to have laughed when my fil told my dh

[biddysmama]

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much

Queen of course I see that - are you not reading my posts? What I am saying ad infinitum is that saying, anyone who is offended is offended for sexual reasons, is narrow and blind to wider issues.

I don't see why any one cares how others feed their DC.

If you were shoving your tits through the school gates then yabu but why should anyone stop just because they are pregnant?

How do mothers in third world countries feed older DC when they are pregnant?
Better for them to BF than use unsterilised bottles and formula.

How can it hurt an unborn child if you as the Mother are getting good enough nutrition yourself?.

Im not 'offended' I just dont think its necessary, like many things in life.

pam - why else would someone be offended by extended breastfeeding then? and i guess by offended, i mean someone thinks it is wrong to breastfeed an older baby.

reeling

Yes pamsco I am reading your posts

sheep was quite clear in her assertion that people who object to extended breast feeding do so because they view breasts as sexual. You then countered with a wholly irrelevant anecdote about a friend who gave up BF for other reasons saying that her reasons for giving up weren't sexual.

When sheep politely told you you hasd misconstrued her point you rudely accused her of back peddling. Hence I asked if you could see the difference between what an indivdual decides to do themself and what a third party decides is right.

Since you have been clear that you are uncomfortable with the idea of a baby that can walk BF ing perhaps you could explain why.

The 4 years statistic seems to be calculated using the mean where the higher ages have a bigger impact on the final figure. If the median is used it is apparently 2.8 years.

Or it might be the other way round....

biddysmama.

Just carry on laughing and do what makes you and your DC happy.

And my DP gets short shrift if he tries to tell me anything.

Any answers to my questions? Is the WHO sick? Or just plain wrong?

Kungfupanda Breastfeeding is a simple and practical way of reducing child mortality and I think you raise a really interesting point. Extended bfing can be really a crucial part of reducing child mortality. Let's just hope and pray that Fabby, Squeaktoy and ImperialBlether don't have anything to do with mothers of young babies and children and don't have any influence. Let's also hope that they don't ever volunteer for any trade volunteer work anytime soon.

I'm trying to get my head around the comments...

For Fabby to actually find it "weird" that someone would bf a walking child - is just a really truly a bizarre concept. But it shows how society in general has I think in some way sexualised breasts. I mean what else can be the reason? Does Fabby find it weird that there are women who are paid to be page 3 girls? Is that weird? What does she define by independence? In what way are people in society truly independent? What on earth does she mean by this? A bf toddler needs to be more independent - I mean how exactly will NOT bfing cause them to be more independent and what is the benefit of this so called independance?

Then there was the really strange comment by ImperialBlether introducing a new societal rule that " once pregnant you owe it to the unborn child to stop breastfeeding. 
" coupled with her opinion that "a mother who feeds a child who is long past babyhood does it as much for herself as for the child, but that's got me shrieked at before now."

And my personal favourite is the spoon comment - from squeakytoy somehow it is weird that a child who is able to pick up a spoon and feed themselves would need to be breastfed, but thats my personal opinion, and I would respect a mother to do what she feels is right for her, as it is nobody elses business. I mean what does squeakytoy mean?

What are the reasons to disagree with extended bfing Pamsco - you said you can see them but you have not listed them?

thanks queen - feels like i'm reinventing different ways of saying the same thing!

everything I've just read suggests that that average age of weaning being 4 is made up (not that it necessarily suggests that there are older feeders of course - using a mean would be pretty meaningless, so I'd expect it to be a mode or median anyhow). It seems around 3 is a more likely average.

There's some interesting stuff out there comparing us to other primates though - and that seems to suggest that 5 or 6 would be the most natural!

XPost KungFu

I'm not sure who said they were "offended" they maybe in a better place to explain 1st hand.

This doesn't help...

To be clear up front I have no opinion either way as I haven't read up on the evidence for and against - I favour the for.

So the risk here is I pander to your set up and list reasons other than "breasts are sexual objects" and I get attacked for things I don't believe in ho hum.

Some themes I heard said about another mum (who fed her boy until 4) which are absolute poppycock but it underpins why someone might be offended..

Thought to encourage infantilism
Social conditioning due to being told it is wrong
Supresses women's choice, keeps them in a stereotyped role

I could go on - but to counter your argument that there is no other reason is 3 enough?

