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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my house purchaser is a ....

145 replies

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 22:16

full on mentalist?

There are so many things to tell you I need to drip feed them. First, I warned her that as it is a very old house there are bats in the attic, as there are in most old country houses. You never see them, except outside, at dusk. You never hear them. But they are there, and they are protected. She asked if she could come and stand in my loft with a torch to see if any of them swooped around her, because she couldn't cope if they did, and she was worried they might escape into the house.

Then there were the gyspies that we don't have. Our house is surrounded by privately owned (not by us) land. She started to worry that our next door neighbour who owns the land might allow gypsies onto it. Hmm I said that the very reason he bought the land around his house (some from the farmer and some from the church) is to make sure that gypsies wouldn't go on it at any point in the future. Keeping some control, see? I have never seen a gypsy within ten miles of here. But still she fretted. And fretted.

And there is more......

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 08/09/2011 23:20

Mentalist.

ColdSancerre · 08/09/2011 23:21

Am fascinated.

Northernlurker · 08/09/2011 23:23

Wow!

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 23:23

So, I explained gently and in the manner of talking to a four year old that she (and all of her staff) must stay out of my house until after the money has gone through, and then she must give me at least until 12, but possibly longer to be able to get on with my own removals, before she starts sending people in.'

Then she said Oh my sofas are being delivered on Friday as well, and I know you'll think I'm mad, but my daughter really wants her new room pink, and my decorator is booked up for the next two weeks, but he's free on Friday, so he's going to come over at lunchtime to paint your son's room.

On. The. Day. They. Complete. She. Has. A. Decorator. In.

See. told you. Full on Mentalist.

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 08/09/2011 23:24

Ha ha x-posts.

This woman is nuts!

fedupofnamechanging · 08/09/2011 23:26

Don't let her touch it til the money clears!

Northernlurker · 08/09/2011 23:26

Just to keep everybody going whilst we wait for Fellatio to update:

When I was 10 and my sister 8 we moved house. At the end of the moving day the cow (OH YES) who bought our house arrived and went in whilst we loaded up the last few things. My sister's hands were grubby which was bothering her so mum sent her back into the house and said to ask Mrs Cow is she could just rinse them. Cow said ' No wait till you get home' - standing in the kitchen of the house which had been our home all our lives. My v calm mother was livid.

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 23:27

Oh, and PS, forgot to say, she rang this morning to say could I please make sure I turn the boiler back on today as she's quite sure that neither she nor her husband will be able to do it, and could I run the heating for her, to warm the house up, because she really feels the cold. And if I can't do it could I just find anyone who looks like a plumber and ask them to do it for me. and if I can't find a plumber type person then could I phone her so she can book one.

The boiler just has a switch called 'on' and you press it. Voila.

Told you. I win. IANBU.

OP posts:
LovelyCuppa · 08/09/2011 23:31

Does this woman do anything for herself? I am imagining her arriving with an entourage: cleaner, cook, garden, assorted tradespeople, manicurist, personal shopper, shoe-wearer-iner, bum-wiper...

ColdSancerre · 08/09/2011 23:33

YANBU

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 08/09/2011 23:33

Mental!

Northernlurker- cow is too gentle for someone like that!

The person who brought the psl we were living in was mental too, weird, weird questions and despite me showing him TWICE where the meters were he had letters sent through solicitors asking where, he draaaaagged it ok forever.

Sookeh · 08/09/2011 23:36

Only on mumsnet could I see a sentence like "much brow smoothing about bats and gypsies"

I love it here Grin

ColdSancerre · 08/09/2011 23:38

Sookeh I lurve your nickname!

nickschick · 08/09/2011 23:39

Fellatio has the man who squeezes her tea bags arrived yet?

betterwhenthesunshines · 08/09/2011 23:39

Please come back and let us know how moving day goes.
I wouldn't let her in til you get the OK from the solicitor though.....

... just a thought. If the sofas are delivered early, ie before 12, couldn't you have your removals company take them with you? As a kind of house-warming-leaving present :o

Sookeh · 08/09/2011 23:40

Thanks Sancerre Smile

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 23:45

What shall I do if they arrive before all monies have cleared and/or before twelve? I am within my rights to send them away, and they won't wait. She'll have to re-book for another day.

OP posts:
IgnoringTheChildren · 08/09/2011 23:46

So worth staying up past my bedtime for. Grin

YANBU - she's definitely a full on mentalist (and not in the good Simon Baker way). Hope that the move goes smoothly, however I suspect you may need to update us with more bonkers tales after tomorrow...

Northernlurker · 08/09/2011 23:49

If there is a room clear for them to go in I would let that happen - if that happens to be three sofas fitted in the downstairs loo or 4th floor attic bedroom then so be it Wink

Jjandthebean honestly if my mum and dad could have stopped the sale I think at that point they would have - so MEAN and hurtful and petty of her.

ColdSancerre · 08/09/2011 23:51

If they arrive before confirmation from your solicitor of completion then just don't let them in and suggest they contact their employer as to what they do. It isn't your problem, it's hers.

tallwivglasses · 08/09/2011 23:52

Give her a PO Box address and no other means of communication - or she'll be calling you at all hours for weeks to come ( how do you switch the boiler on again?) Shock

sunshinelifeisgood · 09/09/2011 00:23

OFFS please tell me the ending :)

Newbabynewmum · 09/09/2011 00:29

Just marking my place so I can see what happens on move in day. Stay safe OP, she sounds like a bloody nutter!

sunshinelifeisgood · 09/09/2011 00:34

have to go to bed but will be back in the morning good luck OP x please please update

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 09/09/2011 00:41

She sounds awful, and clearly has far too much time on her hands!

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