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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mixed sex changing facilites for 7 and 8 year olds

52 replies

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 15:52

does anyone else think that it is unacceptable for a classroom full of 7 and 8 year old boys and girls get changed into thier swimming costumes in the same classroom?

OP posts:

AKMD · 18/09/2011 15:54

It depends on how they feel about it TBH. If my DC were in that situation and they, unprompted, said that they were uncomfortable, I would speak to the teacher and epxcet other arrangements to be made. If they weren't bothered, neither would I be, although it's at the upper age limit of changing together IMO.

hairylights · 18/09/2011 15:55

No. What are you worried will happen?

AuntiePickleBottom · 18/09/2011 15:56

That is fine IMO

All the local swimming pools have mixed changing facilities

whackamole · 18/09/2011 15:56

I'm not sure. We changed into PE kits all the way up to year 6 in my school in the same room, mortifying for me as I started my periods already and was developing.

Bothered me then, but not now. Don't know what the policy is now though, and we didn't have a school pool so never down to no knickers.

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 15:59

my DD is very private, so on the first lesson she (and a group of her female freinds) went and got changed in the toilet, rather than the classroom. she was told off and told that next week she'd have to get changed in the classroom with the other children. She is mortified. I dont think anything will 'happen' other than my childs basic self dignity is being violated. None of our pools have mixed facililites

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 18/09/2011 16:00

Nothing is being violated

Where has she got these worries from at this age??

ForYourDreamsAreChina · 18/09/2011 16:01

If you child is "private" at that age, personally I'd be questioning what hang ups I'd given her.

cat64 · 18/09/2011 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

loler · 18/09/2011 16:02

I was wondering about this at swimming lessons today - ds1 is 6 but looks much older and I felt that some of the other mums were looking at him as if he shouldn't be in the girls changing rooms.

DD is 8 and she's just beginning to think about her body - she goes in her room to get out of her clothes (so no-one can see her) then jumps in the bath with her brothers . I agree with AKMD - it's probably the last year that it is OK. But unless any of my DC said anything I wouldn't raise it as an issue.

The above said dd has just come back from holiday with friends of all ages and all of them have been running around the pool and jumping in the sea with nothing on at all as it was easier that way. No-one thought about it and no-one said anything - they were just kids having fun. So - in conclusion - I don't know!

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:04

my dd doesnt have any hangups! i've taught her to respect her own body and to be proud of it. However that doesnt include getting changed in a mixed environment.

I have not yet questioned the decision to get them changed in the classroom, but i gather they did this last year too

OP posts:

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:11

i have bought her a bikini so that she can put it on before she leaves for school. do you think thats an acceptable compromise?

OP posts:

dearheart · 18/09/2011 16:13

My dd wouldn't like this either. I would teacher her the way to get changed without exposing yourself too much (ie wear a skirt and put the bottom on underneath it etc). I don't think a bikini is a good idea though - and most schools specify a one-piece.

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:16

thats a really good idea. i'll have a word with the school and i'll teach her how to change modestly.

She's not funny about being naked with her cousins or her freinds. i think that this year the yr 3s and 4s are in a mixed class and she doesnt know most of them.

OP posts:

MadameCastafiore · 18/09/2011 16:19

She is not happy to get changed in front of others but will wear a bikini - what is the world coming to?????

shaz298 · 18/09/2011 16:21

Op - I wouldn't be comfortable with it either. I'm in Scotland so not sure what age Yr 6 is? And to force children, of any age, to COMPLETELY undress in public is unfair I believe and completely inappropriate. I assume there are also adults present? What if any of these children have been subjected to sexual abuse? What if any of the children are showing signs of inappropriate sexualized behaviour ( it does happen). Even taking that out of the equation - we spend so long trying to instill in our children about privacy and their bodies being private , in order to keep them safe, and the schools overrule this and have them getting naked together!!

I would say there are various issues which you could tackle: A) Where is the dignity and respect in all of this for these kids? B) Where is the need of the individual being met? C) What is the problem with kids getting changed in the toilet? D) In swimming mixed sex changing rooms there are always plenty of cubicles to ensure privacy, people do not all get changed in one big area!!

I would definitely challenge this. IMO this is actually a child protection issue.

shaz298 · 18/09/2011 16:22

Oops Just re read - not sure where I got year 6 from!! But same goes for 7/8 year olds. Still stand by all of my comments.

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:22

i dont understand the most from Madamecastafiore... Bikinis cover her private areas just as much as a one piece. Naked however means no cover at all. she goes to the beach and sees bikinis all the while. its and acceptable covering.

what do you mean... what is the world coming to?

OP posts:

alistron1 · 18/09/2011 16:22

A child protection issue?? Oh for fucks sake.

GypsyMoth · 18/09/2011 16:27

Lol at child protection issue! Must be so difficult for the wee souls to undress out of all that cotton wool!!

slavetofilofax · 18/09/2011 16:30

The school has an obligation to maintain your childs dignity. I work in a nursery and we wouldn't chance a child out of wet clothes in front of other children for exactly that reason.

A couple of years ago, I'd have said yabu, but now my yougest is 8, he prefers to change on his own. I think he's picked that up from his older brother though.

YANBU.

shaz298 · 18/09/2011 16:30

Getting changed for PE ok - getting butt naked - no way. Def CP issue in my book. So if your 8 year old came home and said that a class mate had asked him/her to drop his knickers and show his/her genitals and said classmate did the same, would that be ok too?

Mass nakedness is not, IMO ( and it is only an opinion), acceptable in school.

I have worked with children and young people of all ages and I know for a fact that for many of these kids this would be completely inappropriate and potentially damamging.

I wouldn't be happy supervising a class full of 25 naked kids either tbh.

hairylights · 18/09/2011 16:35

"violation of dignity" is a wee bit strong IMHO. What are the bigger issues around why she's so "private" has she had shame of her body instilled in her? Seems odd to me at that age.

alistron1 · 18/09/2011 16:37

They don't run around starkers, it's not a mass streak. Most kids have their cossies on under their clothes and after a swim it's a case of a shuftie under a towel.

These are 7 and 8 years old we are talking about, how the smeg is their dignity being compromised?

And getting changed for swimming is a world away from being asked to drop your keks.

Original poster

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:38

violation of dignity isnt that strong. friend of mine is a childminder and she said that to allow one child to watch while another child has thier nappy changed is a violation of the childs dignity.

to be honest though... thats why i'm asking the question

OP posts:

MrsCampbellBlack · 18/09/2011 16:39

At dc's school they have separate changing from year 1 which I think is good.

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