over bridesmaids dress argument?

[doublechocchip]

I am getting married in 7 weeks I bought my bridesmaids dresses in february, all tried on and said they were happy with them. I have 4 bridesmaids who are size 8, 10 , 12 and 22 so it was really hard finding dresses that they would all feel comfortable in. I wanted a chocolate brown as we are getting married in autumn, not satin as it isnt flattering for a lot of people and not strapless as I hate seeing bridesmaids hoiking up their dress all day.

Now this weekend my mum has said she hates the dresses and has been telling my sister who is a 10 that is does her no favours so obviously she is really worrying about it now. I am sure it is because my mum is a label snob and knows how much these dresses cost and therefore isnt enough. The price to me wasnt really an issue although wanted to try and keep it under £100ish. AIBU in telling my mum it is now her problem and she can sort it out, Im already a bit stressed out with all the final details, dd starting school and ds starting pre-school. It is now too late to order any made dresses from reputable countries just from places like china where I hear really mixed reviews and cant buy off the peg at places like coast as they only go up to an 18. Am really angry at my mum to have waited till now to tell me she hates them and turning my sisters against them AIBU?

[elphabadefiesgravity]

What a great website. i hadn't heard of it before. def going to have a mooch

[bubby64]

Love the dress, your mum is just being picky and a pain in the rear, I'm no slim chicken, and they would suit me, and I'm sure they suit all your girlies. Has Mum seen them on with the accessories? That might change her mind.

[MumblingRagDoll]

I would be SO pleased if I were your bridesmaid! Lovely dress. Especially in brown with gold.

[kingprawntikka]

Those dresses are really lovely. I'd happily wear it.

[fanjobanjowanjo]

That's a lovely dress, and you have been so kind and thoughtful to choose something flattering and lovely!

I am being put into a skin tight light silver satin strapless number in october, which shows every ripple of cellulite on my bum, and flattens my boobs so I look like an enormous cellulitey bum with a stick at the top with bingo wings, and I'm not allowed to wear any sort of bolero/cover up either! Tell your sister that if she's having wobbles, I'm sure it will make her feel better.

I will be doing it anyway because I love my friend dearly!

[NorksAreMessy]

lovely dress, easy to accessorise and I love the idea of chocolate colour.
being nearer a 22 than an 8, I would appreciate a dress that allows for serious underpinning, in a flattering colour.

stick to your guns!

[Robotindisguise]

Same with me fanjo - I'm due to wear aubergine which makes me look as though I'm seriously ill. I've said "that looks lovely".

It might be worth asking yourself why your mum is pouring cold water on the wedding. Is she used to being the centre of attention?

Ask her why she's trying to ruin things.

[thekidsmom]

I think the dress is lovely, to be honest. I imagine its flattering to all of your bridesmaids.

[Grumpla]

I think those dresses are very nice, will flatter a range of sizes and I wouldn't have to drink a vat of whisky before being seen out in public in one. Always amazed by how few bridesmaids dresses fail to fulfil those criteria!!!

Tell your mum to piss off and tell your sister not to be daft.

[PrimaBallerina]

Great dress. Very unreasonable mother!

[withLainintheWired]

The dress would suit anyone and is very pretty. Tell your mum to bog off!

[NotAnotherNewNappy]

The dresses are lovely. Tell your mum to beak out, you don't need this stress weeks before your big day.

[doublechocchip]

Thanks for everybodys lovely feedback about the dresses. Just wanted to update the situation. I went to my parents last night to see my sister try on the dress, she came out with her socks on and her hair all wild slumped over prodding at imaginary bits of fat the dress apparently shows. I told her to put the wrap on, a pair of heels and tidy her hair and instantly it looked better. Came home and read all the comments on here and felt really determined to stand up to my mum this morning (she was taking me to work).

I told her that Id decided to stick with the dresses and she told me she was so disappointed and that my sisters will be as well as they do nothing for them and show off sister number 2 bow legs (which apparently dont stop her from wearing mini dresses every weekend going clubbing!). I was really calm about it all and said that Id spent ages looking and I was being made to feel like Id chosen any old thing- hell I spent longer looking for their dresses than I did my own. I asked her why she'd only told me now she hated them and she said she had been hinting. She told me a couple of months ago she thought they were plain which is why I got the wraps and thought gold shoes would compliment nicely and then she wanted to put a petticoat under them which I said she could do. I asked her what her back up plan was for the dress situation seeing as she'd told me so close to the date she must have something else in mind, her answer- something long!

