Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

more of an "am I being pfb"

60 replies

RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:25

DD1 just started reception. She only turned 4 a couple of weeks ago and has never done more than 9.30-12.30 at pre school.

she's pt throughout september, afternoons this week and next, then mornings, then mornings plus lunch then should be going ft.

but I want her to stay on just mornings until after xmas. the school aren't keen on that and the other mums would rather their children were ft straight away.

am I being pfb to worry about her getting over tired? I'm on mat leave with DD2 so there's no rush for her to be going for childcare reasons.

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 08/09/2011 23:42

robyn, allow her to go full time, but if it becomes a problem them go down the route of part time school.

does your DD have a nap in the afternoons any more

MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:43

I'm also really sad that our quiet afternoons are over forever Sad

most the parents here work so I guess I should make it v clear to her teacher that I don't and s it's easy for her to be pt if needed.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:44

worraliberty i suggest you ask the school next time you are in because YOU ARE WRONG!

they cannot take a place away once it has been accepted!!!
so if I accept a place for my child, I can then just not send him/her until he/she turns 5

the school CANNOT just kick a child out because they don't go full-time at some arbitrary point on a calendar.

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 23:44

OP, she may well struggle for the first couple of weeks, its a major adjustment. But I really do believe that MOST kids adjust well and the school is prepared, they've seen it all before, most schools are sympathetic.

You're right, you can't go back. But you can support your dd by allowing the weekendsand evenings to be gentle.... after the holidays, both boys have been ASKING to go to bed at 6.30pm, usually they beg to stay up. For these next few weeks, they're not going to out of school clubs, I'm cooking an early tea, and letting them 'veg out' after school.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:46

she dropped her afternoon nap at 2.5, so ages ago now.

It's just that even this week, only being there 2 hours in the afternoons, she's shattered.

shes so excited and ethusiastic about school and learning, I really don't want her to get switched off by being over tired.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:46

there are plenty of schools out there who recognise that a child who is too tired to learn is better off at home for a bit longer.

I seem to recall that lockets' dd3 went part-time for quite a while as she has a late summer birthday. they could decide literally the day before whether she would be in the next day.

it's a nice school that can put the needs of the child first, rather than having a one-size fits all approach IMO

busymummy3 · 08/09/2011 23:49

Think this is more about you than your child. Just let her go to school as normal with the rest of her class she cant stop a baby forever

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:49

I'm not really worried about her getting behind in reading levels etc, I was an august baby who didn't read till she was 8, but I left education with stacks of gcses/alevels/a first/an ma (and I know my typing isn't displaying my intelligence atm but I'm feeding DD2 as I type...)

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/09/2011 23:50

Mmm yes, when children get really tired because they're only just 4... nearly a year younger than some kids in the class, that's cos their mum wants them to stay a baby forever.

jeez. she's just a little kid!

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:53

it is a bit about me, yes, but mostly it's about her. I really want her to enjoy school and I just don't want her getting exhausted and not enjoying it.

I'm trying to separate my feelings about it all as much as possible.

OP posts:
busymummy3 · 08/09/2011 23:54

exactly a little kid like all the other little kids with her in reception I just think it is better to start school straight away more or less instead of dragging it out for months

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:55

Errrm yes they can because the parent accepts the place on the basis they will adhere to the school times.

If they suddenly decide the times and the policies don't suit them, they'll be told to go elsewhere.

Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:56

I'm so new to this whole school thing, I'm not even really sure how we get to talk to the teacher about these things, she can't have discussions with every parent in the mornings.

Do I put a note in her book bag maybe?

OP posts:
Original poster
RobynLou · 08/09/2011 23:58

worral - they won't at DDs school - I know one august baby who went pt till easter last year. the school allowed it but her mum had to fight quite hard for it.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:58

"they cannot take a place away once it has been accepted!!!
so if I accept a place for my child, I can then just not send him/her until he/she turns 5"

And sorry but that's rubbish too.

It takes 2 months (legally) to take a child off the school role because they haven't attended and given an acceptable reason why.

The fact a parent doesn't fancy sending them til they turn five is not an acceptable reason I'm afraid.

Soups · 08/09/2011 23:58

I'd go with the school, keep them in the school routine and see how it goes. They are all tired when they first start, I went into reception a couple of times to see a child who'd fallen asleep for a short snooze. They were put into the book corner with a cushion! Both of mine would come home, flop and stare vacantly at the tv for the first month. However it did pass quite quickly and they got used to it.

When she goes full time, if the tiredness does cause behavioural problems within home or the classroom, then you can always bring it up later. One of my children didn't settle too well at reception and initial discussions had started about keeping him part time for longer, however it wasn't required in the end. It was a policy of that school to consider children staying part-time for longer, they laid it out at the parents induction. They also said that it was hardly ever necessary, I'm sure they had the odd child who really did need short days for longer.

busymummy3 · 08/09/2011 23:59

Make an appointment to see your Headteacher as far as I remember you can defer your child starting school until the TERM in which she reaches 5. If not taken by then school can give place to another child you will have to apply again.

worraliberty · 09/09/2011 00:00

Sorry OP, I've take your thread off on a bit of a tangent by answering thisisyesterday's posts Blush

That's ok if the school has that policy..but really imo you're better off not making her 'stand out' from the others if you can help it, because school can be hard enough for some kids.

Best of luck in your choice though

magpieC · 09/09/2011 00:02

My friend is a reception teacher and she says that they actively encourage the younger ones to only do half days to start with as they're so little. However many of their parents disregard this as it makes childcare arrangements harder.

festi · 09/09/2011 00:02

You need to probably go to the office and request to make an appointment to speak to the teacher about lenghthy things. however I would suggest going to the office and requesting an apt with the head about this. other general day to day things are best to talk with the teacher at the end of the day rather than the morning.

Mowlem · 09/09/2011 00:02

Robyn,
There was a new law introduced this year which protects your right as a parent to demand that your child goes part time until the term after they are five. You do not need to 'fight it', it is your right. It is the law.

The details are in the 2010 schools admissions code and became effective this september. If you pm me, I can send you a copy of that advice.

I'm sure if you show them the statutory guidance and explain about your child's tiredness (and therefore desire to go part time) they'll be fine (well, they can't do anything else Grin)

Original poster
RobynLou · 09/09/2011 00:02

I think the deferring issue is separate to the pt one btw - parents do now have the right to defer a child's place until the term after they're 5, but not into the next school year - we could've deferred until easter but if we wanted to defer until next sept we'd have to reapply.

once you've started though it's down to the individual school whether they allow pt-ers or not.

we didn't want to defer because I have very clear memories of starting after xmas when everyone else knew each other and that being horrible.

OP posts:
busymummy3 · 09/09/2011 00:03

Agree with worraliberty think about the bigger picture her making friends etc will be harder if she is not with friendship groups etc because youare sendingherto school part time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread