to consider private school even if...

[stella1w]

... it means no holidays, treats, nice clothes etc etc ever for the next 18 years?

My parents scrimped and saved to put me and my sister through private school even though they had a very low income.

I also have a low income but feel I should make all sacrifices necessary.. on the other hand, I don't think putting myself under severe financial stress during the recession would make me such a good parent either.

Feeling guilty either way..

Bright spot is local infant school just got "outstanding" ofsted report, though the juniors was only "satisfactory"

I will blame my phone for the typos in that post, rather than my grammar school education!

It's a bit difficult to tell from your thread, but I think you're assuming too much about the relative merits of private and state schools (unless you've visited all the schools in question and are of the opinion that the private ones are much better).

I went to a state secondary where there was an excellent head and a committed team of teachers. I don't believe that many private secondaries would have given me a better level of education, and many would have given a less good : a lot of the people at my university had been to private schools, including top tier private schools, and I never felt at any kind of disadvantage, nor noticed that they'd had great educational opportunites I'd been denied. They'd had fancier labs, sure, but they'd done exactly the same experiments on them.

Of course, I was lucky to get a really great state secondary.

From the experience of friend with DCs at private schools, if you will struggle financially then you may find even more financial pressure on your DCs.

Being the poor kid amongst lots of wealthy families can lead to your DCs being picked on for having the wrong clothes / old cars / wrong phone etc etc

If you are on a low income then you can't afford school fees. If you are on a pretty good income, then you can probably afford school fees but not holidays. I am on a pretty good income. I could afford school fees, but it would be a squeeze. For my parents it would have been absolute pie in the sky.

But then possibly the idea of "low income" is a relative thing...

Worth remembering that a lot of 'treats' will be included within the private school fee.

Just paid a term's fees for two children at independent day schools. The cheques totalled £11,373. That will be paid another two times this academic year. Can anyone please explain how it is possible to pay school fees on a low income when annually the bill, after tax, for two children is about £34,000.

Worth remembering that a lot of 'treats' will be extra.

If local state schools decent with other committed parents sending their kids there imo you would be abit bonkers to make such sacrifices. Also my friends opinion and she teaches in a private primary. But then anecdotally my state school educated friends are more successful than the privately educated ones so admit i am biased by my own experiences (dh and i state educated Oxbridge lawyers)

my parents could have easily afforded private school but chose not to send me, as they felt that the local schools were good enough and they didn't believe it would be of any benefit once i left school. i never agreed with them until i went to university and found that most of the people i met who had been to private schools smoked and took drugs (a much higher proportion than those i met who had been to state schools) i also have found that a lot of people i knew when i was a child who went to private school haven't got any better jobs than those who went to state schools (even though a lot of them have got degrees). the only ones who have amazing jobs are those who are employed by their parents or through their parents contacts. in short, i agree that private schools can provide great experiences, but i don't think that alone will have a great impact on your childs long-term future, and the extra experiences gained at private schools can be matched by spending money on educational days out and holidays out of school. that said, if i felt any local schools were inadequate, i would look into it as an option. i think if your primary school is outstanding it would be a waste of money to consider it atm.

I love the suggestion that parents who "care enough about their children's education" will go private.. I actually care about every child's education, which is why I don't think my child should be able to buy a "better" education than the next child. And particularly not at the expense of a decent family life with holidays etc!

I would just send them to state school. It amazes me that parents pay so much and the bright kids do just as well at my local secondary, in fact almost all kids did well. i just don't get it. State education enables learning to mix with all types too which is invaluable.

Also many stereotypes about private/non privately educated people. Recently at my sisters wedding he was privately educated she wasn't. His school mates none in professional jobs v strong local accents my granny would have called them rough. My sisters friends lots of cut glass accents blonde hair tossing and interesting successful careers.

At the risk of several people calling me an idiot can I just ask what is wrong with state education?

I realise that it isnt perfect but nor is the NHS and i wouldnt dream of going private.

It's an old argument, but other children WILL benefit from more middle-class parents choosing state over private. It helps lift the average of each class in terms of attitude and behaviour.
And in a state school you would be taught to have more respect for others than to use words like "bone-headed".

Agree with jellybeans an able student will do well wherever. The school doesnt have to be outstanding. DD1 goes to a decidedly mediocre secondary (in and out of special measures) and is still on track for A*/As for GCSEs. What extra would a private school have added?

There is an awful lot of inflation in private education compared to state. It isnt just the fees, it's the school trips, the music lessons, the extravagant uniform.

Also, it doesnt have to be either/or. For the same price as private school fees parents can send their children to state school and buy an awful lot of 'extras' - music lessons, go on all the school trips, extra tutors etc etc etc. The benefit about this approach is that if there are financial problems in the household then the education is still protected.

Agree with TheFallenMadonna. A low income probably means that the cost of sending your children to private school would be more than your total income, so no amount of "scrimping and saving" is going to overcome that.

"If you are on a low income then you can't afford school fees."

There's just no point in asking whether you should go private as an abstract matter. The question is whether you should prefer one school (private or not) over another. What it may or may not cost will play into that.

MrsDV, nothing wrong with the idea of state education, but in some cases it sucks. As it did for my dcs who were miserable and overlooked in the only state school we could get places for. The contrast in their learning and happiness and general development in their next school (private) was astounding (and depressing when you thought about those left behind). But the key point is that they went from a bad school (rated 'good') to a good school. We were just incredibly lucky that we could buy our way out.

Wise words, seven.

I would opt for private unless the only affordable independent school/s were academically weak or unless they offered an academic education which was no better than the nearest good accessible state school and also none of the additional benefits of an independent. To me these additional benefits range from a greater selection of extra-curricular activities to higher standards of behaviour, manners and social skills, to you they might be something different.

If neither state nor indepndent could offer what I wanted I would HE.

Personally I think that the benefits of a good independent are worth almost every sacrifice.

I think we can assume she knows the fee structure of the school(s) she has in mind and knows that she can pay those fees, as she says in her OP, "under severe financial stress". If she could not afford them at all, it would not be a consideration for her, unless she could expect assistance from someone or is hoping for a bursary in which case again, it may mean a restricted life but nevertheless financially a possibility for her.

In your shoes, I would investigate further the local juniors and find out as much as I can about that. Maybe it is alright

Everyone could afford the fees, if they just made enough sacrifices. Apparently.

My daughter had a lovely moment at university. Her (shortlived) boyfriend had been to Eton. He was banging on about it and boring her.

So she asked him his grades. He told her but didn't ask her what she'd got. Then she asked him whether he would send his children to Eton. Oh yes, best school in the country, gets better results than anywhere, etc etc.

There was a long pause and then he asked her whether, if she had children, she would be happy sending them to Eton. "Christ, no," she said. "I'd want mine to get better results than that. No, I'd send them to a school like mine." (State primary then grammar.) She then told him her grades. She'd blown him out of the water.

He didn't speak to her for the rest of the evening.

YABU.

Am with Skippyboo.

YABU I think its a bloody ridiculous thing to do - but then I don't agree with private education anyway.

Anyway who really wants to succeed will - wherever they go to school.