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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

help and advice

206 replies

FondantFancie · 26/08/2011 11:26

My husband thinks he is entitled to half my child tax credits. We have three children together which we share contact exactly half and half. we have been separated for 3 years now. I have just recently had a new baby so am not working and just claiming the benefits I am entitled to. He is a full time teacher.

He feels that he is entitled to the tax credit money while I do not as he is working. He puts the children into childcare which costs him a lot each month. He claims not to have any money to spend on himself or the children. What should I do?

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 16:45

They cant swap days because the mother wont pick them up from school as she moved too far away.

TheCrackFox · 27/08/2011 16:46

They could go to a new school. Plenty of other children change schools.

tiredgranny · 27/08/2011 16:47

TABUL he will not get tax credits he is working when they work out benefits the op gets income support for herself and child tax credits for her children if she was to work she might get working tax credits when they work out hb ct etc the amount of tax credit is taken into consideration although the gov say how much for each child if she gave half to him she would be worse of she still has to pay rent for the month even though kids are only there part time he saying she gets 2000 a month but that is including rent council tax so she might not have that much over

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 16:49

He is only requesting half of the amount he would be entitled to had he made the claim. The op gets all her rent and council tax paid as well.

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 16:50

She was gave up work previously to get cash in hand from her boyfriend....

TheCrackFox · 27/08/2011 16:52

I really don't think he is entitled to anything. CTC and WTC have chnaged massively in the last year so I think he probably earns over the threshold. Could be wrong though.

She gets her rent and council tax paid as she is unemployed. That is the way the system works.

ballstoit · 27/08/2011 16:53

Tired he doesnt get Tax Credits because the op gets all of them...if she didnt, then he would get some help. Why are you assuming she's paying her rent? Tax Credits are paid on the basis of paying for children full time...as op doesnt feed and clothe them half the week, I'd be surprised if she doesnt have some over (and worried about how she'd manage if contact was reduced).

tiredgranny · 27/08/2011 16:55

she has baby could be on maternity pay stat maternity pay goes on the last 66 weeks before date of claim u are all assuming she sahm
if it was on the other foot op ex got money would u all support him

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 16:55

He is entitled to some money. That's what he has said on the TES thread. He is unable to claim it despite caring for the dc 4 days out of 7.
Why should he have to work till late at night because of the op.

ballstoit · 27/08/2011 16:57

TheCrackFox why should the DC change schools, and routine, and see less of their father to suit the op? Perhaps the DC could spend an extra night at their Dad's?

Strange how the op can pick up them up from school on a Thursday and Friday? Probably the extra £200 a week she gets in her pocket by doing so makes it easier for her.

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 16:59

Of course if it were the other way round I wouldnt support him. I dont change my opinion depending on the gender Hmm

ballstoit · 27/08/2011 16:59

tired please use punctuation, it's really hard to work out your point each time!

If I've understood what you're saying then, yes, I would support him to get half the money for the half the week he has them.

TheCrackFox · 27/08/2011 17:00

Why shouldn't they change schools and routine? Lots of children , after their parents separate have to move house etc. It isn't fair but then life isn't.

If he is convinced that he in entitled to money (he isn't) then he should report the Op for fraud and get his fair share.

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 17:01

Ignore my last post. I have misunderstand tiredgranny's post.

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 17:02

thecrackfox - I dont know anything about benefits but according to the ex he is entitled. How do you know he isnt?

rainbowinthesky · 27/08/2011 17:03

misunderstood

Crabapple99 · 27/08/2011 17:03

Yes, actually, we do have to work until about that time (5.30 is the earlies we can leave in my school), and do all "that stuff" at home later as well. As someone else has already pointed out, start times in the morning vary from school to school too, typically 20-30 minutes before the children,arrive. I don't have this at my current school, but added to the journey, plus childminders charging by the full hour, preschool care was also a big whack of my pay in previous schools, when for example staff were required to be on site by 7.30. As I said in an earlier post most teachers are well under the limit for tax credits, and in 15 years of being a parent, it is only in the last 2-3 years that I have been better off working than on benefits. I was on benefits for 6 months once, and was by far better off then, than when teaching full time and paying my own rent and childcare etc.

ballstoit · 27/08/2011 17:06

Sometimes children have to move, yes. But sometimes parents put their children first and don't disrupt them to ensure they keep the most benefits they can.

tiredgranny · 27/08/2011 17:07

he would only get tax credits on sliding scale childcare upto 70% does not mean he will get 70% i think we have been had on the other thread he has disappeared and op disappeared here

IRCL · 27/08/2011 18:13

So instead of sharing the money, he should either cut down contact or uproot the children and their routine? Sounds as if they have done that enough.

Would´t it be easier to just help out a little bit, after all she doesn?t even have the children half the week...

magicmummy1 · 27/08/2011 20:45

I can't believe that people have suggested that the father should cut down on his contact time with the kids just because working for a living brings in less money than the ex-wife gets on benefits. Or that the kids should be uprooted and forced to change schools when it was the OP's decision to move away. The tax credits are for the kids FFS - why aren't their interests paramount here? Shock

I wonder if people would suggest that a mum should reduce her contact time with the kids if the father was refusing to share the tax credits. Somehow, I think not. Hmm

CardyMow · 27/08/2011 23:43

The poster who mentioned about splitting the CHILD BENEFIT earlier - that doesn't get split either. Nor does Child Tax Credit. The limit for WTC is £17.7kpa before tax. Ex-P was earning £16.8K pa before tax, I was a SAHM, and we got the sum total of £4.21 a week WTC. So why everyone thinks that the OP's ex-H would be entitled to WTC as a fourth year teacher on £25k+ is bloody beyond me.

He MIGHT get ^something towards his childcare, were the dc with him full-time, but it is NOT the whole childcare - it's 70% of a maximum of £300 a week.

Plus - to those that don't know, it is the person in receipt of the CHILD BENEFIT in respect of that child that is allowed to claim the TC's for that child. OP has been to an appeal brought by her ex-H, which SHE WON, which means that the DWP believe the OP to have more contact.

ALSO if she wasn't claiming the TC's and ChB, she would no longer be able to receive housing benefit to cover the rent on the property she is in - they would only let her claim HB to cover the rent on a 2-bed property MAX. Which would mean she would have to downsize, and try to fit 4 DC into ONE BEDROOM. For half the week. Does no-one on here understand just how interconnected all the benefits are? I

If OP lost the ChB - SHE would be the one having to cut down her contact, for not having a suitably sized house to have staying contact (which her Ex-H would then be able to argue in Court). I wonder if her Ex-H was controlling in their relationship - as I have personal experience of someone trying to manipulate the benefits system like this to try to control ME in the past. (not going into it - but some men DO DO THIS).

magicmummy1 · 27/08/2011 23:55

Loudlass, he would get CTC not WTC - the threshold is different.

CardyMow · 28/08/2011 00:15

Yes the threshold is different - I will grant you that, but does the mother LOSING HER HOUSE sit well with everyone saying the OP's Ex should be claiming? Bet HE won't lose his house for not claiming TC's.

You can't have one parent claiming WTC and the other CTC either. AND is everybody missing the fact that the OP has won an appeal brought by her Ex WITH the DWP where the DWP decided the OP was the main carer ? .

SMACKS of the Op's ex being a controlling twunt to me, wanting to hurt the OP for moving on with her life and having a baby with someone else when he hasn't moved on. Am I a lone voice there?

flippinada · 28/08/2011 01:44

I do understand exactly how tax credits work. For whoever posted the patronising link.

Exactly loudlass.

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