to feel utterly trapped and pissed off with my life

[ssd]

I don't know if I'm depressed or just really down, I feel so desperate and hopeless and sad

I have a nice family, dh and 2 kids. Dh is very involved with the kids to the point he's like super dad, coaches their sports , volunteers for this, love to watch them play sport( I have 2 boys they and dh are totally football mad). I permanently feel like the odd one out, I have watched them on a Saturday for the past 6 years if possible, I will encourage them to the ends of the earth, but I'm not into football, it is of no interest to me and if mine weren't playing I wouldn't go near. If the world cup was playing outside my window I wouldn't open the blinds. But my boys love it and I'm pleased they have a passion for sport and I encourage them as much as I can. Dh and them love the same team and go to watch when funds allow. I am totally left out, I just don't share their interest, however hard I try.

The boys train at night and play at the weekend, they are 3 years apart and they never train or play together, so someone is always at home with whoever isn't playing at that time. And its always me at home, always. I feel liike a rat in a cage. Dh either coaches them or is involved in some way and of course he's champing at the bit to go and watch them anyway.

I have no family support at all, no one I could leave either child in with whilst I go and do something for me (don't know what is for me anyway now). My mum is mid 80's and there is no one here but me for her, she relies on me for so much and there is no one to share the strain with. I resent her for being so old and so needy, I feel so needy but theres no mum to ask for help, I'm like her mum now and that hurts so much.

I just feel so sad and lonely, i feel theres nothing for me. I can't plan anything as one of us has to be here for whoever's not playing as I said earlier. Me and dh have absolutley no coupe time, we have tried to get a babysitter but costs and the lack of anyone around here has put the ki bosh on that, we never have a night out. I can't organise the boys to go for sleepovers, friends offer then when you get the nerve up to ask they can't help, I have asked the friends who have offered and they are always going out, it doesn't help that everyone I know here has close family who seem to help out all the time.

I just feel so shite and I'm sick of it, if I had any money I'd run away.

Hab, we need this topic don't we! Like you I feel I could explode with it all at times. But I must say the support and encouragement I've had on this thread has really moved me!I have arranged a day out with friends and no kids, usually I'd never think to do this, "incase" the family needed me,but its about time I had some treats too!!
and GentleOtter, thanks, but I'm across in the west of Scotland, very kind of you to offer anyway

Ssd. I'm glad you've arranged a day away. I hope you have a great time. While you're there, fix a date for the next outing, even if it's a long time away.

Keep on badgering for a new topic on elderly relatives, but why not just start talking on the one you're on? There's already a bunch of people who seem to be in the same boat, so just go for it. Then MNHQ will see the need, which will make it all the more likely that you can get a new topic. I know I'm interfering but I know you all want to talk...I'm not in the same boat, as my dad died years ago and my mum is still fit, or I'd go on there and kick it off myself.

Hope the tattoo is not stinging too much .

I have no advice to add, just wanted to fling my support and empathy into the ring. I'll follow the advice on here too, hopefully.

original, maybe I will, just dont see whats keeoing them, although i havent a clue how long these things take

after all we have topics on chickens and super furry animals!! so i think one on old folks would come before hamsters....

Well, I'd just start talking then. People start threads all the time saying, 'thread for people with blah blah...' and then clarify the aim of the thread in the first post, don't they?

Go for it!