To have been MORTIFIED for DSD this morning and to be quite angry with DP over it??

[SisterOfRome]

So first day back at school. DSD (13) gets ready and leaves the house wearing just the school polo shirt (as do all the kids at this school). The bus stop is literally across the road from the house so she walks over and stands with her friends. Also standing there is a big group of lads from the school and a few non-school passengers waiting for the bus.

It's a little chilly but not freezing - then it starts to spit with rain. In true "cool teen fasion" none of the kids at the bus stop put on their jumpers or rain coats.

Well, DP goes over to the window, mentions that she has no coat on, opens the front door and SHOUTS:

"DSD!! DSD!!"

EVERYONE looks towards the house. DSD's face goes white.

"DSD!! PUT ON YOUR COAT!"

She shakes her head and I could have just died for her.

"DSD PUT ON YOUR COAT NOW!"

The group of lads fall about laughing. DSD looks like she's about the burst into tears. Her friends are looking gobsmacked. Again she shakes her head.

"DSD YOU BETTER PUT THAT COAT ON RIGHT NOW BEFORE I COME AND DO IT FOR YOU! I DON'T CARE IF I'M EMBARRASSING YOU, GET YOUR COAT ON NOW".

I'm cringing. DSD's friends are cringing, the lads are in hysterics. DSD looks like her entire world is over. She reaches into her bag and puts on her coat. Her friends exchange glances and are trying very hard (and failing) not to laugh. DSD has tears in her eyes. Once her coat is on, DP slams the door.

I can't believe he did it. I know its HIS dd and none of my business but I actually thought that bordered on abuse.

AIBU??

And being cold can't give you a cold, but it can make it easier for you to catch one. My great-grandma was right. :)

"DSD!! PUT ON YOUR COAT!" this is how it started, this is at most a 2 on the embarassing scale of teenagdom. It escalated becasue she didn't listen. Hopefully next time she will. And to everyone who says she should know when she is cold/wet, yes she should and I suspect she did notice it was cold and raining so until she is mature enough to decide to stay dry and warm someone will have to tell her when to put a coat on

actually the teeth might border abuse cheerful just why!???

Sigh...that's just my Dad.

I think he sounds like a nasty, controlling shit.

southernfriedtofu it wasn't cold and wet. It was a little chilly and spotting with rain. So she wasn't going to catch pneumonia or dissolve in the rain. Some people may as well wrap their kids up in cotton wool and bubble wrap.

I was a right little punk minx at 13 ( nostalgic sigh ) I had orange hair and this rancid black army jacket about 20 sizes too big for me that I used to wear all the time, rain or shine ... My Dad hated it and used to roar at me to take it off before we went out because I was embarressing him ...

So what would people think if he had shouted this patronising tosh across the road to the OP? Interesting to see what posters in Relationships make of this.'Trying out' his control before he starts on an adult?

Oh no. That's mildly embarrassing. Shall I tell you what is a little bit more embarrassing regarding dads and coats and so forth?
Having your dad grumpily fasten your coat up for you, just because you have done the buttons up wrong, in a church hall with people passing. And then having the church warden deliberately calling over his offspring, who is your age and who has been bullying you, to witness this procedure. When you are 17 .
Or being offered a lollipop by a shop assistant because she thinks you're about 11 when you're 18 and you are in a bad mood.

or about this for embarrassing. When I was about 14 I forgot my gym knickers, you know those horrible blue nylon things we had to wear under netball skirts.

Anyway standing at the bus stop with my friends, the aloof fifth years and a lad I really really like and up comes my dad in his post office van (embarrassing enough) WAVING my gym knickers out the window and shouting sheep sheep, you will need these today its a bit nippy.

I was devastated.

Let her decide for herself!

so where do you draw the line what decisions are fine for her and those which she is too immature to make

Dexifehatz

So what would people think if he had shouted this patronising tosh across the road to the OP? Interesting to see what posters in Relationships make of this.'Trying out' his control before he starts on an adult?

Sorry but that makes no sense at all. I would think, stop trying to parent your wife you asshole. Because that's what he was doing "parenting". I tell dd what to eat, where to sleep, I even make her wear a diaper but hey she's 7 months old and not my partner, she's my kid.

I suspect he has even given her a curfew gasp, maybe he shouldn't do that because he can't give his wife one.

No sign of the OP? :o

From 11 onwards me and my sister both took two buses across town on our own to get to school. We waited at bus stops in the cold and rain in short skirts with [gasp] no coat on. Our mum's on words 'it's you that'll be cold'. Sometimes we decided to put our coats on, sometimes we didn't.

What your DP did this morning was extremely embarrassing for his DD and she will be teased for it whether she put her coat on straight away or not. At 13 she should be perfectly capable of deciding whether or not she ought to put her coat on. Would he seriously have gone across the street and manhandled her into her coat??

I am a strict parent in that I expect DS to respect me and do as I say, but I also encourage him to become independent and learn from his own mistakes. I also show him respect and would never shout across the street at him in front of his peers in the way your DP did.

Abuse?

FFS.

"Let her decide for herself!

so where do you draw the line what decisions are fine for her and those which she is too immature to make"

Just seen that that is me being quoted.

Well, she´s 13-my opinion is that that is old enough to decide about a coat.

Staying out till midnight drinking-not allowed-even if she thinks she´s mature enough!

i never knew what gym knickers were !
twas a question i always wanted answering. thanks for answering it