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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask How would you change your childs life for the better?

76 replies

RosemaryandThyme · 09/09/2011 21:15

Hello - have realised that my children's lives and my own have been stuck in a rut for a while.
I'd like to improve our lives but am at a loss as to where to begin, and am desperately in need of inspiration.
AIBU to ask :
What things are childhood essentials for you ?
What things are you aiming towards for your families ?
Thank you

OP posts:
unpa1dcar3r · 09/09/2011 22:02

Thanks 2boys and Rosemary. I'm good 2 boys just knackered and a bit...ya know. Thanks for the kisses Rosemary, they'll love them Smile

TheHumanCatapult · 09/09/2011 22:03

mines simple . I would make sure that there is better understanding of people with special needs and disablitys .That would be the one thing to make his life better

unpa1dcar3r · 09/09/2011 22:05

Wish there was a 'like' button on here like on FB Human, cos I'd give you a 'like' for that post!!!

exoticfruits · 09/09/2011 22:06

I think magic is essential-I can't believe all those people who are so prosaic -I can only think that they had parents who weren't very good at it.

ChristinedePizan · 09/09/2011 22:08

R&T - how are you? What do you want to change? And no, material things aren't everything but I get the feeling you want to experience a wider world. Am I right?

inmysparetime · 09/09/2011 22:09

I'd make it so DS didn't have a milk allergy and we could just go out for meals without checking everything. Also he could have cheese, ice cream, yoghurt etc. and we could get him a normal birthday cake for a change.

Original poster
RosemaryandThyme · 09/09/2011 22:15

Yes ! Christinede - experience a wider world - more so for my children but maybe a little for me too.
(splashing in a river, eating in Asda Cafe and watching trains go by will be a great start, now for some magic....)

OP posts:
AutumnWitch · 09/09/2011 22:15

For me, to give up the job that took me away from them from 7.30 am to 6 p.m. and large chunks of weekends and left me exhausted, stressed and miserable.

I did - they have their mummy back, so much of the above is now possible

inmysparetime · 09/09/2011 22:15

Just read the post properly. I can't think of anything that I would change, my family has enough crazy fun as it is. Wouldn't it be great if we could all have the time to play like kids need to play. Then again, working in a day nursery, I get to play even at workSmile.

SeniorWrangler · 09/09/2011 22:19

I make sure they have as much home cooked food as I can find the energy to make, and fresh air every day. We eat formal dinner round the table almost every night, as well as Sunday roasts, and have a good family gossip at the same time. Their grandad often visits and stays with us. I read them bedtime stories and library books, and make sure they have thorough bath/shower times and have clean, trimmed nails, clean hair, well cared for teeth and so on. I dress them quite nicely (albeit in good quality hand me downs a lot of the time) and they wear polished shoes. I teach them to care for the house and for each other, and they do light chores. I talk to them and their friends a lot and spend time making things with them and going on little trips to the pool, park, blackberry picking, local free museums and so on. I allow consoles, internet and TV for a few hours a day - more when it's raining, less in good weather. Once or twice a year we go on a trip to a theme park or whatever, usually paid for with Tesco vouchers. In terms of aspiration, I want them to be functional adults able to have fulfilling family lives of their own, to be well-educated, to be healthy, and to come and see me once in a while when they are grown up.

ChristinedePizan · 09/09/2011 22:19

Can you do it? Take the kids somewhere for tea after you pick them up from school? I hate to think of you feeling trapped :( It's not right you know

2BoysTooLoud · 09/09/2011 22:23

I know healthy eating important but the things my kids love best from their supermarket cafe kids box are the hoola hoops- put them on fingers/ balance on straws etc.. the joy of a hoola hoop!

Original poster
RosemaryandThyme · 09/09/2011 22:26

HumanCatapult - yesturday my 4 year tried to make a friend at school, he asked another 4 year old boy to play (both new to reception).
The little boy flung his arms about and kicked my son.
My son cried, my older son came to him and explained that it was ok because it was just how x communicated and he would love to be friends too. x has Downs.
The three boys played together really nicely, I was so proud of x's mum for taking the brave step of sending him to mainstream school.
My son was so happy to see x in the playground this morning, they held hands and went in to hang their coats up together, a tiny step for disability awareness, a huge leap for two small boys.

OP posts:
Original poster
RosemaryandThyme · 09/09/2011 22:31

Chritinede - I can, I must and I will.

OP posts:
2BoysTooLoud · 09/09/2011 22:33

Good luck Rosemary.

chocolatespiders · 09/09/2011 22:34

I have often thought I dont do enough.

I do try and go for walks- this time of year is great for conkers, and beautiful coloured leafs to stick on paper.

When it gets dark really early during the autumn we go on spooky walks with torches- just round the estate but it goes down well.

Also sometimes when making lunch I just shove it all in a bag and take it to the park or woods and sit outside to have it- a picnic doesn't have to be lots of extra stuff or cost.

lisad123 · 09/09/2011 22:35

time, thats all they need x

ChristinedePizan · 09/09/2011 22:37

Good luck too. We're all here for you xx

Confuseddd · 09/09/2011 22:46

This thread made me cry!

I would be calm with them, place silly games and listen to what they have to say. Also have a few games/ songs/ stories up my sleeve that will inspire them. And lots of love and affection.

Original poster
RosemaryandThyme · 09/09/2011 22:46

Life Begins....I will not be afraid.... I will not be afraid... x

OP posts:
LikeACandleButNotQuite · 09/09/2011 22:54

Will be adding to our family of me, DH and two cats in Dec, and am keen to ensure the following:

  • bedtime story every night
  • camping holidays
  • politeness to all
  • be able to entertain themselves
  • that they can ask us anything / tell us anything
  • appreciation for their posessions, irespective of quantity, quality or cost
2BoysTooLoud · 10/09/2011 07:27

Morning Rosemary,
baby steps, baby steps. I am sure there is a lot of good in your lifestyle. You must extend your boundaries [if you want] at your pace and what you feel comfortable with.
Have your kids collected conkers yet? My ds could hardly walk his pockets were so full the other day. He just likes to have them. We will be finding them in various states of decay around the house for months!

Proudnscary · 10/09/2011 07:30

Stability
Continuity
Emotional affection
Physical affection
Time

rogersmellyonthetelly · 10/09/2011 09:53

I spent most of my time between age 6 and 12 either up a tree, playing with my gang, making dens, catching tadpoles and those little shrimp thingys and sticklebacks in jars, grubbing in the hedgerows, picking peas from the edge of the farmers fields, riding up and down the street on my bike, roller skating, basically I lived for playing out. We did it all year round except in really bad weather. My mum was at home and we did go out from time to time, but mostly I preferred to be out with my friends. That's what I remember, freedom. It was fab. We have just moved to a house which has it's own playing field attached to the estate, complete with bushes to make dens in, trees to climb and it also has proper goal posts, my kids (5 and almost 7) are in paradise here.

duchesse · 10/09/2011 10:10

Things essential for children imo:

-Feeling loved (crucial) and listened to by parents --> makes them confident and secure

-Time to do some things at their own pace but also requirement to take part in family life and be part of the team--> develops their own love of learning and their ability to play along with others

-Less screen time (dismal fail in my family now although did achieve it until they were teenagers)--> develops their ability to entertain themselves

-Less "stuff" and more making do--> develops their coping skills