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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

probably you will all tell me I'm a boring old fart but 13 year olds and highlights???

58 replies

lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 16:47

DD's friend has had her hair highlighted. Not just grab some "sun-in" from the chemist and do it at home but £100 plus @ salon. I'm Shock for two reasons... a) that 13 is too young to interfere chemically with natural beauty and b) ok, if you must, that kind of money?!!!

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 26/08/2011 16:55

YANBU. Bloomin' ridiculous.

mummymccar · 26/08/2011 16:58

Actually I had highlights from the same age for about the same price. Mum really didn't want me to but I was one of the few people in my year not dying her hair at the time and it meant a lot to me. It really boosted my confidence at a time when I was becoming very aware of how I looked and I got a job to pay for them to be kept up for years. I can see why you would be shocked and upset, I'm sure people were when I had it done, but as I said it really boosted my confidence at a time when I really needed it.
Plus, I was terrified of those temporary kits because of all the Daily Mail stories about allergic reactions and at the time a girl I knew was telling people her hair had started falling out because she was using them too regularly (I know now that she was probably making it up but it scared me at the time!)
Just please don't tell the Mum your concerns, it won't help anyone.

lachesis · 26/08/2011 16:59

Awful. NO WAY I'd permit this for one of my daughters. Too young to start going the fake route.

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/08/2011 17:01

I had highlights at that age. I'm 30 now. I don't see the problem with it.

ragged · 26/08/2011 17:02

I knew an 8yo girl with hi-lights (no idea if they were expensive version or not). I didn't like it much, either.

dexter73 · 26/08/2011 17:03

I don't have a problem with the highlights but I do with the £100.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 26/08/2011 17:03

I had my hair permed for my 14th birthday at a nice place, in fact it was where my teacher had gone for her wedding hair.

tuxedoprincess · 26/08/2011 17:05

seems a bit young but if they can afford it guess its best done professionally and as mummymccar says if it helps with confidence. remembering back I think I was about this age when I started the experiments with the harmony hair tubes in the triangle boxes... oh god how old am I! they were wash in and out though so perhaps not quite the same

herbietea · 26/08/2011 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 17:06

mummymccar, good to have an alternative view, and can see it from your perspective...a few girls in their year have coloured their hair, but DD's friend is the first to have hightlights/salon colouring- she was also the first at 9 to have leg/eyebrow waxing, and has had fortnightly manicures for ages.... This girl is (on the face of it, accept we don't really know what the actual situation it) supremely confident, good at everything, but also gets a lot of money spent on being the first/best. They are growing up, you can't hide from that, but I was nonetheless abit taken aback at this

OP posts:
Cocoflower · 26/08/2011 17:07

I once did some temp work in school.

One of the reception girls had highlights! A 5 year old!

rainbowinthesky · 26/08/2011 17:07

Yabu.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 26/08/2011 17:07

my daughter (14) wants to dye her beautiful blonde hair 'pale auburn'. It makes me go all reactionary and 'not while you're under my roof'.

Takitezee · 26/08/2011 17:07

I would usually say 14 but 13's not that far off. I'm not sure why you're bothered how they spend their money though.

Original poster
lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 17:11

gosh, lots of people posted while I was typing my response. I just don't get highlights at 13 (leaving the cost aside for a mo). But sounds like I am indeed a boring old fart (not that DD will be having highlights for a while yet, she has naturally goregous hair with natural highlights - why mess with it? )

OP posts:
Original poster
lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 17:13

you're right, it's none of my business at all how they spend their money. Doesn't stop be being Shock tho

OP posts:
dexter73 · 26/08/2011 17:16

Does the mother of the girl take a lot of care with her appearance? If she does then I suppose it would be fairly normal for her daughter to follow suit with highlights and waxing. Your dd sounds very lucky with her hair!

Original poster
lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 17:20

yeah, it's the norm for that family to spend a fortune on beauty treatments/cosmetics/toiletries and that I'm not bothered about - their money, their choice. Just felt it a bit young for highlighting, and perhaps done only to be "the first" rather than for any other reason. Not really important just was interested in others' opinions as I know I'm quite conservative about stuff like this.

OP posts:
AlpinePony · 26/08/2011 17:21

As a child of the 70s, during my teens we all had perms. I think I was 13 when I hit the peroxide. 100 quid?

ShatnersBassoon · 26/08/2011 17:22

I had my hair permed when I was 13, which isn't very different. It was fashionable at the time, and my mum did try to persuade me not to but I wanted to be Gloria Estefan.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 26/08/2011 17:23

I find the waxing and manicures even more shocking than the highlights, on reflection.

Fimbo · 26/08/2011 17:24

No, I am with you lilolil. I don't really get it either, seems the norm for some of the girls in dd's year. If it is not highlights it's dying it a reddy/wine colour. Mind you its the ones that wear make up that looks as though it has been trowelled on and snogging boys in the street.

Maryz · 26/08/2011 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OpinionatedMum · 26/08/2011 17:26

YABU Harmless. Plus it's their money to fritter as they please.

I had a perm at 13 too.

Original poster
lilolilmanchester · 26/08/2011 17:30

oh, so many conflicting views!! But seems it's not that unusual and I am perhaps BU and showing my age!! First girl at school to have a perm was 15 (back in the 70s) and everyone thought it was outrageous. Guess I need to get a bit more with it!

OP posts: