I feel that would compromise its character and would be a terrible thing to do.

As to who is luckier - well a modern two bedroom flat in London is probably worth at least as much as my old farmhouse. But I feel privileged to live in such a wonderful place in a house that's full of history (along with the spiderwebs).

It's still a bitch to clean though Wink

naturalbaby · 23/09/2011 22:58

give me 4 under 8's any day. the more the merrier. a bit of time every now and then to yourself is great and very much needed but i had kids for a reason and try very much not to complain that they want to spend time with me all day every day. some posts give the impression that children should be seen and not heard. as much as i grumble being woken up at 5:30am, the best part of my day was having a snoring 2yr old on one side of the bed and a snoring 7month old on the other.

loving discrete's post, am currently looking for a lovely old 5 bed farmhouse.

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