To think they are lying

[Fairyloo]

Just read article about being a busy working mum (on back of new SJP film) won't in article are saying that they haven't had a uninterruped phonecall for years? And not had full nights sleep for years nor a bath!

Now I'm busy and tired but still manage a bath a full night sleep and an uninterrupted phone call.

Do you? Or is it really that busy

Of course it doesn't annoy anyone, don't be ridiculous. It was the comments about people who said their children/lives ARE fairly much as described in the OP being 'martyrs' or making their lives harder than they needed to (how exactly?? I just don't understand why anyone would TRY to have more difficult lives/children?) or are 'rubbish parents' that were very upsetting to some of us. Well, me anyway.

Thought this was meant to be a supportive site not a 'who can be the most dismissivea about other people's parenting troubles' sort of place. We get enough of that shit from non parents as it is

How strange. My children are 16 months old and 3 years but they go to bed at a childs bed time, usually 630 or 7pm and that gives me three or four hours to have a bath and still go to bed at a normal time?

Phone calls. I would make them whilst the youngest was having his lunch nap and would go in the the room from my eldest. At 3 you can leave the room surely

My nights are often broken. They rise about 6/630am. On a good night they've had their 12 hours, on bad nights we can be up 1 to 3 times with them. I would sy we get 3 full nights sleep a week. If I were a single parent that would be harder.

Don't get me wrong, its still very hard! However, I have a bath EVERY night 7pm ish.

had only read OP. Realised having read other responses that I may now be accused of being smug? I hope not as I am actually quite rubbish at a lot of the parenting lark, other than loving them to bits but I am lucky that they are both well and healthy so we do have strict bed times. Its not smug (for me) its essential for my sanity!!

Why can't people have a bath when their kids are in bed?

I agree with Sidalee, it is the luck of the draw I think, whether you get good sleepers although you can tinker round the edges with good routine. But in general, I think some kids sleep through, some don't, no matter what you do.

Mine sleep like logs for 11 or 12 hours a night and I am never smug about this, just bloody grateful every single day!

And I think if you've had a decent night's sleep, a lot of other things are easier to tackle

I have to say that even at 11 and 8 I have ever realy cracked the "don't interupt on the phone" thing. If I'm on to a client I have perfected the silent but terrifying glare which stops them dead in their tracks!

And I think the martyr comment wasn't that some parents like to have a martyr life, but that they like to moan more about how things are, even if they're not even that bad. We've all met people like that in all walks of life, not just parenting haven't we...the work colleague who is alawys moaning how much busier they are than you, the person who always feels iller than you, etc etc

But I wasn't being like that curry. i'm never usually like that either and if you want to check my posts I don't tend to 'whine' either. Thatwas just a horrible catty comment from someone who gets deleted a lot anyway.

I was just saying that the comments in the OP sounded realistic to me - albeit in a humorous, slightly exaggerated way - there has probably been the odd phone call, the odd sleepful night here and there but a lot of it is just like in the OP and that's fine, it's what children do..I didn't complain about it. I described how it is for me too.

as for having baths after they are in bed, i'm usually too bloody knackered because I haven't had enough sleep the night before (they sleep fairly well once asleep, but I share a bed with ds2 and he wriggles a lot) and also the bath is in ds1's room so it'd be really hard without waking him (it's an en suite). plus I'd probably fall asleep in it

All families are different. I do have a shower sometimes you know. Baths aren't something I've ever really got into since I was about 17 and it was the only private place in the house. I feel like I am wasting time in the bath - the time when they are asleep is far too precious, I need it for writing, thinking, and generally getting my head together (at least for the 10 minutes I can stay awake).

In my life there is NEVER any down time, I have at least one of them 24/7. That's quite difficult in terms of flexibility. Again - not whining but it's just how it is. i'm ok with that.

DC2 was an appalling sleeper for 3 years, but even then baths and phone calls were do-able and an occasional full nights sleep. Unless she has 6 month old sextuplets or something I don't believe it.

Agree that some mums seem to design their routines to make life extra-hard for themselves, I knew a few like that.

I think maybe it's a bit of an exaggeration for dramatic effect.
Personally, I completely understand where they are coming from, but not literally.
I really haven't had a good nights sleep for years.
DS would wake up a lot when he was little. Nothing major but just unbroken sleep. He sleeps much better now but still shouts for me or wakes up really early.
And wrt the bath, I wouldn't have the luxury time for the bath. But obviously when he goes to bed I could. But I choose not to spend my precious last 2 hours of the day that way
And everytime I pick up the phone he wants me, so important phone Calls are done when he is at nursery.
But dont forget some parents don't have the luxury of nursery

I don't think you can take it too literally but I completely get where they are coming from

Rubbish parenting....yep, guilty of that myself sometimes. Being a rubbish parent - totally different thing, and not what I said. Older kids bring their own new challenges, but even when mine were a lot younger I did manage some time to make phonecalls and have a bath.
I responded to initial post in quite a flip way, because the whole "don't know how she does it" thing is such a crock anyway

I really, really don't understand some of these posts. I try ever so hard to be empathetic, but it just smacks to me of making a fuss.

I've been a single parent twice for periods of a couple of years, AND worked full time, and I have never been in a position where I can't have a bath, or make a phone call, or get a night's sleep.

It's not just down to how lucky you are with your dc, and how well they sleep, although that's obviously a contributing factor - it's down to how you parent. Now I'm not saying one way is better than another way, but if you choose to allow your children to behave in that way, then you suffer the consequences.

I'm not smug - my kids can be little shits sometimes, as they all can - but I'm the adult, and I make the rules in my house.

Good for you.

Gloria I didn't mean you were like that at all. Sorry if I implied that.

I was trying to explain what I thought that poster meant by martyr. But I wasn't referring to you

No it's fine, I am being v stroppy on this thread and I understood you meant to pour calming whatever on troubled whatsits

Thankyou.

I'm not really slating individuals, Gloria. My sister is like you, and her life seems horribly difficult. For the last ten years, I have NEVER been able to speak to her on the phone without her involving her children, them climbing on her, not leaving her alone. I end up resentful of spending half an hour listening to her cooing at her children and it drives me mad.

It's just a different way of life - if this is a discussion, and that's what I see it as, I just don't understand why you don't make a choice to change it. It's fucking hard work to change things, I'm sure. But in the long run, isn't it worth it, for a few weeks of crappiness?

I don't think some people know what difficult children are, and some people don't know how lucky they are

It's not always down to how you parent, some children are born difficult

If you have children with special needs, that is an entirely different ballgame, Riven. I used to work with children with special needs, so I'm not completely ignorant to that fact. And yes, that is luck, of course.

I'm talking about children without special needs. Children that appear to run the household, and their parents seem to encourage that.

Abby - until my youngest was born I might have agreed with you. I had 2 reasonable, amenable children who did what they were asked without too much fuss. We had our disagreements but sorted them out quite quickly. I felt we were on the same side more or less. Then I had DS2. And I am not sure he's the same bloody species let alone on the same side

{dim}

who is sjp?

Ds has always loved having a bath with me. If I start running a bath then he comes running upstairs shedding clothes on the way so he can leap in before I stop him.
Actually it nearly gave him a nasty shock one time when I was cleaning a mat in a bath of cold water. Luckily I caught him in time.

Sarah Jessica Parker, I think, Quint

Precisely why I wouldn't risk having any more children, Orm

DeWe, which is fine, if that's how you like it. What I don't understand are the parents who complain that they can never have a bath alone, yet continue to allow their children to get in the bath with them