I said to her how she'd feel if I told her I didnt like her Mother of the Bride outfit the day before the wedding and she didnt say much back to that then got really angry saying how dare I have a go at her which I didnt I was just explaining how I felt.

I dont want my bridesmaids to wear something they hate and I feel like my mum and sisters have been talking for ages about how much they dislike the dress and have only now come out and said it. I dont want to cause a family argument as we usually get on so well and we are all going on my hen do next weekend but dont know what to do now.:(

[Tinkerisdead]

Stick to your guns. I clicked on your link expecting to brace myself and i loved the dress. I fact i had a 14 yr old in a strapless prom dress and now i kick myself i didnt choose yours.

All these comments are very unfair. Your mum should be telling your sisters that its your day, and that they are to go with whatever you want. They'll get their day in the future. It sounds like your mum would have preferred something more ballgown bridesmaid and is projecting it on to you and your sisters.

Tough shit. Your day. Your choice.

And we all agree its a great choice. Stay with it. You got lovely dresses at a great price. Im 20 weeks preg and im considering getting one for an evening do ive got coming up. You've chosen a dress that would look nice on many.

[Moobee]

That sounds awful, does your sister really not like though? Was it better for her perception when she put on heels etc? I think you need to tell your mum that she's being really undermining and it's none if her business, but that's easier said than done. I'm sure they look lovely on, it's very pretty. If the other bridesmaids like it, perhaps they could boost your sisters confidence again?

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

Don't do anything.

That is all, I think at the bottom of this is your mum who has place negative thoughts about the dresses with your sisters (they were happy before?). Do not bend over backwards to keep them sweet you or will end up resenting it. It's your wedding ultimately!

[blodyn83]

Lovely choice of dresses! Do not give in to your mum, no one will be looking at them anyway, everyone will be admiring the bride!

Could u perhaps try and distract your mum with another job or 'crisis' you 'need her help with'? Maybe she just wants to feel a bit more involved in your wedding?

[Sandalwood]

"does her no favours" ?
Cor. The bridesmaids dresses I've seen at others' weddings.
They have no idea how lucky they are!

[BaronessBomburst]

How on earth can those dresses 'do her no favours'? The cut and colour are really flattering. And I don't see how they can look plain either, with heels and a hair-do. What was your mother expecting - 'my big fat gypsy wedding' type dresses for the bridesmaids? A dolly with a crotchet skirt and a toilet roll underneath it? besides, they're not suppose to outshine you anyway!

[kickassangel]

are you the first one to have moved out & got married, had kids etc? is there a bit of 'she's leaving me'? going on, or is it all because it isn't expensive enough for your mum?

it's incredibly rude of any of them to say things at this stage - when you were choosing was when they should have said - your sisters, that is, not your mum. it has nothing to do with her.

i bet your sister wears plenty of stuff your mum doesn't approve of when she goes out, so why is this day any different?

[biscuitmad]

I just wanted to say four weeks before my wedding my mum decided to tell me the table plan for the wedding. Even though I had done it and had it printed out and framed for the day.

I pointed out to her that she had only put our family, not his. And no one of my friends. I then laughed got up ripped it in half and walked out. She kept her nose out after that. Just stand your ground and say Im going to enjoy my day if your not happy with what I have done, dont bother coming. That will shut her up.

[CurrySpice]

Make a slide show of simply hideous alternatives and ask which they wuld prefer

I'm sure we can help you with some links

[Haberdashery]

Those are beautiful dresses. Any colour in that style would look good and chocolate brown is a great choice as there are very few people who couldn't wear it and look at least OK. Good grief, some people have to be bridesmaids in egg yolk yellow or fuchsia or bright green.

You have chosen a lovely tasteful understated option which will also be something that your bridesmaids can wear again. Tell your mum to bog off!

[daenerysstormborn]

i am another who thinks the dresses are lovely. the style is very flattering. and anyway, even if the dresses did 'do the bridesmaids no favours', all eyes should be on you, the bride anyway.

as far as where to go next with it, i would take your mum out of the equation, talk to the bridesmaids themselves direct, ask them to be honest, but also stress that at 7 weeks to go, it's unlikely to give time for any changes. get them on side and draw a line under it as far as your mum is concerned.