to ask How would you change your childs life for the better?

[RosemaryandThyme]

Hello - have realised that my children's lives and my own have been stuck in a rut for a while.
I'd like to improve our lives but am at a loss as to where to begin, and am desperately in need of inspiration.
AIBU to ask :
What things are childhood essentials for you ?
What things are you aiming towards for your families ?
Thank you

Well in what way do you consider them to be lacking or going without?

I think my dd has a pretty nice life, of course family time is important, healthy diet and I think reading together is a top essential for a primary age child.

Thank you Changing
I've three (6,4,2) agree with your suggestions, money is always a concern for us I do often feel that other familes are doing more fun things, holidays, clubs, nicer homes, a bedroom each, more playtime and playdates.
Othe parents seem to have planned better/more long-term than me ideas of what schools children will progress to, plans to return to work - I feel than we're often making it up as we go along.

Spending time together outdoors. Walks, paddling in rivers, going for picnics, none of which cost any money.

Reading together

Having at least one meal a day at the dining table with telly off each day.

Snuggling on sofa watching a dvd together.

Discipline and boundries, fundamental to a happy life

Respect, no shouting/hitting agression.

Everyone mucking in as a team...we all have jobs to do in the home, we each have expected jobs to do.

time apart from each other on individual interests.

friends also feature heavily in our life.

there you go, thats what happens in our house anyway.

Plenty of one to one time

Cooking together, pitching in with jobs suitable to age

Supporting homework and reading together

Talking at meal times with TV off (except at weekends)

Playing games together whether on the wii or board games

Individual interests too. DS1 does drama and ds2 wants to do tennis

Having time together just DH and I which the boys are aware of and respect

Family challenges - we are in the middle of an eco/no random spending challenge and the boys join in too

That is what we do.

Not a lot of money spent though

Just - I'm welling up here ! - thank you!

you dont need money

you need lots of love, lots of laughing, lots of time spent together enjoying things you both enjoy

Everything justhe1 said! The best BEST days we have are when we don't spend any money at all. Just chilling, messing in the garden, eating when we feel like it and snuggling in bed with the biscuit tin watching back to back home alone!

Oh, and I feel like I'm making it up as I go along when it comes to school and swimming lessons etc, but then I look around and realise most other parents are in the same boat, worrying about their children's fit in the class, social standing and finding the money for school shoes the week before term starts! Don't worry, I'm sure your children think you are the best mum ever x

Awwww - your the best - am smiling for the first time today.

Hi Rosemary,
well it's bunk beds in our rather small house.

As others have said you don't need to have lots of money to have fun.
Feeding the ducks, splashing in puddles, torch with a book in bed, fun walks, playing in the garden. My ds had fun today making things float above the vac cleaner vent screeches of joy! Supermarket cafes are not usually expensive for a treat -you can go take pencils and paper. Train spotting if you have little boys and trains near by!!
Had a glass of wine so may need to think again when had coffee.
I am sure you are a great and fun mum.

justhe1 has summed up what I would have said.

It's the little things, trying to spend a little bit of time each day with each of them individually (my youngest 3 are the same age as yours).

I try and get goals for them; teach them to swim/catch a ball/learn their letters/

their favourite things are free: me playing with them, reading or cooking with them, walking in the woods, going to the park,

I try and have a few rules; no hitting/ only one hour of screentime a day/being kind but at the end of the day let them be.

and as a parent the most important thing to me is being loving. consitent and not shouting too often...

to me childhood essentials are , knowing you are loved and wanted, knowing that you can trust your parents to be there for you and havign the opportunity to pursue your own interests as you get older.

I aim for my family if I had to pick one aim it would be for my children to know that they can explore the world, live their lives etc BUT always give them a support and if needed somewhere safe and loving to come. This is based on the fact that i dont have this and my main dream is to see my children grow up and be there to help when they need it. I dont want them to feel alone in the world. ever.

and very importantly time for yourself (and together with your DP if you have one)

... and there is nothing wrong with making things up as you go along.
Chin up Rosemary...

LOVE - planning and having money are no substitute. If you love your children they will thank you forever and grow up to love you back and to be secure and happy people.

If I could change my sons lives for the better it would be to give them a magic pill to cure them Of Fragile X Syndrome so they would be accepted into society and were able to live 'normal' lives without needing 24/7 supervision.

special summer holidays and special Christmas holidays - you have so few, yet you remember them nostalgically forever.

Special doesn't have to cost...days out together, sharing a box of chocolates in front of a film, picnics in the garden, making Christmas cards together for family and friends, playing games together, chucking fallen leaves about in autumn, collecting and playing with conkers, putting wellies and coats on and getting absolutely soaked in the rain/puddles then having a warm bath and hot chocolate, baking, growing tomatoes/lettuce/cucumbers (in pots if necessary)...

Enjoy your wine 2Boys ! (here's hoping it's from a vinyard and not the hedge-gathered elderberry home-brew we're lumbered with here !)

These ideas are heart-warming to me - I thought folks would say DisneyLand and private school.
Thanks so much - I'm going to print this off!

just give them your time and love, they don't need tons of money spent on them

Hope you are ok unpa1dcar3r.

• Lots of picnics - we find them more fun than meals out!
• Visits to the park, feeding ducks, kicking football about
• Baking
• Lots of reading books (for fun!)
• Going on walks/nature hunts/mini beast hunts/pond dipping
• Jigsaws/board games
• TV restricted to an hour a day (occasionally extended for a film)
• Shopping with child kept to a minimum (I do most of it online)
• swimming (just for fun, not lessons)
• no organised groups thus far

We don't do the above because of limited funds - we just want our son to have a similar upbringing to the one we had. He's only 4 but it seems to be working so far.

Bet your elderberry stuff potent though Rosemary!

Unconditional love
Security
Time
Communication
Magic
Being part of the community
Allowing them to take risks,have responsibility and independence.

You don't need DisneyLand, Private schools and material goods.

Sorry, should have added education as a top priority for my family

Oh unpa, thank you for sharing, sending gentle kisses to your boys.

Oh yes.. magic is important. Lots of stories - even ones you make up maybe involving their favourite toys going on adventures...