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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

over bridesmaids dress argument?

123 replies

doublechocchip · 14/09/2011 17:55

I am getting married in 7 weeks I bought my bridesmaids dresses in february, all tried on and said they were happy with them. I have 4 bridesmaids who are size 8, 10 , 12 and 22 so it was really hard finding dresses that they would all feel comfortable in. I wanted a chocolate brown as we are getting married in autumn, not satin as it isnt flattering for a lot of people and not strapless as I hate seeing bridesmaids hoiking up their dress all day.

Now this weekend my mum has said she hates the dresses and has been telling my sister who is a 10 that is does her no favours so obviously she is really worrying about it now. I am sure it is because my mum is a label snob and knows how much these dresses cost and therefore isnt enough. The price to me wasnt really an issue although wanted to try and keep it under £100ish. AIBU in telling my mum it is now her problem and she can sort it out, Im already a bit stressed out with all the final details, dd starting school and ds starting pre-school. It is now too late to order any made dresses from reputable countries just from places like china where I hear really mixed reviews and cant buy off the peg at places like coast as they only go up to an 18. Am really angry at my mum to have waited till now to tell me she hates them and turning my sisters against them AIBU?

OP posts:
SheWhoMustNotBeFlamed · 14/09/2011 17:56

Linky?

larks35 · 14/09/2011 17:58

Of course YANBU. Tell your mum she is welcome to go and find (and pay for) alternative dresses if she wants but that it is too late for you to do anything about now.

squeakytoy · 14/09/2011 17:58

Hang on.. is it your mums wedding or yours?

Yours!

It doesnt matter if your mother hates them, a)she isnt wearing one of them and b) she presumably got a say in the bridesmaids dresses at her own wedding.

Chocolate brown sounds fine to me, as it can be accessorised nicely, and will probably complement your own dress very well.

You are happy, the bridesmaids are happy. Tell your mum to stop interefering or get her credit card out.

rookiemater · 14/09/2011 17:59

YANBU your mother is being very inconsiderate. Tell her if she hates them so much she can source and pay for replacements or alternatively if your sister doesn't want to wear the dress that she agreed that she was happy with then she can cease to be a bridesmaid.

FetchezLaVache · 14/09/2011 18:00

I think your mum's being a bit tactless and rude, tbh, but I think in her own mind, she probably imagines she's saving you from making a massive mistake. If your bridesmaids all like their dresses, and you like them too, I think you should tell your mum to do one. Can you get your sis round and try the dress on again, with a glass or two of wine for some sisterly bonding, to lay her mind to rest that it is actually flattering? And more importantly, can you find a picture of the dresses for us so that we can lay your mind to rest?

seaweedhead · 14/09/2011 18:02

YANBU - its none of your mum's business really is it? If you like them and the bridesmaids are happy with them that's all that matters.

Bathsheba · 14/09/2011 18:02

Are you and the rest of your bridesmaids (apart from your sister I mean) 100% happy and confident about your choices (I speak as a size 24 girl who would die to be asked to be a bridesmaid and I would only do it for a lovely considerate loving friend like you clearly are)...

Repeat after me - "Mum, the girls and I are very happy with our dressese"...

whattodoo · 14/09/2011 18:04

The very last thing I'd do is change the dre
sses.
You've chosen a colour and style that you and the bridesmaids were happy with. You've probably got huge financial commitments and little spare cash.
Tell your nun to stop causing problems. Ask your sis to get a good friends opinion about how she looks in the dress. But tell her you neither have time nor money to change the dresses now.
Then, 3 days before your wedding tell your mum you hate her mother of the bride outfit.

whattodoo · 14/09/2011 18:05

Mum, not nun

doublechocchip · 14/09/2011 18:06

ok here goes link....

www.bonprixsecure.com/uk/imageZoom.htm?bu=449901&zo=1&va=4&st=24558&oiip=

hope that worked! Obviously without awful choker! Have got them ivory and gold wraps and gold shoes (a muted gold not brashy) Just really liked the way material fell as thought it looked flattering on all shapes/sizes....await varying opinions!

OP posts:
doublechocchip · 14/09/2011 18:07

www.bonprixsecure.com/uk/Dress-449901-bundle.htm?sourcePageClick=article_image

OP posts:
Cheria · 14/09/2011 18:09

That's gorgeous. YANBU to be annoyed. I think that's the kind of dress that everyone can wear, especially with the accessories you describe.

MissPenteuth · 14/09/2011 18:09

Here :)

blushingm · 14/09/2011 18:10

i think that dress is lovely! - i'd tell your mum to bog off!

FetchezLaVache · 14/09/2011 18:10

Here it is

Well, I think that's lovely! And I can't see how it could fail to flatter someone who's size 10.

BTW whattodoo's suggestion re mother of bride outfit is sheer genius!

hillyhilly · 14/09/2011 18:10

I think the dresses are lovely and that you are right, the shape, cut and fabric, will suit and flatter all sizes, I love the previous idea of telling your tactless mother a couple of days before the wedding that you hate her outfit! Obviously that would be too nasty but it might be a good point to suggest to her how she might feel if you were to do that.
Ignore her YANBU!!

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 18:10

Ooo might get one for myself

doublechocchip · 14/09/2011 18:11

Thanks very much MissPenteuth am not too hot on the old linking! Yes thats the one just scroll across for the brown.

OP posts:
AuntieMaggie · 14/09/2011 18:12

They look nice to me!

Imnotaslimjim · 14/09/2011 18:13

i think thats really nice. I'm a size 22 and I would like that, especially with a wrap. Tell your mum to keep her nose out. I think that maybe she didn't get dresses she liked for her own wedding and is projecting. Enjoy your day

squeakytoy · 14/09/2011 18:14

They are lovely flattering dresses. Not too OTT and very similar to the dresses I had for my own bridesmaids.

LadyMontdore · 14/09/2011 18:14

They look nice, pretty dresses. Also may get more than one wear. Totally with you on the dislike of satin and strapless, that look is unflattering and a cliche.

ENormaSnob · 14/09/2011 18:15

That dress is lovely.

Nowt to do with your mum anyway.

pineappleupsidedownpudding · 14/09/2011 18:16

They are lovely, good choice.

pigletmania · 14/09/2011 18:17

Tell your mum that if she does not like the dresses, she can buy and pay for them herself!