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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a night out with out DH

109 replies

heathermumof3 · 10/09/2011 21:28

Next Friday I am going to see a very known stand up. I am going with a couple of girls from work. However they are wanting to have a few drinks before and after. Normally if we go out my DH comes with me just down to the local.

Now if I do manage to get out I normally get my parents to watch the kids. This is so the DH does not pull his face and also I can have a little lie in to get over a hangover over.

But next Friday my mum can't watch the kids. My DH says he us fine going to the stand up but does not want me having a drink after as I he says I shouldn't be late home.

I'm gutted as looking forward to letting my hair down a little. AIBU to want to stay out a little late and have a few drinks.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 10/09/2011 22:01

oh for god's sake just tell him to fuck the fuck off and get a life

TidyDancer · 10/09/2011 22:01

Er, he's a knob.

HTH.

Sandalwood · 10/09/2011 22:03

What does he mean about lock the door, leave the keys?
Does he just mean he won't be waiting up? Well that's fine isn't it?
But, don't you have your own key?

missmogwi · 10/09/2011 22:04

What the fuck?
Tell him to piss off, what happens if you aren't in by 12?

AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 22:04

If she did hully, he'd probably ask her why she hadn't tidied her room up yet.

BluddyMoFo · 10/09/2011 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buzzskillington · 10/09/2011 22:05

OK, so he makes life so uncomfortable you tend to give up things you want to do, he doesn't like you having friends and he throws moodies. Man's a controlling arse. Don't put up with it.

AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 22:05

I thought the OP meant he'd leave the key in the door so her key wouldn't go in the lock Sandal?

Dialsmavis · 10/09/2011 22:05

So, is he happy for you to stay out past midnight if the DC are with your Mum? If so, he can presumably sleep well enough then. What a dick. It really isn't OK to live like this, this behaviour usually escalates. Are you a SAHM by any chance?

Dialsmavis · 10/09/2011 22:07

Sorry just seen you work, it's just that some men (in the loosest sense of the word obviously) tend to try and pull these tricks if they are the bread winner.

Original poster
heathermumof3 · 10/09/2011 22:25

If he leaves the keys in I can't get my key in the door so there far be locked out. He is a arse an I have called him a controlled freak a few times Angry

If my parents have the kids and I go out on my own he still wants me in early. He says this is not a unreasonable request. But I do think it is unreasonable.

He has gone to bed in a sulk. The argument escalated to other things. I can not be arsed with his attitude any more. I either want him to change his attitude or fuck off. He is like this every time (which is not many) when I want to go out. He causes arguments so then I say fuck it I'm not going.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 10/09/2011 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TidyDancer · 10/09/2011 22:31

I'll put this as simply as I can.

I could not stay married to someone who treats me like your DH treats you. He is an arsehole and he is treating you like you are his property. You are not.

I so rarely say this, but DIVORCE HIM.

AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 22:31

Does he acknowledge he shouldn't be treating you like this when you call him a control freak heather?

Or does he just brush how you feel off?

pictish · 10/09/2011 22:31

Well his tactics work well, don't they? You give up on what YOU want to do to keep him sweet.

It's not on.

Original poster
heathermumof3 · 10/09/2011 22:32

Couldn't stay out all night not fair on the kids. If I am ment to be there in the morning for them I will. Even when I'm there slightly hung over.

OP posts:
pictish · 10/09/2011 22:34

Their father will be there. Hmm

Dialsmavis · 10/09/2011 22:34

But why can't their Father be there for them in the morning? I don't understand how that is unfair? Smile

BluddyMoFo · 10/09/2011 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
heathermumof3 · 10/09/2011 22:36

Think divorce is a little harsh. Just need to work it out. What would my grounds be on the divorce because I could not stay out late. Also i would want to try and make our marriage work. As much as he is a wanker arse hole and complete twat I do love him. This love is my biggest down fall.

Sorry for the language. Blush

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/09/2011 22:37

'If I am ment to be there in the morning for them I will.'

Do you mean 'meant to' as in he's told you what you're expected to do?

TrillianAstra · 10/09/2011 22:38

Someone who would threaten to lock you out of the house is a wanker and an arsehole and a twat.

Original poster
heathermumof3 · 10/09/2011 22:40

I was meaning to say I would be heart broken if my children thought I stayed out all night and did not come home. In other words when they get up to did I am not there and for them to ask DH where I am and him not to know. If that makes sense.

OP posts:
BlowHole · 10/09/2011 22:40

My ex was like that.
He was a controlling arse. I wasted 9 years of my life on him and his whining.
I still regret it.

pictish · 10/09/2011 22:41

My kids know fine I stay out all night - they don't care cos their dad's there to sort them out. What's the biggy?