To have a night out with out DH

[heathermumof3]

Next Friday I am going to see a very known stand up. I am going with a couple of girls from work. However they are wanting to have a few drinks before and after. Normally if we go out my DH comes with me just down to the local.

Now if I do manage to get out I normally get my parents to watch the kids. This is so the DH does not pull his face and also I can have a little lie in to get over a hangover over.

But next Friday my mum can't watch the kids. My DH says he us fine going to the stand up but does not want me having a drink after as I he says I shouldn't be late home.

I'm gutted as looking forward to letting my hair down a little. AIBU to want to stay out a little late and have a few drinks.

[eurochick]

I have just seen this thread for the first time but agree with what most other people are saying about him being a controlling twat.

Also, why is it that usually when you go out your parents have to look after the kids and this situation seems to have blown up this time when he is being asked to look after his own children.

Go out next Friday, have fun and work on developing your backbone - for your own good as well as that of your kids.

[Anniegetyourgun]

I used to be married to one of those. About once every second month I'd go out for a pizza with a bunch of ex-colleagues, might have a glass or two of wine if I wasn't driving (I'm a very moderate drinker ), and would be home by 11.30 at the latest. It would be the third degree, how many men will be there, don't come home pissed, don't give your handbag to any strangers to hold, and the old chestnut I'm only saying this because I worry about you. After the event it would be the third degree all over again, with special reference to what male persons might have been present.

Note the "used to be married".

[ike1]

Dont give your handbag to strangers to hold????? Thats just soooooo crazily odd

[heathermumof3]

We have spoken and where working through it. He knows he was in the wrong. It was nothing to do with not coming home drunk and making a noise it was not staying out late.

Divorce is the last resort. So hopefully with talking and trying to sort out our differences it will not come to that.

Thank you all.

[buzzskillington]

As long as it's not you doing all the compromising and apologising.

[MardyArsedMidlander]

Jeez even my Dad used to let me stay out late....

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

He does sounds to me Heather like a man who just doesn't want to look after his own kids.

If you go out they have to go to your mums, he won't look after them the next morning and of course the other read that I mentioned earlier where he didn't want to stay in hospital with his sick child. I'm betting there has been more.

Sometimes it's not what the problem is this time but what it all adds up to together. If I were you I would think back, make a list if it helps and think if this is really likely to change because if it's been going on for years then I can't see it happening.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

It was nothing to do with not coming home drunk and making a noise it was not staying out late.

So what the fuck is it to do with? His insecurities? Funny how many controlling twats are usually sad inadequate little tossers, yet women still fall for them and their bullshit.

First and foremost you are your own person, and you should never compromise your integrity in order to fulfil the various roles that you are required to play in your life and in those of others.

[bringbacksideburns]

What on earth does he think would happen after 12, that couldn't happen before??

It is really important not not live in each others pockets and to go out occasionally independently, i feel. If he can't cope with this ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR then he has a problem and he needs to stop resenting/controlling the time you spend with your friends.

If you don't get him to address this now, it will get much worse.