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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you should NEVER trust a woman who doesnt have female friends?

191 replies

HallnotOates · 30/08/2011 11:12

and wonder how they have not accrued any in their life - or what they have done to them to piss them off - or why they can ONLY relate to men?

OP posts:
adamschic · 30/08/2011 18:19

I have a few male 'friends' non platonic Blush. But I'm probably quite a womanly woman (cannot say girly, girl at my age). Other men I know platonically are just aqaintances or work colleagues. I like their company though.

electra · 30/08/2011 18:23

yabu and sexist

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 30/08/2011 20:24

Why are they untrustworthy? What do you think they will do?

MillontheFloss · 30/08/2011 21:22

Generalizing aside, I have always found it easier being friends with men as I always had, and still have, bad experiences of cliquey and insecure female friends. Was never into the whole having sleepovers to talk about boys thing and the whole coquettish idea that you can't talk to boyfriends about certain things necessitating 'girly get-togethers' to talk about 'girl stuff.' ie boys. If I ever wanted to moan about a boyfriend I would moan to his face and break up with them if they didn't shape up.

I have female friends these days but they tend to be of a more balanced, secure variety and I keep the cliquey ones at arms length (not too difficult as I never get invited on 'girl's nights out' anyway! Just the nice, genial multisex ones!) Means I don't have a girl gang but just a handpicked few and quite happy that way. I hate the idea of being used to 'make up the numbers' anyway as I fear a few of my more girly aquaintances are.

MillontheFloss · 30/08/2011 21:23

ps. I find that my friends who see themselves as 'girls' girls' are the most flirty with the opposite sex. When you're used to platonic male company, flirting doesn't enter the equation.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 30/08/2011 21:25

That's true. And the most bitchy, I find. That's why they go to the loo in pairs - so they can bitch about anyone left behind Wink

MillontheFloss · 30/08/2011 21:27

Oh I have an acqaintance who insists on going to the loo with another female friend and has slept/ flirted mercilessly with most of her male friends!

MillontheFloss · 30/08/2011 21:28

*slept with

Serenitysutton · 30/08/2011 21:31

I don't usually get on with women who don't like other women. I am a huge fan of women and find them generally more interesting and easier to talk too.

I am suspicious of women who don't like other women or who treat them badly in front of male company (witnessed a lot from such women)

whereseveryonegone · 30/08/2011 22:47

Some women are, for me, hard work, always "we must go out etc" then never do anything unless I organise an event. I've got to the stage where I probably look odd to others but I can't be bothered to make the effort. It's sad but generally if I want to go out my OH doesn't let me down. Now that is sad! I like my boss she's good fun, that doesn't look any better :)

A1980 · 30/08/2011 22:54

Can't be arsed to read all of this. But tbh women can be and frequnetly are bitchy, back stabbing, two faced fucking c**t's to each other.

I have two close male freinds and I prefer them for honest advice. They are much more straight up than women.

thesunshinesbrightly · 30/08/2011 22:57

I prefer men, i have closeish female friend, i have grew up with alot of female friends and male friends and to be honest i would rather not be friends with bitchy,backstabbing bitches.

thesunshinesbrightly · 30/08/2011 22:58

So i avoid them like the plague.

hester · 30/08/2011 23:03

I don't have a problem with women who happen to mainly have male friends. I have a big problem with women who boast about how they don't like women.

I also have a problem with anybody who makes sweeping generalisations about a whole gender: "men are all bastards/little children", "women are all bitchy/back-stabbing". I think if your life experience has brought you to dismissing half the planet, that probably says more about you than them.

reelingintheyears · 30/08/2011 23:11

I like people...irrelevent of their gender...

As it happens i am in a quiz team of five and i'm the only female member...

It's a gas.

Most of my mates are men but i do have one very good female friend.

thesunshinesbrightly · 30/08/2011 23:16

I also don't give a shit who likes it or not or who has a problem and who doesn't, makes no difference to me and i wouldn't lose sleep over it.

hester · 30/08/2011 23:21

I should add that my friends are nearly always women, and I'm not close to many men, but I wouldn't dream of pretending that that was the fault of men as a whole (or their loss either).

PrincessFiorimonde · 30/08/2011 23:49

I find it very sad that some of you have such unpleasant experiences of other women. But I cannot believe that you would go on from those unpleasant experiences to say that therefore all women are dreadful, back-stabbing bitches, etc.

Really and truly?

As MillyR has repeatedly asked - are you a woman too? If so, do you think that you are a dreadful, back-stabbing bitch?

Cereal · 31/08/2011 00:00

Has anyone actually said that "all women are dreadful, back-stabbing bitches, etc?"

toptramp · 31/08/2011 00:12

YANBU- my uni friend had no female friends and generally hated women. Why? Because she saw other women purely as competition and wanted the men to herself. Women can be bitchy and competetive but the one's who are, are generally not women's women. A true female friend will see no reason to compete.

toptramp · 31/08/2011 00:13

when I say my uni friend I mean flatmate as she wasn't friendly to me at all even though I was initially open to her.

Cereal · 31/08/2011 00:25

That's interesting toptramp. I totally agree that a true friend (male or female) or even simply a nice person who isn't your friend, will see no reason to compete.

However, I think that people who've been on the receiving end of this behaviour can end up being "not women's women" because it makes them wary of what some women can be like.

PrincessFiorimonde · 31/08/2011 00:32

cereal, I think your comment of 00:00:27 was aimed at me and you are right; my last post was badly worded and I apologise for it. I should have said that this was what some posters had implied. For example:

"I can't stand the bitchiness and snideness (is that even a word?) that seem.to be common when women get together."

"I can't stand the bitchyness of women and the group clique mentality that exists amongst most groups of women."

"Woman [sic] are bitches."

"I have lost track of the number of times I've heard women slag each other off and then been lovely to their faces."

"personally I'd say I don't have any female friends because I've never met one who isn't a user/parasite/bitch in disguise."

"But tbh women can be and frequnetly are bitchy, back stabbing, two faced fucking c**t's to each other."

ZonkedOut · 31/08/2011 09:19

YABU.

Before having kids, I was an engineer. I never made friends easily, but most of my friends from uni were male, and people I met at work were mostly male. In fact, my best friend is a guy. That doesn't make me untrustworthy. We have always had a platonic relationship, and in fact he was my "chief bridesmaid" at my wedding.

Now I have small kids, I've met more women and started to make a few friends.

PonceyMcPonce · 31/08/2011 09:26

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