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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think baby showers are completely ridiculous?

279 replies

woowoo2 · 08/09/2011 10:31

I didn't have a baby shower (ds is 6 now) as it wasn't the 'done thing' back then. My real friends saw me throughout my pregnancy, picked up lovely little trinkets and outfits when the mood took them etc.

I didn't ever expect gifts or any sort of fuss, I mean - you have chosen to have a baby, surely the onus is on you to buy your moses basket etc (I have seen several given as gifts at baby showers and was Shock )

AIBU to think they are ridiculous, boring as hell and rather cheeky?

OP posts:
MistyMountainHop · 08/09/2011 16:07

oooh i hope they are not, i have organised a surprise one for my best friend for next saturday!

am off to read the whole thread.......

LikeACandleButNotQuite · 08/09/2011 16:09

A girl at work asked when I will be having a shower...I was Hmm and said, "what do you mean, do I smell?" was mortified.

Genuinely didn't realise she meant baby shower. It's just a really crappy excuse for presents in my opinion, ooooh, come to my house and spoil me and buy me gifts for the baby, and then when they are born you'll no doubt buy more as people dont like to come round empty handed.... no thanks.

Said to her, the week im due come round for hot curry, get the contractions started. That'll do for me.

roundtable · 08/09/2011 16:13

I've never seen a chocolate filled nappy, must try harder! Grin

I don't know if it's a Southern thing but wetting the baby's head where I live tends to be a more male event. However, I think I could be persuaded to have a glass of wine or two...all in the name of embracing traditions and cultures of course.

Anyway, baby showers are the least of anyones worries. Just be grateful period parties don't seem to have caught on! Grin

Insomnia11 · 08/09/2011 16:13

I think labelling baby showers as "ridiculous" is like saying "children's birthday parties are ridiculous". I mean, some might be, but you can't condemn the concept as a whole.

Becaroooo · 08/09/2011 16:21

OP: Only ever been to one...it was excructiating Stupid games and word searches and silly names on badges....awful. Think the MTB enjoyed it, which was the main thing, but I think generally they are tacky and the card and gift companies must LOVE it.

As for it being xenophobic to say they are "american"...how exactly??? They are Just as suddenly Halloween is a much bigger deal.....I am 38, I never went trick or treating or to a halloween party or carved pumpkins as a child...it was a total non-event in my youth and I am not sure why its suddenly such a big deal over here, other than its another american "traditional" import.....as with baby showers, if you like them, fine, but they are certainly an american "thang" that has been imported over here and I fail to see how it is xenophobic to say so!

Becaroooo · 08/09/2011 16:22

"period parties"????

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:24

I think the concept of baby showers as they've come to be known in the last few years (ie printed invites, silly games, present lists) is ridiculous, and likewise if you start using a silly term to refer to having a few friends round for tea and cake before the baby is born then you can expect ridicule - much the same way as the awful term 'play date' does.

littlemonkeybix · 08/09/2011 16:24

insomnia I disagree... only because we already had the "wetting the baby's head" tradition in our neck of the woods. To add another event is the ridiculous bit IMO. Which is not like saying kids birthday parties are ridiculous as they are already an established event.

It's like the "graduation" from each year of school that has crept in to some schools.... kind of takes away the excitement and impact of actually finishing your GCSE's, or A-levels or degree. It all starts to blend into one big fuzz.

Insomnia11 · 08/09/2011 16:26

I went trick or treating 30 years ago, so it may be an import, but only just later than Spaghetti Bolognase and Chicken Tikka Masala to my mind.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:28

It was called guising in our neck of the woods 30 odd years ago - ToT is a different animal. Never foget the burning smell of turnip lanterns

Insomnia11 · 08/09/2011 16:29

I've heard of "wetting the baby's head" but that's surely post birth and a masculine patting on the back virility-confirming thing? There is nothing traditionally celebratory for the mother or not where I'm from anyway. Makes sense in that case to do it pre-birth as she may be rather...occupied...afterwards.

Insomnia11 · 08/09/2011 16:30

I'd never heard of guising until about 5 years ago. Definitely trick or treat in Greater Manchester.

Thumbwitch · 08/09/2011 16:30

I'd be embarrassed if anyone did a "shower" for me, of any kind. Thankfully no one did so I evaded the mortification.
Lots of friends bought and brought me stuff for DS as and when - some before, some after his birth. It was all freely offered and gratefully received - and most of it was second or even third hand - didn't matter. Several people bought new baby clothes - that was lovely too - but they just brought them when they came around.

I didn't have a "bridal shower" or hen party either.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:32

Which is where the whole meet up with the mates thing comes into being (lets face it, we don't really need an excuse to do that!), but afaik the whole baby wetting thing doesn't involve stupid nappy games (well, not sober anyway!) or present lists or £s spend on paper tat

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:34

Oh god....'bridal showers'?? They're not here, are they?

Thumbwitch · 08/09/2011 16:35

I don't know about the UK but I'm in Australia now and they're definitely here...

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:38

Oh dearie me....they'll be hitting the UK shores soon, I can feel it in my water Sad

So how does it work - are presents expected there and at the wedding?

littlemonkeybix · 08/09/2011 16:43

oooh we did "Penny for the Guy" and limited trick or treating 30yrs ago... but at least penny for the guy you had to make something in order to get the returns!! Plus, I don't know where these originate from, but we ALWAYS did bobbing for apples (hung off strings) and duck apple (in a bowl of water)... and sorry maisie but I still love the smell of burnnig turnip lanterns!!

insomnia our wetting the head was usually the blokes in the pub, and the women in the house, but was always for both sexes. It's just progressed to all joining in together. But there's always going to be regional difference. The constant was it was always AFTER the birth... which went for a lot of any present giving (if there was any). Maybe that ties in with some of the superstitions others have mentioned.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 16:45

Noooo, burning turnip lanterns are the work of Lucifer!

HeidiKat · 08/09/2011 16:52

Turnips in general are the work of Lucifer, never could stand mashed turnip, yuk.

Insomnia11 · 08/09/2011 17:07

My parents bought the pram for us before DD1 was born but they kept it in their house until after the birth. But I didn't feel superstitious about baby clothes, you can't really, you need some in preparation, like a number of other items. Also quite a lot of the presents at the shower were for me, which was nice :)

Sn0wGoose · 08/09/2011 17:18

Loads of friends have done them, and I even know someone who threw their own Shock

I hate it, cringeworthy events, especially the awful party games and sitting around with people you've never met

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 08/09/2011 17:28

Heidi - agree with the mashed turnip. However, mashed carrot and turnip with butter and pepper is, for some reason, rather nice...

HappyMummyOfOne · 08/09/2011 18:09

Horiible things, really only done to get presents. People have been getting pregnant for years but nowadays seem to make a huge deal out of it such as throwing showers for somebody thats not here yet or getting out of housework/work etc,

notlettingthefearshow · 08/09/2011 18:22

It's a lovely idea if friends organise it and there's no gift list or pressure to spend loads. I've never been to one, to be honest - haven't noticed them catching on particularly.