mummyandpig said "Oh ffs, I haven't read all the posts but some of them are just ridiculous. Especially the "personality disorder and no social skills" one. Jesus, how narrow minded can you get?!"
Fabby's comments usually are ridiculous - I didn't pay it a moment's attention and I suggest you don't either! 
Same for maypole1's comments, frankly.
DD doesn't have a 'best friend' but has friends with whom she plays at school so she could still have them round to play. She has two friends (sisters) who live in our street, so they'd still be in and out of each other's houses, I expect.
I would get quite a bit of time away from my DD, ragged - as I said above, she could spend even more time with her dad if we HEed, and also with her DGPs, so she'd be away from me for days to weeks at a time.
OTheHugeRaveningWolef said "What's confusing me is that in your other post you say you have an 'authoritatian' parenting approach, which presumably mean forcing your DD to do things sometimes. Yet you object to forcing her to go to school. IF you're generally ok with forcing her todo things, why make an exception for school? Is this your own ishoos about your own schooling? Is it just that you don't like sharing your authority with her school? Either way, I think your motives are a bit iffy here."
As I?ve said on the other thread, I have a very authoritarian approach to manners ? I won?t tolerate DD speaking rudely to me or anyone else (constant battle since she can be incredibly bloody rude). DD argues with everything; on a good day, that provides lively debate, but there?s only so much explaining and debating I?m willing to do on whether she can have icecream/stay up later/play on the computer/not put on a coat/restrain the growling dog etc etc ad infinitum until I just make her do as she?s told. I am authoritarian in insisting she does what I tell her to do because I believe that to be (whatever I?m insisting on at the time) in her best interests. I?m not always convinced that going to school is in her best interests, thus I have more of an issue with forcing her to do so. No I don?t mind sharing my authority with the school ? I don?t see why on earth I would? 
bumbley said ?I'm sure here are some 'little shits' (lovely way to describe children btw featherbag) that are HE, there are also plenty in school too! At least in the HE environment you don't have to spend time with them everyday.? 
My thoughts exactly! Great post and very informative, thank you. 
Same to TeddyBare ? brilliant post and you expressed exactly what I?m thinking about the issue, especially teens. No problem with my DD questioning my opinions; she came out of the womb disagreeing with me. I have always taught her that people believe a wide range of different things and that I don?t know what is definitively ?right?. I hold very different opinions on some things to her dad and other significant people in her life. I'm not one to say 'my opinion is the only right opinion' on most things.
Hard said ?But your child is not being bullied at all, and in fact enjoys going to school to socialize, so personally I would stick with the schooling? Some days DD is happy to go to school, but a lot of the time she doesn?t want to go and the reasons she cites are usually to do with other children. She frequently tells me that she is being bullied, but I don?t think that this is the case because I think she gives as good as she gets. She has always wanted to play with the boys, and play rough with the boys. On the one hand she gets upset when they hurt her ? and they do hurt her; she gets hit, kicked, chinese burns, pushed over, screamed at and insulted ? but on the other hand the boys do seem to like her in that they play with her (or at least chase and are chased by her 
), and I?ve always thought that this is how they play with each other, but fired up with a bit of resentment and fear since DD is big, loud and aggressive for a girl of her age. I?m not saying that all this happens every day, but there isn?t a day that she doesn?t come home with a (very minor) injury and a furious tale of injustice. She doesn?t fight with the girls physically, but the nasty words upset her. Again, I?m sure she gives as good as she gets, but it does upset her.
Wordfactory said ?That said, the families who seem to make it work well for them are the ones who take a very relaxed approach to it. And tbh you don't seem relaxed.
Is this going to be somehting that stresses you out and consequently stresses your DD out?? I don?t know ? that?s exactly what I?m trying to work out!
Dawndonna that?s really reassuring, thank you. So glad it worked for you.
Marfisa & A1980 I?m sorry to hear about your experiences. Were you given the informed free choice of whether to go to school or be HEed? It doesn?t sound like it. I?m not worried about a lack of adult role models for DD, tbh. As I said before, me, her dad, my DP, my parents are all very different personalities with very different views, but we all have her welfare paramount and are very involved with her life. She also has four odd-parents, and she?ll have other adults who?ll teach her sports, activities etc. Other family members too ? another two DGPs, uncle and aunt, family friends.
Ormirian said ??Why should she have to go somewhere every day that makes her stressed and upset?' Well because sometimes that is how the world works unfortunately. What you do about it is to try and find a way of making yourself less stressed and upset or find another place to go. You are taking away her choices in this matter.?
Ummm... I?m considering giving her the choice to be HEed because that?s what she wants... how is that taking away her choice to remove herself from a situation she finds stressful?
orm said ?I'm curious to know what your DD thinks of the idea?? Ah I see ? you haven?t read my posts.
sieglinde said ?Frankly, my kids would probably be odd anywhere" Yes, me and mine too! Great posts, thanks.
ImperialBlether said "I wanted to say what Bunbaker said. Your child seems to be incredibly tired and you are blaming this on school. Have you taken her to the doctor to have a check up? I would be very worried about my child if she was so tired.? I don?t think she?s ?incredibly? tired. I find it incredible that my neighbours children don?t go up to bed until 9 or 10pm. She?s always needed a lot of sleep or she gets grumpy and fractious. I send her to bed so early because she reads for ages and sometimes isn?t asleep by 9 or 10pm ? she often takes a long time to fall asleep. Some mornings she?s up very early and is bright and cheerful (weekends, usually 
) but many school mornings she is hard to rouse, tearful and uncooperative, complaining that she is really tired, that she aches, that she needs a quiet day. It?s never occurred to me to take her to the doctors for that; she has plenty of energy when she?s enthused by something.
Today DD had about an hour and a half quietly playing in her room, then we had breakfast and she did 45 mins Spanish audio course. Minimal moaning, but she got arsey with me when I tried to help her, so I let her do it all herself. Then she had a long conversation with my mum on the phone about WW2, evacuees etc, which they're doing as a topic at school. A bit later she was telling me that she'd like to learn more about prehistoric sea creatures. I suggested she go and research the megalodon, since that was what she was talking about. She did so on the pc. We then took the dog for a walk and did some foraging for fungi. DD absolutely loved this, and we spent an hour and a half hunting fungi, her cutting open earth balls to see the colour changes, identifying mushrooms, talking about fungus development. She was really excited to find a mature puffball, and puffed it for ages. We then went to a HE group local to us where she played with lots of children of different ages. She helped me cook the young puffballs we collected for her dinner, then she watched some nature programmes.
Personally I think that she got more out of today than she would have done at school.