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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Poweredbypepsi · 28/08/2011 10:12

I use lifts when I have a pram with me and stairs when I dont - unless there are special circumstances that day. Its normally quicker to nip up the stairs than wait for the lift. I think either they did have some sort of hidden disability or they were feeling lazy either way they should wait their turn as should the OP.
I am confused why the hatred for the OP what's wrong with saying "i am a mummy" I am a mummy why is that so hateful?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/08/2011 10:18

It's not hateful, pepsi, it's cringeworthy. We don't have a 'cringe' emoticon here. I would have used that one.

OP's posts were pretty damning with her 'selection criteria' of who and who should not be using the lifts and under what circumstances. Posting on MN is like shooting arrows with abandon, sooner or later you hit a target and that target fires back.

I have no time for people who say what they like and then flounce off when they get a response they don't like. It's a chatboard for goodness sakes.

scuzy · 28/08/2011 10:24

Ems if this was your first post you have just been initiated. surely you read AIBU before to realise the possible replies. i took got slated on first AIBU but i learned and i love it here.

this thread gave me a good laugh.

in reply to your post OP anyone can use the lift. there was a queue and there were people there before you. they probably "pushed past you" as they felt you were being rude queue hopping!!

and you didnt help yourself with laxy fuckers and fat comments. be prepared to take it if you can give it.

scuzy · 28/08/2011 10:24

*lazy

garlicnutter · 28/08/2011 10:25

Sometimes MN gets mean, bitchy and VVU. More often, MN refuses to toady up to people who ask "AIBU", then get upset when told TABU!

This OP reckons her one child trumps another family's two children, hadn't considered the relative urgency of other people's needs, hadn't asked the others to let her go first, and was peeved about waiting for a lift that would be back again in a couple of minutes. SIBU.

I'm sorry if she's been scared off Mumsnet, but not particularly bothered she doesn't like being told she was selfish and wimpy.

MrsMipp · 28/08/2011 10:28

I can't get over the sense of entitlement on this thread. And I mean the YABU responders as much as the OP.

Of course it is polite to wait your turn in queues. Of course being a new mother doesn't mean the world should stop and wait for your every whim.

It's wise not to judge others when you have no idea of their circumstances. HOWEVER, common courtesy should make you consider the impact of your behaviour on others. The lifts in my local shopping centre are ridiculously small, slow and crap; it is not unusual to have to wait more than five minutes for one to finally stop with enough room to squeeze a buggy in to it. It is utterly frustrating when you see each one go past stuffed full of teenagers joyriding them. And I'm sure it's every bit as frustrating to those visibly able-bodied people who need one for whatever reason, even if it's just because they're knackered after a long day.

NasalCoffeeEnema · 28/08/2011 10:29

Cannot be arsed to read the pages and pages of repeats of last threads.

Op if it bothers you that much get a sling and walk yourself

Empusa · 28/08/2011 10:29

LadyBeagleEyes No problem, I've just had hassle in the past because I don't look disabled. I even used a walking stick for a while, even though it was actually not all that great for my particular problem. Was the only way to stop people pushing me out of the way etc. :(

Curious about all of the people saying prams/wheelchairs should go first? You do know the lift comes back right? Lifts don't only run once a day, you can just get the next one.

ningthemerciless · 28/08/2011 10:31

What Nasal said - was about to say something along the same lines.

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 28/08/2011 10:33

The thing about this thread is alot of people have come on saying YARBOO take the pram on the escalator/lug it up the stairs. That is being unreasonable. There is no reason she should have to resort to this.

HOWEVER, your need is NO greater than that of anyone else just by virtue of the fact that you have a pram. If someone says "No you go first" then all well and lovely but if they don't, well they just don't. You wait for it to come back, get on it and in half an hour it's a dim and distant memory.

SardineQueen · 28/08/2011 10:36

mrsmipp she was in john lewis

I'm sure the lifts were top banana

joric · 28/08/2011 10:39

And very spacious too IME Sardine ! :o

Groovee · 28/08/2011 10:39

I have an invisible disability.... Fibromyalgia can't be seen but it leaves me in a lot of pain. I try not to use lifts but sometimes I don't feel steady enough to walk down stairs or use the escalator safely. If I have my children with me then they come in the lift with me. Sorry if you think that by looking at me I am a lazy fuck but judging by looking and not knowing is a horrible trait in people.

everlong · 28/08/2011 10:39

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everlong · 28/08/2011 10:41

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FerretMum · 28/08/2011 10:44

How do YOU know who NEEDS to use the lift? Live and let live for goodness sake!

joric · 28/08/2011 10:46

Groovee- exactly, I was out with a friend who is very ill- we took the lift up one floor in a smallish shop. She actually said- 'I can't do the escalator, we'll have to take the lift. Shall I put on a limp?' WTF???
I said no but she was aware that people would be watching and wondering what we were doing. :(

GoofusMoore · 28/08/2011 10:48

Everlong Grin Fabulous.

everlong · 28/08/2011 10:50

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everlong · 28/08/2011 10:52

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MightyQuim · 28/08/2011 10:56

I disagree with the attitude that people should use lifts 'if they fancy it' and are able to use the stairs when people who obviously need to are waiting. If you are able to use the stairs I think you should. If I'm out with dh and the kids one of use will take the pram in the lift and the other will take the stairs with dd because I think it would be impolite to make people wait who can't use the stairs when we can (I also think it's a healthier habit to get kids walking wherever possible). YABU to be peed off with people who don't look like they need to use the lift though as it is impossible to tell from looking who, for a variety of reasons, may need the lift and who is just being lazy.

joric · 28/08/2011 11:00

Mighty- agree about healthier but if I want to go to the top floor 7+ flights up... I will use the lift because I fancy it.. Escalator or no escalator!

Meglet · 28/08/2011 11:03

I don't understand healthy people who use the lift or escalator Confused. Why wouldn't you want to keep fit? (I seriously can't get into the mindset of people who take the easy option).

Suncottage · 28/08/2011 11:08

I always travel on top of the lift in true Hollywood hero style.

Keeps me amused for hours.

MightyQuim · 28/08/2011 11:11

Well yes in a tall office block or something I think most people use the lifts other than those going to the lower floors but I don't think the OP was talking about that or a lot of people on here who are saying you should use the lift just because.
In regular shops/public buildings that aren't high rise I really think it is rude to have the attitude that you should make someone wait who CAN'T use the stairs just because you fancy using the lift! But of course you can't go pointing the finger at who does/doesn't look like they need to use the lift. It's down to individuals to do the decent thing.