Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

more of an "am I being pfb"

60 replies

RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:25

DD1 just started reception. She only turned 4 a couple of weeks ago and has never done more than 9.30-12.30 at pre school.

she's pt throughout september, afternoons this week and next, then mornings, then mornings plus lunch then should be going ft.

but I want her to stay on just mornings until after xmas. the school aren't keen on that and the other mums would rather their children were ft straight away.

am I being pfb to worry about her getting over tired? I'm on mat leave with DD2 so there's no rush for her to be going for childcare reasons.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:28

To be honest, August birthday or not..they all get tired as they're only little.

I really think she'd do much better if she's on a par with the rest of the class. It's a weird and sometimes scary feeling having to let go...but really it's the same for them all and the teachers know this and will be able to deal with it I'm sure.

Tommy · 08/09/2011 23:28

she may get tired but don't forget, the school day is still quite short - she'll be home by 3.30. If you don;t send her full time til after Christmas and the rest of the class are all in f/t, she'll miss out on loads of stuff

My DS is an August baby - he was very tired for the first term but he got used to it!

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 23:29

I don't understand pfb. But is she happy? Myboys both only did pre-school mornings before they started school and though thoroughly knackered at the end of the full school day, it worked for them to be full time straight away... the school starts all reception children on full time, they know its tiring, it IS tiring but it seems to work.

I will say that my boys are both October kids so among the oldest in their year, but the youngest seemed to also get used to the new routine by the end of the first term.

festi · 08/09/2011 23:30

I think she will miss out on a lot of learning and the general life and school environment if you keep her just mornings. This is going by dd when she was in reception, she thrived on her "day" at school, she was generaly exhausted, emotional and like a bear with a sore head when I collected her. She would have a snack then perk up. The secret is also dont ask her too much of what she has been doing if she does not want to tell you too much when she first comes out. My dd would open up and start her own conversation by bed time.

eaglewings · 08/09/2011 23:30

More upsetting o not be part of what others are doing

Here they start full time straight away and if they are really tired teacher will suggest they do half day next day

Neither of mine ever needed to come home early, both summer birthdays

thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:32

no, not pfb. you know her better than the school. she doesn't have to legally be in full time education until she is 5, so you can keep her part-time as long as you like.

so talk to the teacher, and do what you think is best. they may be willing for you to do a mix? some full days and some part, to see how she gets on?

ouryve · 08/09/2011 23:32

She'll be fine.

The foundation unit at my kids' school has a nice comfy sofa that is often occupied by random afternoon nappers. Both of my boys have had a sleep on it, even though one of them gave up naps on his 2nd birthday!

lazylula · 08/09/2011 23:32

YANBU and the school has to accommodate your wishes. I have researched this alot after the change to one intake per year (plus I know this from working in a school for 8 years). Ds2 is 4 at the end of June and I am considering keeping at pre school for an extra term.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:33

seems like I just need to toughen up a bit and send her ft, you're all making a lot of sense.

it's hard though when a lot of her friends are still on half days at pre school, not even going everyday.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:33

i don't agree that she'll miss out btw, a LOT of schools do part-time until christmas for ALL children with summer birthdays.
ours certainly does and it's the same with all but 2 schools in our town afaik.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:33

Actually I'm almost sure the school here wouldn't allow it?

You either send your child from 8.55am to 3pm or you find another school.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:34

thisisyesterday I think she'd miss out because she would be the only one not doing the full day.

I'm sure that would alienate her and she would have no idea of the class routine IYSWIM

thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:35

worra, the school HAVE to allow it. the child is under 5 and as such does not have to attend at all if OP doesn't want her to
they can not take away a place once it has been offered either.

they can kick up a stink over it, but tehy can't force children to go full time before they are 5

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 23:35

As all children are different I guess you need to go with school policy and see if it works, if it doesn't maybe you can then negotiate something that does work??

thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:36

my ds1 did half days til christmas, he didn't miss out... i don't think he even really noticed Confused

i think it all depends on the child, and the OP knows her little girl better than us, and the school.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:37

maybe just a half day on a wednesday to recuperate?

I think I'm clutching at straws now,,,

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:38

thisisyesterday sorry but you're wrong.

In the school I'm a Gov at...you can only start your child under the age of 5 if you are willing to stick to the school's schedule. If you're not, then you are welcome to apply for a place when the child is 5...should there be a place still available.

They can't and won't have children wandering in and out as their parents please.

MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:40

I'm worried that once she does that first week of ft it'll be hard to go back to pt again, even if I don't think she's coping.

I'm worried the teacher will thnk I'm silly and preciuos and will say she' fine even if I think shes not.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:40

no, i am sorry but you are wrong.

once a child has been given a place the school can not take it away.

it is not a legal requirement for a child to be in FT education until they are 5.

Nanny0gg · 08/09/2011 23:40

The school cannot possibly plan lessons for children if some are part- and some full-time.
Of course your child doesn't have to be at school till they're 5, so if you don't want them at school at the times the school offers, keep them at pre-school.

avoider · 08/09/2011 23:41

The ones that went half time before xmas in our school were behind on the reading front by the summer. It's not a problem in reception but by year one they do seem to know what levels they are on. If it were my dc, I would deal with the tiredness and let them get the teaching.

thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:41

you could technically have a place at a school and then just not send them at all until they turn 5.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:42

it is not a legal requirement for a child to be in FT education until they are 5

Exactly! So if the child doesn't stick to school rules and school policy, they are out the door and are welcome to come back when they are five..should there be a place available.

Parents can not dictate to the school the hours they wish their kids to attend...it's not a free babysitting service.