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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are lying

181 replies

Fairyloo · 20/09/2011 09:38

Just read article about being a busy working mum (on back of new SJP film) won't in article are saying that they haven't had a uninterruped phonecall for years? And not had full nights sleep for years nor a bath!

Now I'm busy and tired but still manage a bath a full night sleep and an uninterrupted phone call.

Do you? Or is it really that busy

OP posts:
MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 12:51

and I didn't say Oh poor me or anything like that.

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 12:53

I was complaining about being called a martyr though.

and I don't think saying it how it is is the same as complaining. Yes it can be fucking hard work but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just part of parenting.

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 12:54

Abby, genuine question: HOW did you just get your children to sleep right from the start? Did you do some kind of sleep training, were they just naturally comatose a lot of the time or did you just ignore them?
(I doubt the latter!)

Was there NEVER any hard work involved at any stage?

AbbyAbsinthe · 22/09/2011 13:16

Of course there was! Every time they got up, I put them back in their bed. Every time they cried, and didn't settle, I went in for 2 minutes and resettled them, and left. Over and over again.

I can remember dd having chicken pox, and stupidly, I used to get up in the night with her to watch a video because she was poorly. Once the chicken pox was over, she was in the 3 in the morning habit Hmm for a while - I can remember spending a whole night doing the back to bed thing, all night long. It was vile. But it worked in the end.

All of those things took hard work in the beginning, and sometimes, occasionally, things go wrong, of course. But mine are 13 and 6 now, so things are different.

Please don't think I was calling YOU a martyr. I base my opinion on my sister, who is never without one of her children attached to her. She doesn't have time for anyone or anything else in her life, and as a result, we're not very close any more because we don't have much in common. I don't want to constantly talk about children, or take the children out, and as I said, it's impossible to even have an uninterrupted phone call with her, ever, because she will not even leave the room to speak to someone else. It drives me senseless Grin

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 13:24

No no I understand.

I think really it's a case of me not wanting to go through all that, well not all at once...so I spread it out instead!

Stoirin · 22/09/2011 14:17

you realise, MrsBlarney, that you are not the only person on this thread? So why would you assume all comments are directed solely at you? Confused

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 16:01

Call me a narcissist.

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 16:10

Are you serious? Sorry, look it's because since 9.44 this morning, apart from a welcome comment from Zoggs, I am the only person you and Abby are talking to on this thread, and you've quoted me directly about my wriggling co sleeping child.

If you were talking about someone else's then forgive my presumptiousness

Stoirin · 22/09/2011 16:19

the posting is asynchronous, its not a direct person to person discussion. We are talking about the topic as a whole, not specifically to any one person.

Stoirin · 22/09/2011 16:20

and several pp mentioned co-sleeping, and having done it myself, they are all wriggly, ime.

naturalbaby · 22/09/2011 16:22

i've had 3 under 3, pregnant or breastfeeding without a break for over 4yrs now and am sure i've had a good handfull of proper nights sleep, a couple of quiet baths (if screaming kids downstairs with dh counts) and a few late night uninterrupted phonecalls.

i'm looking forward to the day when they're all sulky teenagers and we won't see them for the thick layer of dust in their bedrooms. or not actually, i don't think i'd have it any other way - i'd fill the house with pets to look after instead.

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 16:23

But as your comment was almost directly after my post, (in terms of chronological posts) is there any reason why you object to me responding to it?

I can appreciate that it could apply to anyone but why should my answer not be as valid as the next person's?

This is just silly.

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 16:25

PLUS if your martyr comment isn't directed at me, who is it directed at?

Abby's sister? (who has not, to my knowledge, complained or whined on this thread, so that wouldn't make sense)

Stoirin · 22/09/2011 16:34

you didn't just comment on my post, you defended yourself against it as if it was a direct slant on you. It wasn't.
These threads always go that way though, people can't seem to discuss the topic without being so personal.

AbbyAbsinthe · 22/09/2011 16:47

Whoah there, MrsBlarney. Stop taking everything so personally! This is debate, is it not?

I've never said anyone here is complaining. The whole thing is off the back of the OP - mothers implying that they're so taken up with their children that they don't even have time to have a pee in peace. Load of old bollocks imo. And if it isn't, then it's of your own making. That's the generic 'you', btw.

