To have been MORTIFIED for DSD this morning and to be quite angry with DP over it??

[SisterOfRome]

So first day back at school. DSD (13) gets ready and leaves the house wearing just the school polo shirt (as do all the kids at this school). The bus stop is literally across the road from the house so she walks over and stands with her friends. Also standing there is a big group of lads from the school and a few non-school passengers waiting for the bus.

It's a little chilly but not freezing - then it starts to spit with rain. In true "cool teen fasion" none of the kids at the bus stop put on their jumpers or rain coats.

Well, DP goes over to the window, mentions that she has no coat on, opens the front door and SHOUTS:

"DSD!! DSD!!"

EVERYONE looks towards the house. DSD's face goes white.

"DSD!! PUT ON YOUR COAT!"

She shakes her head and I could have just died for her.

"DSD PUT ON YOUR COAT NOW!"

The group of lads fall about laughing. DSD looks like she's about the burst into tears. Her friends are looking gobsmacked. Again she shakes her head.

"DSD YOU BETTER PUT THAT COAT ON RIGHT NOW BEFORE I COME AND DO IT FOR YOU! I DON'T CARE IF I'M EMBARRASSING YOU, GET YOUR COAT ON NOW".

I'm cringing. DSD's friends are cringing, the lads are in hysterics. DSD looks like her entire world is over. She reaches into her bag and puts on her coat. Her friends exchange glances and are trying very hard (and failing) not to laugh. DSD has tears in her eyes. Once her coat is on, DP slams the door.

I can't believe he did it. I know its HIS dd and none of my business but I actually thought that bordered on abuse.

AIBU??

God I find it so weird that people would insist that a 13 year old would wear a coat. Do you not think at 13 that they can judge for themselves what is cold enough? Even if they are freezing and wet but won't do it on principal so what? Whats the worst that can happen? Shes hardly going to get hypothermia in the couple of minutes waiting for the bus.
I don't even think I would have a row with my 4 year old over this. She doesn't feel the cold as much as I do, why would I insist she dresses according to my body temp?

I think you're over-reacting. I can see it was a bit embarrassing in front of her friends, but it's perfectly reasonable for a parent to tell their child to put a coat on when it's chilly/raining, even at 13. And if she'd just done it when he first said, it wouldn't have turned into such a scene.

She could always take it off again when she's out of sight!

If that is all the "abuse" she ever gets from her father she is a very lucky girl.

He has embarrassed her and she will be very upset about it. He needs to apologise if she was upset but he was only looking out for her - unless there is more to this than you have said.

They will both laugh their heads off about it - when she's about 23 and a normal person not a teen any more.

pmsl at bordering on abuse.

abuse?!

you are overreacting.

Also, what's with teens ruling the roost? they need to be told sometimes.

Choosing whether or not to wear her own coat is not ruling the roost

yanbu.

Parents can be such arseholes.

"She could always take it off again when she's out of sight!"

Exactly-so what´s the bloody point of making such a scene.

Let her decide for herself!

Jeez-sometimes you have to let go.

But WHY do people have to wear coats when the don't want to? WHY????????? What will happen to them if they don't? And when will it happen to dd who will not wear a coat unless it goes perfectly with her outfit, or me, who is so ridiculously optimistic about the weather that I never have a coat with me?

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=nspcc&start=304&num=10&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=Asz&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&biw=1025&bih=432&tbm=isch&tbnid=nVGtmNEYyLEoYM:&imgrefurl=squeezemylime.com/1109410/NSPCC&docid=uxOKDLnUoJ0pVM&w=680&h=580&ei=kRllTqO4NZCx8QOwnI2hCg&zoom=1&chk=sbg&iact=hc&vpx=391&vpy=124&dur=486&hovh=128&hovw=150&tx=67&ty=125&sqi=2&page=30&tbnh=128&tbnw=150&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:304" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">YABU to consider your partner's misguided concern for his child to be bordering on abuse and IMHO you insult victims of real abuse by labelling it so. Perhaps this might help you to be a little more circumspect.

So his daughter got told to wear a coat? She was embarrassed but the world will not end, she will not be scarred for life. You're making far too much of it in my opinion.

I so agree seeker. I find it mindboggling that people wear coats in September. Have they also put their heating on already? What about their electric blankets?

So?

FFS Abuse? Hardly.

Embarassing yes.

He needs to realise she's grown up now and if she arrives wet it's her who will have to sit in lessons like it.

He may just be finding it hard to see his little girl grow up - YANBU though. I'd have been mortified.

Embarrassing, very. Abuse, don't be so ridiculous. She'll get over it soon enough. My DM does this kind of thing to me all the time and I am 26. Everyone gets embarrassed by their parents at some point.

YABU.

Not abuse, but a parent embarrassing a kid.

Not abuse in the slightest .... just a prime example of a thoroughly embarassing dad of a teenage daughter.

I can't believe he did it. I know its HIS dd and none of my business but I actually thought that bordered on abuse. I find that very offensive to start. Second if she had rolled her eyes and done as he said in the first place there would be no issue. Dad's are meant to be embarrasing, its what they do. They are also meant to care if the coat they wasted money on is actually on cold wet daughter that isn't abuse. Its love.

She should have just said "OMG my Dad's soooooo ridiculous" and put her coat on, as so many others have suggested.

I do make DS wear his coat when it's cold (he's 4) but in temps of -40 or colder it's actually life threatening not too, of course.

I think the whole situation sounds rather silly on both their parts. I wouldn't make a teenager put on a coat but I wouldn't be in tears over my Dad being embarrassing (and good thing too, he used to have a pair of these that he'd wear when I brought new friends home ), and I certainly wouldn't call it abuse.