Anything regarding breastfeeding is a decision purely for the mother to make based on what she feels is best for her and her baby. I do agree that she may wish to take the dads views into consideration. It is entirely inappropriate for anyone(friends or family) to put their views onto a mother and what she should do regarding bf.

I am curious about something though: a lot of people say that their child likes breastfeeding or 'as long as they still want to'...i find this strange...making decisions based on what the child wants or 'likes'. My son wants to eat chocolate for breakfast, he doesn't 'want' to go to school', i might 'like' crack if i tried it (but that doesn't mean its good for me or I should do it).
I am not saying that bf is not good for babies, to be clear, I am very pro-breastfeeding. I guess my question is not really about bf but more about what is a good reason for doing something or not doing something with regards to your child. I think it is the parent that should make the decision based on the knowledge they have and what they feel is right rather than using the the child's 'wants' and 'likes' as the decider.

trinot - eating chocolate for breakfast isn't good for them, and doing what's good for them overrides the child's desire.

If the child wants to do it, and it's good for them, so I think it's very appropriate to take that into consideration.

Queen

"Since you have been clear that you are uncomfortable with the idea of a baby that can walk BF ing perhaps you could explain why."

Then you aren't reading my posts.

I said in my first post I was uncomfortable due to brainwashing - do you wish me to expand? In the UK we have been culturally conditioned to find this an unusual sight. Do I really need to explain how breast feeding has gone out of fashion? I would not insult you.

I'm being completely honest as a new mum to be here. I have not said I am right to be uncomfortable by it.

You think my account of my friend stopping breast feeding is not connected? I am happy to explain in great detail by PM how she felt pressured by people to carry on and how I was wrong to judge her giving up early and how that is connected to the style of debate I am reading here. That pressure to carry on bf comes from other mothers.

Do you not agree that there are more reasons than sexual ones clouding people's view? That is teh only axe I grind here.

TBH i probably would have found it a little odd before i had any knowledge on the subject,from a personal or researched point of view.

if you uncomfortable with breastfeeding due to cultural 'brainwashing' then why are you peddling your unfounded ideas all across the internet??

everyone has the right to breastfeed or not.

it is pretty shit when your decisions as a parent,made in the belief they are the best thing for your child,are called 'sick' and weird' by others,with no reasoning or factual evidence at all.

pamsco wasn't the take cuddles away comment simply linked to the comments about bfing and independence?

Part of the reason for bfing going out of fashion is due to the sexualisation of breasts. Breasts are exposed for sexual gratification of others (take a look around you at everyday advertising and media) and therefore it can be seen as going against a cultural norm when breasts are exposed.

That is why you have media reports of women being asked to bf in a toilet or being asked to leave cafes or restaurants. So it is do with the sexualisation of breasts isn't it? I mean what else is it to do with?

This discussion was not focussing on someone who had bfing issues, I don't see anyone here taking issue with someone not bfing because they had personal issues?

that is NOT talking about a BABY that is about two ADULTS.

ADULTS derive sexual satisfaction from all sorts

and that is NOT a helpful stance to take when the breastfeeding rates in this country are already low.

if you have ever breastfed a BABY you would know there is NOTHING REMOTELY sexual about it.

Here is a bit of research to counteract the wikipedia link

pamsco I really don't understand either your point or your hostility on this thread.

you said you were uncomfortable with baby's that could walk BF. I quoted you on that but I am not understanding?

Asking why you are uncomfortable and what is it that you feel you have been brainwashed about is a perfectly valid question, no?

I don't need you to explain anything to me by PM. Women have myriad reasons for personally not BF or personally giving up earlier than others might choose to. That is their prerogative. But it is a wholly different issue to that of random individuals think BF is sick/weird/odd.

And I am inclined to agree the primary, if not only, reason that people think what other people do with their breasts is sick is because as a society we see tits as those things that are juggled on the front of nuts magazine for titilation and nothing to do with nourishing a child.
I

and yes the cuddles comment was simply in reference to all the 'independence' comments. thankyou for clarifying redsun

FriggFrigg - I am pondering whether to report that post from Whatmeworry. It is outrageous. Completely utterly bonkers

I really can not believe that women have to JUSTIFY their bfing decisions.