Zoggsrus · 22/09/2011 17:42

Excuse me, can I butt in?!
This is one of those threads were any criticism if parenting methods gets taken very personally.
I can see how this feels like an attack, because I feel defensive because I have a difficult child
Anyway, I've just come back from seeing the movie!!
Took my mil to get her away from the washing!

MrsBlarney · 22/09/2011 18:18
WibblyBibble · 22/09/2011 20:51

OK smuggers, try this one: I'm typing this between putting my nearly-2-year-old daughter into bed for the 8th time this evening. This is not something which I've suddenly started doing- she's been being put back when she gets up every evening for two months (since she realised she could get up, basically). If I have a bath now, it won't be in 'peace' because she's grumbling loud enough to hear from the bathroom. I can't put on loud music because unlike those of you who apparently live in detached mansions, I have neighbours who I try to be considerate of. I don't have a partner available to take a turn putting her back into bed because he dumped me to go off with a 21 year old (who's now dumped him, ha fucking ha). What exactly have I done wrong here? Should I have been beating her regularly from the age of 1? Should I have been giving her more gin? Is it my own fault because I followed NHS guidelines on breastfeeding until she was a year old, rather than feeding her irnbru in a bottle like you did with yours?

Interestingly to those of you who are playing the 'rod for your own back' spiel, I do have an older daughter. At this age, with her, when I was still married, I was able to have a bath in peace (I don't actually like baths, but anyway). This was largely because she stayed in bed once put to bed and read stories etc. Second daughter does not. Second daughter was also colicky while first was not- I expect you want to tell me how I did that too, because it couldn't possibly be genetic randomness, could it? So, wise smuggers, how exactly does your maternal determination hypothesis fit with two children bought up to identical discipline standards behaving differently? Could it possibly be that children are individuals and you're just speaking from a peaceful eddy in the genetic lottery? No, it must be because you're just so amazing, right?

Now, I don't actually agree that a posh woman with a nanny and a partner can't get a bath in peace, and I can certainly still cope with making phone calls, but could I just back up those who are asking you to pull your heads out of your backsides wrt single parents or parents with children who are not such easy sleepers? Or do you want to admit you're too thick to understand what you're talking about instead?

(Want to check my posting record so you know I'm not lying and spending 20 minutes on mumsnet every day when I could be having a bath? Go ahead, you'll see I post irregularly because of aforementioned life situation. I'm going to do the washing up and go to bed so I can get up at 6.)

Stoirin · 22/09/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

AnxiousElephant · 22/09/2011 23:11

Sorry I have to agree with storin!
You say you have been trying for 2 months to get dd2 to sleep and she is 2yo, that is my point. You bf until 1 (massive well done for that btw) but there has also been a huge gap inbetween to put her in her bed and use the put back technique. I also suspect that at some point you tried it but stopped before it worked and went back to it. DD2 learns rapidly that if she creates enough fuss then mum caves in - simple.

Oh and I also had different dds, dd1 slept from 3 months with persuasion using shhh, pat, cc. DD2 we did shh pat and cc at 7 months, she slept from 9 months.

TheBride · 23/09/2011 05:25

What's breastfeeding got to do with children who don't sleep?? Confused

Why do people think that all breastfeeders feed toddlers at night?

MrsBlarney · 23/09/2011 07:40

Stoirin I think your incredibly sweary post says more about you than the previous poster tbh...if you need to resort to personal attacks in a context as inane as this then I'd suggest there's something wrong with you.

FGS

MrsBlarney · 23/09/2011 07:42

Anxiouselephant, perhaps she would rather NOT do CC for two months? Has that occurred to you?

Not everyone thinks it's a legitimate, or desirable, way to 'teach' a child. And it took you two months so surely it's a bit crap to have a go at her for her method taking two months.

MrsBlarney · 23/09/2011 07:44

and don't be so blooming patronising. Even if the precious poster did make some cataclysmic mistake in her child's 'sleep training' it's not because she's stupid or something Hmm

Of course you always get it right first time though, whatever you do

honestly the word smug has never been more apt

I think you should apologise to her.

DontTellAnyonebut · 23/09/2011 08:04

Heart wibble

Storin you're oversharing comment is unpleasant.

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