STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AND STOP THE ATTACKS ON SN PARENTS

[4madboys]

ok NOT an aibu, but this is where it will be seen the most and it NEEDS awareness.

quite frankly, i along with others am appalled at the comments that are being made and left to stand, toward the SN community, they are downright offensive and quite simply appalling.

i am sure (or hope) that the majority on here do NOT agree with them but yet the SN community on mn are not being supported, whether this is because people do not know what to say, or they havent seen these posts i do not know?

BUT IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT THINGS CHANGED, so this a thread where you can stand up and be counted and say that you do not agree with the disregard, blatant trolling and offensive behaviour towards our lovely mn who have or are dealing with sn in their family.

they need this place for support, not the vile behaviour that they are getting.

so please post here and show your support and help make a change for the better.

all it takes is a smile next to your name to show you agree :)

why on earth should sn posters only post in the sn section?!! utterly riddiculous idea. i thought we had moved on from isolating those that are different?

we arent complaing at different opinions, we are complaining about the vileness spouted towards sn posters and the attacks that have and are being made towards specific posters.

there was blatant trolling and wind up on glitters thread, some of which has now been deleted.

and as for there being some kind of club/gang? i think thats laughable, there isnt one, but if there was i dont even have a sn child, so am i not part of it?!! i posted this thread because i have seen the wind ups and the attacks on sn posters and i for one am not happy with it being allowed to continue, not because i am part of some 'gang'

dittany... I understand what you mean but I've never seen people taking a pop at posters as such. I don't read the SN board but if you take AIBU as an example - 'Benefits'... such a difficult subject. I've seen posters take exception to an opinion and that poster was upset that the original one refused to 'back down' what was essentially that opinion. It wasn't about the poster but obviously the circumstances and I think that's the difficulty with opinions, it's very easy to 'sweep up' posters who are in those circumstances, whether you know or not, and offend them.

As far as 'ammunition' goes, I don't think I would even spot what other people's trigger points are but, I would hope that if I did, wouldn't use that. It is horrid, I agree, but whilst some of the 'jibes' are obvious, some can be very insidious and you (general) can't be sure if offense was meant or not.

Shiney
To be fair to MN, they are damned if they do and damned if they don't at the moment. But, no. That post should not have been deleted.

LyingWitch
Yes, they can mention their DC but not their DC's SN. As that would be "playing the SN card". Unless they are on a SN thread. That seems unfair.

I talk about my DC's trilingualism cause I am showing off all the time. If someone were to yak at me every time I mentioned it, I would get hacked off.

shineon, have mnhq messaged you to explain why they removed your post? they normally do. will have to read back and see which one it was.

i think shineon that perhaps it came across as slightly patronising, fair enough you didnt mean it that way and have come back to explain yourself :)

Shiney, utterly ridiculous (and incidentally the type of thing being referred to on the post deletion thread)

Iirc, dp had a lot of second chances, and around the election a thread was started (simillar to this one) asking mnhq to take action and stop fannying around deleting every other post, and just ban.

Shiney, utterly ridiculous (and incidentally the type of thing being referred to on the post deletion thread)

Iirc, dp had a lot of second chances, and around the election a thread was started (simillar to this one) asking mnhq to take action and stop fannying around deleting every other post, and just ban.

Shiney
Again - the point I am making is that when you have had the Holland poem (whatever that is, presumably some patronising shite about special parents) and other guff spouted at you for years, then you may be quicker to take offence.

Not that it makes it right. But understandable.

I agree with 4mad I don't have an SN child but work in SN Ed. I see daily what parents have to do to fight for what should be given as a 'right' for the their children. And before anyone says anything I don't mean right as in sense of entitlement, I mean it in regards to things such as a decent education, suitable seating.

I hate some of the attitudes I've seen on here.

After having read through the posted links, which pointed out clearly what you mean even without knowing the content of the posts removed by MN (I shudder to think what they said) I would just like my to be added to the others.

I have received an education this evening though. Not on sn because although I have no experience of caring for anyone with sn I honestly don't think it takes a genius to realise how difficult this can be. I have had an education in the disgusting, closed mind, self centred, uncaring attitude of some people. The sad thing is that these people,I'm assuming, are all mothers and so unfortunately (but I do hope I'm wrong) their lousy attitude will be passed to the next generation

very crap way to treated, people are very touchy (good reason most of the time, not always though)

See below the Holland poem - It makes me laugh and seethe all at the same time, I guess some people like it though

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

And mrsC vomits!!!!!

Standing up to be counted. Twice.

Thing about posting is you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you mention your children's sn you're wrong and if you don't then you get jumped on because perhaps you describe things that then get a load of - you're a bad mother, what do you mean your children do x,y,z how old are they if they were MY kids I'd sort that out... which then means you have to say well, actually, they've got ...

So either you just don't talk about your children, which is bloody unfair, or you do and you get accused of all sorts.

I don't have any nt children, but I still want to contribute to threads and talk about my children - and ask advice about them! It's just my experience is a bit different. We (parents of children with sn) have a lot to contribute to discussions. And I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't want to be shoved off to the side as a Parent Of An SN Child. I want to be out there, with everyone.

I hate that Holland piece.

Almost as much as I hate it when I mention my children have autism and I get

1. "Oh, they're really good at maths, aren't they? I saw ....." answers on a postcard please
2. "What's their special skill?" (only acceptable reply - "they can fly" )

MmeLindor... Yes of course, I didn't mean to be prescriptive - SN or non-SN children. Anybody can mention any part of their lives they choose to.

dittany... I wasn't doubting them and don't recall saying anywhere that I did. I took a bit of time with my response to you, explaining the complexities (for me) in unwittingly 'sweeping up' other posters' circumstances in an opinion.

I just posted this on the other thread, it pretty much sums up my opinion:

There is never going to be complete equality on thread or post deletions. For the simple reason that different MHHQers will have different tolerance levels.

Which is why it is important to have a general policy.

If nr is deemed racially offensive, then r*d should be deemed equally offensive.

I reported a poster with the name R***Rus but since heard that the poster was still posting. That is not on.

MNHQ need to work with some of the posters on the SN board and agree to some guidelines. Which words are offensive. What comments will not be tolerated. When posts should be deleted, when they should be left to stand but a warning given, both on the thread, and in an email to the poster.

..

And I would add:

If the posters from SN board feel welcomed and accepted on the general board, that their concerns are being listened to, then they are less likely to take offence at comments that were posted innocently. It is the perceived injustice that makes them oversensitive, and the fact that they are fighting this battle at home, in RL, in the supermarket, in theme parks, in school. It must be bloody exhausting.

And they need us to get their backs

(to use a wooohaaaa American expression)

MrsC... and the diamonds, Holland has lots and lots of diamonds.

at the Holland thing.

How on earth you stop yourselves from slapping the sender of such rot with a cold wet fish, I don't know.