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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

over bridesmaids dress argument?

123 replies

doublechocchip · 14/09/2011 17:55

I am getting married in 7 weeks I bought my bridesmaids dresses in february, all tried on and said they were happy with them. I have 4 bridesmaids who are size 8, 10 , 12 and 22 so it was really hard finding dresses that they would all feel comfortable in. I wanted a chocolate brown as we are getting married in autumn, not satin as it isnt flattering for a lot of people and not strapless as I hate seeing bridesmaids hoiking up their dress all day.

Now this weekend my mum has said she hates the dresses and has been telling my sister who is a 10 that is does her no favours so obviously she is really worrying about it now. I am sure it is because my mum is a label snob and knows how much these dresses cost and therefore isnt enough. The price to me wasnt really an issue although wanted to try and keep it under £100ish. AIBU in telling my mum it is now her problem and she can sort it out, Im already a bit stressed out with all the final details, dd starting school and ds starting pre-school. It is now too late to order any made dresses from reputable countries just from places like china where I hear really mixed reviews and cant buy off the peg at places like coast as they only go up to an 18. Am really angry at my mum to have waited till now to tell me she hates them and turning my sisters against them AIBU?

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 14/09/2011 21:00

Those dresses are lovely!

Tell your Mum to shove her unwanted opinion where the sun don't shine.

fit2drop · 14/09/2011 21:00

The dress is lovely and I hope you manage to have a lovely stress free day doublechocchip

your mum i probably disappointed and expected peachy satin with garland of flowers for the hair Grin

Oh and thanks for the link too, never heard of that site and there is some really nice stuff....
knitwear is really cheap, may order myself a knitted dress or six. Well winter will soon be here Grin

CurrySpice · 14/09/2011 21:04

I felt nervous when I clisked that link and was ready to do a "if you can't say anything nice say nothing" deal.

But they are lovely aand I'm thinking of ordering the plum one for myself . And you are right - very flattering for all shapes. I cannot think what your mom is talking about

YANBU

Dozer · 14/09/2011 21:05

Spanx!

Your mum sounds like she needs a chill pill.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 14/09/2011 21:05

Just seen about 10 dresses I want to buy from that website!

plupervert · 14/09/2011 21:30

Don't you dare give your mother's opinion any more weight than she is already giving it herself. "Sort it out", my foot! Warm all your bridesmaids that she is this tactless, and remind them that part of a bridesmaid's duties is to keep the bride calm in the face of Mumzilla (well, that was how I interpreted my role when I was a BM, and boy, wasn't I right?!). This will have the side-effect of inoculating your BMs against her nonsense: they simply won't feel the pain because you will have already discredited her. A bit like the way in which Mandy Rice-Davies (of the Profumo affair) undermined people in court by saying, "well, he would say that, wouldn't he?"

Not nice, but what she's doing isn't in the least supportive.

heleninahandcart · 14/09/2011 21:38

Dresses are lovely. Will flatter everyone and you did well to find them. Maybe divert your mother like you would a toddler? i.e. give her something else to car about

heleninahandcart · 14/09/2011 21:39

carp

Eglu · 14/09/2011 21:43

As has been said already,

The dresses are lovely, it is your wedding not your Mum's.

InnocentRedhead · 14/09/2011 21:43

Thank you for pointing out these dresses! I love some of them for my bridesmaids next year! FAB thank you!!!!

Oh and with your mother, just show her this, and royally tell her to slag off someone else's dress!

NorfolkBroad · 14/09/2011 21:45

Gorgeous dress. They are lucky bridesmaids. Plus they will probably enjoy wearing them after the wedding. Have a lovely day!

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 14/09/2011 21:50

OK I've now bookmarked 43 items I want from that website. Best go check my Lotto ticket.

Inertia · 14/09/2011 21:52

The dresses are lovely, and look like a good bet for being flattering for a range of figures. I'm sure your bridesmaids will look lovely.

Maybe your mum has got her knickers in a twist because they are not a very formal, typical bridesmaid style?

If she'd told me she hated them, I'd have said that's it a good job she isn't a bridesmaid then so she doesn't have to wear them. When she got/gets married she gets to choose the BM dresses. Bit like the baby name discussion- if your mum has ever been married then she's had her dress-choosing turn. Now it's your choice for your wedding.

SouthernFriedTofu · 14/09/2011 21:55

those are lovely and your mum does not to get to get involved now!

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/09/2011 21:55

If your mother doesn't like that dress, then she has no taste.

Adversecamber · 14/09/2011 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 14/09/2011 22:03

Ooh yeah the long sleeved one in the red colour in the second picture down is lovely!

minxofmancunia · 14/09/2011 22:22

YANBU, that dress is really lovely and I think it's impressive you've found something that truly will flatter every shape!

It's really decent of you to think of what your bridesmaids will feel comfortable in, and you've rightly steered away from the dreaded strapless!

schoolchauffeur · 14/09/2011 22:26

I think these dresses are gorgeous- hate all those strappy ones as you need the perfect figure for them which virtually no-one has. Plus with the accessories you mention these will be lovely for future evening events etc Good choice!

ReindeerBollocks · 14/09/2011 22:42

My bridesmaid had one of this dresses on last weekend, it was floor length but a different colour, and she had just had a baby and it looked gorgeous.

I'm confused, is your mum a bridesmaid? If so, fair enough, but as I seriously doubt she is, tell her your wedding, your money, your choice.

Plus, throw her off the scent by telling her she should be worried about what she is wearing as MOTB, and just in case she has this in hand, ask if she has considered a fascinator or hat.

Seriously, keep the dresses, they are lovely.

sugarandspiceandallthingsnice · 14/09/2011 22:47

It's your wedding, your mum is not wearing (or paying) for the dresses, YANBU.

Fwiw my bridesmaids picked their own, as long as they were black I didn't care. MIL not too impressed but it was my wedding and I wanted something they would wear again.

PS Your dresses are lovely!

Tyrionlovingyourwork · 14/09/2011 22:52

Another lovely here.

notlettingthefearshow · 14/09/2011 22:53

YANBU.

It's your wedding, not your mum's, and it's really unhelpful to find problems at this late stage. The dresses have been chosen and you have done a great job.

Just ignore her!

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 14/09/2011 23:01

My god those dresses are bloody gorgeous!

eurochick · 14/09/2011 23:07

I disagree with the idea of telling your mum she can sort it out herself if she doesn't like your choice. What if she does and causes massive extra stress for you and the bridesmaids? And it is your wedding. You like the dresses. Tell her to focus on her own outfit.

Part of being a bridesmaid is to suck it up and not outshine the bride. I managed to get to 33 without being one and was dreading what I would be stuck in but ended up with something I loved. I would have smiled nicely for the photos whatever she had put me in. I had loads of people coming up to me on the day telling me through gritted teeth that I did much better than they did when they were bridesmaids! You have been really thoughtful in choosing a dress that should flatter a variety of shapes. Forget about what your mum says. It is your wedding! And it will be lovely.