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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mixed sex changing facilites for 7 and 8 year olds

52 replies

Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 15:52

does anyone else think that it is unacceptable for a classroom full of 7 and 8 year old boys and girls get changed into thier swimming costumes in the same classroom?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 18/09/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeWe · 18/09/2011 16:43

At the local infant school they have a little swimming pool with separate changing rooms which they change in for lessons. But when the pta has it's after school lessons half of them appear out wearing not a stitch because they've remembered something important to tell part way through changing. Some of them happily change on the side of the pool out of choice. As for if you try and close the door, they often want it open unless it's very cold. Generally it's fairly discreetly done, but I've never heard a child having a problem with it.

cat64 · 18/09/2011 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 18/09/2011 16:47

Could the boys change and one end and the girls at the other with their backs to each other?
DD 10.4, is outraged that she has to change in her classroom into her PE Kit. She is spoiledused to having a whole gym complete with changing rooms and showers to use. It's been a bit of an eye opener for her all this moving to England lark.

Original poster
Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 16:51

cat 64- i dont know why they are getting changed in the classroom, but aparrently they did this last year too.

OP posts:
shaz298 · 18/09/2011 16:53

Def speak to school and use the dignity/respect angle.

For those not understanding the potential issues for some kids being naked.........I so wish I lived in your lovely rose tinted world. This is a huge issue for some children, an embarrassment issue for others and for some kids it won't matter a jot. However for those for whom it is difficult, regardless the reason, then discussion needs to be had about how to ensure they can participate without their dignity being compomised.

IMO 7/8 yr olds will struggle to get dried properly whilst covering themselves and also to try and dress whilst still trying to cover themselves. Yes there is a difference between being asked to drop your knickers.......but can't you see that children are curious and will be looking ( childhood curiosity), but because it is the whole class, does not make it acceptable.

Say there is a looked after child in the class, what then? There is no way on this earth a SW is going to agree to communal changing like that...........what then? Send that one child away to change in private only to be questioned by all his/her peers why? Surely it's better to respect the privacy of all of their little bodies. No reason why the supervising adults can't wait in the toilet area to ensure that there's no nonsense??

ohnoshedittant · 18/09/2011 16:55

I used to work in a nursery in the under 1's room and we got told by Ofsted that we needed to put a curtain around the changing table so that the babies could have their privacy!!

So compared to that YANBU

Badgercub · 18/09/2011 16:57

I'm puzzled at some of the responses here.

Some children are already beginning to go through puberty at age 7/8 and will naturally feel self conscious about their changing bodies.

Also, as said above, there may be some children who have been subject to abuse in the past (it's more common than you all apparently think).

I certainly would not have wanted to get my genitals out in front of a bunch of boys when I was 8 years old.

hairylights · 18/09/2011 17:02

" friend of mine is a childminder and she said that to allow one child to watch while another child has thier nappy changed is a violation of the childs dignity"

Personally I think that's bizarre.

piprabbit · 18/09/2011 17:02

My DDs school also used to ask the Y2 children to change into their swimming costumes in the classroom before leaving onthe coach to go swimming.
They then changed back into uniform at the pool after the lesson.

I assume that it's a timing issue - saves half an hour at the pool before the lesson - maybe allowing the pool to open for a short public session over lunch hour?

Definitely agree with posters who have suggested a quick training session on "how to change without taking all your clothes off before putting your swimsuit on".

Original poster
Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 17:06

Hairylights- its not that bizarre... i'm sure you have read these responses too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 17:07

thank you to everyone who has responded to my initial question. i got mixed responses when i asked my friends here, but i had heard so much about mumsnet that i thought i would ask a larger audience.

the rights or wrongs of what my DD feels arent the issue, its the way she feels. I will speak to the school and see what happens.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 18/09/2011 17:11

Just asked son - they get separated out in Y6 - upto the end of Y5 everyone gets changed together.

Personally I dont have issues with it - but I can see how a developing child (or perhaps a chubby child, or one with an odd birthmark etc etc may feel everyone was looking, when infact no probably is).

hairylightsSun 18-Sep-11 17:02:28

" friend of mine is a childminder and she said that to allow one child to watch while another child has thier nappy changed is a violation of the childs dignity"

Personally I think that's bizarre.

I agree.

LindyHemming · 18/09/2011 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverondiet · 18/09/2011 17:30

I think getting changed for PE would be ok, but for swimming I'm not sure.

But she could put swimming costume on under her skirt and same in reverse at end. Harder in trousers.

Practice at home changing under skirt?

Andrewofgg · 18/09/2011 17:59

Tewkespeggy what about changing after the swim? Not healthy - in another sense altogether - to be sitting in a damp costume, one-piece or two.

The school year in which they attain 8 is the very last that this can possibly be acceptable.

Dancergirl · 18/09/2011 18:08

I think there's nothing wrong it per se as long as the children are comfortable with it, which your dd clearly isn't.

And as for having 'hang ups' which someone stupidly mentioned above...WTF?? Some children are just shy. Hell, I'M shy in changing rooms at the gym and I'm an adult.

Original poster
Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 18:10

thanks Dancegirl, she is extremely shy. and i'd rather her be shy and reserved than anything else.

she is a wonderful girl and i think that being told off was what started it all off. Privacy is good no matter what your age/size/weight/diability.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 18/09/2011 18:12

My DD started to develop at aged 8y and would have been very unhappy with having to change in front of boys at that stage. I suspect she wouldn't have liked it for a little while before than either. It's really not fair on developing girls and boys to make them change, and for swimming this is changing completely after all, in front of one another if they feel uncomfortable.

supersewer · 18/09/2011 19:23

If you are that bothered buy/make her a tent towel, large cylinder of towelling material with elastic at the neck, make a job let, sell them to all the kids and raise some funds for PTA to build a changing room!!!

But honestly, they are kids!!

alemci · 18/09/2011 19:30

I would have absolutely hated it at that age. I went to an all girls school from Y5 and we had a swimming pool. I even hated stripping off in front of the other girls TBH but got used to it.

I don't think it is right at all.

GwenCooper · 18/09/2011 19:43

My 8 year old son would not give this a second thought. I can't see the problem but then I don't have a Dd. Maybe it's different with girls but I am sure I was ok with it at that age. The problems would arise around aged 9/10 I would think when some girls are hitting puberty.

TalesOfTheUnexpected · 18/09/2011 19:48

I don't agree with mixed sex changes at any age tbh.

I was brought up to be modest, protect my privacy and body and I thought my Mother was an uptight so and so. I swore when I had children I wouldn't instil that into them....they could run naked through fields if they wanted.

However, my daughter is as shy and modest as I was, even though I've tried to balance out modesty and being proud of her body. She's just started swimming classes at school and has asked this week if she can go into school with her swimming costume on under her uniform as she doesn't like getting changed in front of the other classmates.

She's an early developer like me.

I am still haunted by the memory of getting changed for swimming class 30-odd years ago and getting teased for having a 'hairy-Mary' before anyone else had one! Blush

Original poster
Tewkespeggy · 18/09/2011 19:48

ok thanks for all the posts... BUT there is a poster at the local baths that says no over 8 year old boys in the female changing rooms...

yet we are having 8 year old boys and girls changing together.

I really do appreciate all of the opinions here, but there doesnt seem to be any middle ground

OP posts:
Oblomov · 18/09/2011 20:11

ds1 is 7, nearly 8, and he is getting a bit more shy. Doesn't want anyone on holiday to see him in his boxers, getting changed. But doesn't mind running around in his swimming trunks. Hmm No, I didn't get it either. Classmates mums have said their boys are getting more shy. Not sure about the girls.

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